Open discussion on wedding pet peeves

eddiesgirl11 · April 2011

What is everyones biggest annoyance about weddings specifically what people do at weddings ..... Whether it's your annoying family member wanting to do everything or a bm who does nothing? What annoys you the most? Vent here!!!

mm4662 · April 2011

I love this post! I have a lot of pet peeves :-)

First and foremost.... I work with 63 other women in an elementary school. They are sweet but I get the "how's the wedding planning going" question EVERYTIME I pass people in the hallways. 20-30 times a day. Then some people ask the SAME question each time they see me. They ask "when or where" the wedding is... sometimes twice or three times a week. I know my wedding isn't top of their priority list but if they don't want to pay attention to my answer, then they shouldn't ask!

Along those lines... someone will ask me "How is the wedding planning going" and I say "good or fine"... and then they say "Well at my wedding......." and continue to give me advice or tell me what I should do etc. '' So J... I totally understand!

S- I totally understand the money thing. My FI's parents are only paying for the flowers. They haven't offered to help with anything else and kinda even complain that the flowers are too much money. My biggest pet peeve is the brides parents pay for everything. I understand they don't have the money but it's not like my parents have however much it costs hanging around in our house. I just don't like the whole concept of the bride's parents paying for everything. I wish it would change in society. If we have boys, I will sure be offering to pay for his guests.

I guess I have a pet peeve with a lot of wedding concepts. I'm definitely more a feminist thinker so I've been questioning a lot of traditions in weddings.

dbpsu18 · April 2011

I hate the "hows the wedding planning" question and most people's expectation that I'm going to be a super stressed bridezilla.
We've been to soo many weddings in the past few years that honestly, I dont want to talk about my wedding planning with some of my friends because ALL we've talked about is weddings for the past few years! i really hate that people think that just because i'm a bride, that means i'm a bridezilla.
Most of the time when seeing certain friends and family.. I make it a point to not talk about the wedding.

gmc22 · April 2011

Well, currently my FI (see Wed GM post for more info). He basically doesn't do anything for the wedding and it really gets to me. We went to dinner last night and he was so compassionate telling me he really appreciates everything I've done for the wedding so far and he knows how stressed I am - and then he promised he'd help me with RD invites and, of course, didn't do it... gah! I want to kill him sometimes!!!!!!!!! LOL

eddiesgirl11 · April 2011

Gmc, I saw that!! I would freak too. It's not like it's an easy task and I'm sure you were tired too! Just remember the big picture .... And if you left it to the guys you'd get married at McDonalds.

mm4662 · April 2011

I'm not sure why my response went to the top!

Oops!

gmc22 · April 2011

LOL - true... I just really wish he'd try a bit more - but, then I remember he's a guy and basically incapable of helping with anything without me asking nine million times or thorough coaching (aka nagging), so it helps calm me down a bit

lol

sarilynnep · April 2011

Haha... My FI basically told me that he would get married in the church basement and order pizza for a reception if it was up to him. He does help me a lot though so I really can't complain. Since it's just the two us who live in Pgh, and I don't have my family or friends here to help, he has gone to visit each venue, photographer, etc. He usually asks a lot of questions too. Kinda proud of him.

My biggest issue is always the financial part of a wedding. I feel like we get ripped off at every turn. We are paying for our wedding ourselves, and my FI's condo hasn't sold so financially it is really frustrating. If we could sell the condo we would be just fine, but FI is constantly worried about not having the money to pay for things. This brings me down a lot as a nice wedding is the only material thing I have ever truly wanted (seriously, I care more about it than cars or a house). My FI feels bad for talking about it and wants me to have exactly what I want, but I know he is stressed over it as well. I have to reassure him every day that we won't go into debt for this.

eddiesgirl11 · April 2011

No offense to any second time brides but my biggest pet peeve is when second, third ect brides have a big wedding and even a shower!!! Even if it's the grooms first time this means nothing ! Have some respect for your famiy and friends and keep it small!!

jlbaxter33 · April 2011

One of my biggest pet peeves is the unsolicited advice. The most ridiculous was that someone told me you can "rent flowers" and insisted that I look into it. I also hate how people say, "oh, its getting close now!" yeah, I know, the knot reminds me every day, thank you.

FI not helping also bugs me, but I think in the end he will do it.

The worst thing I ever saw at a wedding was a basically rascist slide show with awful commentary. This old man talked about the couple and showed slides of African natives. It was the worst thing I've ever seen at a wedding. For sure.

sarilynnep · April 2011

Jb- oh my god that is terrible! I don't understand people. And yes, unsolicited advice makes me angry as well.

The worst wedding I went to was this one in far away Indiana. I drove 4 hours from Louisville to get there and the wedding was just awful. The couple are going into ministry (as a lot of friends I know are doing) so I knew there would be no alcohol. Ok, I was fine with that. I didn't expect there to be a hell fire and brimstone service. The bride was raised catholic then became baptist later in life, and the baptist minister tried to 'witness' to her catholic family by basically saying catholics are going to hell. Yep. The reception was awful as well... It was just bad all around. I was mad I drove all that way.

cgyvhu · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-pittsburgh_open-discussion-wedding-pet-peeves?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:116Discussion:054a56ac-c520-43a2-9b1b-b379d24aa501Post:c650d75f-516d-4837-9c61-b1af998d5757">Re: Open discussion on wedding pet peeves</a>:
[QUOTE]My biggest pet peeve is people who use the phrase "it's my day" to justify things about their wedding. It's not your day, it's not your FI's day, it belongs to the two of you, together, and everyone else that is involved.
Posted by pantherRN[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup, this.</div><div>
</div><div>I brought this on myself kinda, but I get sick of the "your wedding is so far away why are you planning it?" thing. Well, next year I'm writing a PhD dissertation, graduating, and looking for a job... so I want to plan while I have time. But I shouldn't have to explain why things are best for me and FI.</div>

jlbaxter33 · April 2011

Weird! These are so out of order! I will report this at once!

pantherRN · April 2011

My biggest pet peeve is people who use the phrase "it's my day" to justify things about their wedding. It's not your day, it's not your FI's day, it belongs to the two of you, together, and everyone else that is involved.

It also bothers me when people are outspoken about how their wedding or whatever is so much better than someone else's. Sure, it's ok to think it. But don't say it.

MrsCipriani721 · April 2011

I'm only recently engaged, but I hate when people tell me to go off to the JP because "weddings aren't worth it". Thanks, but I'll make that decision on my own.

Patriot0107 · April 2011

Wow, really made me feel better to see other FIs not so inovolved. I guess in some ways I'm happy cause I can go do/get whatever I want (in reason...we are payin for this and are by not means rich) but I'd like him to be invoved more. In a way makes it feel more like mine/miy guests day more than ours cause he doesn't seem to really care! Not that I expect him to get into colors, dresses, flowers etc, but there are some aspects he could be more involved in but he just don't care which makes me feel like crap. I'm thinking this is the day I'm marryin the man I love......it's a day of OUR celebration but he just doesn't seem to care...oh well...guess it's a guy thing...

On another note, he and his dad just started a business a few months ago and it has been hit or miss. Things have been tight and we specifically planned ourwedding 2 years out to save up for it and we are mostly paying for it ourselves and after doing some research...it seems like everything is expensive! I am now taking on a second job and he hates it and thinks I'm crazy for worrying about all these wedding expenses. Keeps telling me we have all this time and I feel we don't. If that was the case we'd be getting married this Oct and not next. He keeps telling me we'll come up with the money and all I can think in my head is...How!

Sorry, guess I just needed to vent. Been kinda down about the planning process lately and my mom is the only one who really seems to hear all my ideas out and actually seems interested (God Bless Her) but gettering her to the wedding is also a stressor cause she has agoraphobia (which no body in their right mind can understand). So it is going to be a long and stessful road.....sorry girls...I have no one to really talk to and just needed to get this off my chest to people who are going through the same thing...I appreciate you listening!

mm4662 · April 2011

P- Hang in there :-)

It will all work out!

kristenrmu22 · April 2011

I like many: Hate advice not asked for. Or when people ask me about my wedding I tell them (it is slightly off beat) and I get funny looks.

I hate to say it because my mom has helped me a ton while planning but I am having a small wedding and she wants to make EVERYONE feel special...if it was up to her everyone in my family would get a bout or some type of flowers. Then she gets upset when I tell her "no, our entire wedding is family"..

At the actual wedding I don't care for Sloppy Drunks.

LilyWater09 · April 2011

I actually had my admin assistant tell me that I should not let my bridesmaids have any opinion in their dresses at all - I should just pick it and tell them what to go buy and be done with it. I told her I could not do that because they are all VERY different in body types and wanted to make a fun day of it. She said that was stupid and I should just make the decisions because it is my day. Wow I would have hated being a bridesmaid for her wedding.

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