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Catholic Weddings

Just curious about the first kiss

We spoke to our priest and are saving our first kiss for the reception.
I know it is allowed in the mass and there is absolutely wrong with it, but we prefer to save it for the secular part of our day. Our priest agrees.  We have a pretty traditional parish. :)

Anyone else also not doing the "you may now kiss the bride?"
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Re: Just curious about the first kiss

  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i actually didnt think "you may now kiss the bride" was part of the catholic ceremony.  we didnt have it at ours (latin mass) and i know at the novus ordo they usually allow the couple to do it at the sign of the peace, but i dont recall an announcement.

    our first kiss was actually in the door way of the church after we processed out, and before hte congregation exited.  its a very cool shot with the lighting.
  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    We actually did kiss after our vows..... which was unexpected to me, because typically if I see the couple kiss in a Catholic wedding, they wait until the end of the Mass to be announced and then they kiss.  But our priest actually did that right after the vows....  So, I mean, I liked it.  And I don't really see how kissing would be viewed as completely secular.....  But this is one of those things that definitely depends on the priest.

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  • edited December 2011
    Our priest did not do the "you may now kiss the bride" as I also don't think it is part of the Catholic ceremony. We did do a quick kiss after we were offically man and wife. Our preist went over when to do it at the rehearsal.
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  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]Our priest did not do the "you may now kiss the bride" as I also don't think it is part of the Catholic ceremony. We did do a quick kiss after we were offically man and wife. Our preist went over when to do it at the rehearsal.
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    Oh, yeah, probably should've been more specific.  Our priest did not use that line.  He introduced us and we kissed.
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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]Our priest did not use that line.  He introduced us and we kissed.
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    We did this, too!  There's likely no issue with waiting till the reception :)
  • edited December 2011
    I always wonder about this, and I think it's prob just different from priest to priest.  I know for my sister, he said it wasn't part of the ceremony and didn't want them to kiss. Most weddings I've been to, they don't announce "you may kiss the bride," but there is still a kiss after "I now pronounce you man and wife."  I just hope my priest tells us what to do so we don't make fools of ourselves lol

     

  • edited December 2011
    Totally not at the ceremony-planning stage, but at the last wedding at my parish, the couple was invited to kiss right before the recessional, after the Mass and Benediction.

    I go to tons of Catholic weddings, but can't remember about the first kiss away from my parish.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    another interesting note - my priest discouraged applause being that its a church ( i so agree with him on this too).  but, i was at another wedding recently where the priest said applause was encouraged. 
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]another interesting note - my priest discouraged applause being that its a church ( i so agree with him on this too).  but, i was at another wedding recently where the priest said applause was encouraged. 
    Posted by Calypso1977[/QUOTE]

    It's so funny how priests are so different about this.  I've known priests who request that no one applaud, but then I know priests who begin the applause (such as when they announce the results of a very successful parish fundraiser).

    Calypso -- are you against any applause in the church building, or just applause during Mass?  An example I'd give to you is that my Catholic HS always holds graduation at a local parish church.  There is a Mass, after which all the grads leave and then process back in, and then there's a graduation ceremony (which takes place in the church building).  Of course, the parents/relatives/friends applaud for the graduates as they receive their diplomas.  Does something like that bother you?  Just curious :)

     

  • mica178mica178 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss : Oh, yeah, probably should've been more specific.  Our priest did not use that line.  He introduced us and we kissed.
    Posted by doctabroccoli[/QUOTE]

    Same!  (During the rehearsal, our priest told us this is where we'd kiss.  H totally forgot during the actual ceremony, so his uncle (also a priest) whispered rather loudly, "This is where you kiss her!")
  • edited December 2011
    Mine used the line and everything. I guess it depends.
  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Just as an aside on Calypso's point---I typically don't like applause during mass, but I am on the fence about during wedding ceremonies.

    I mean, usually applause during mass is applauding some kind of human accomplishment ("Yay for the choir"--applause!).  But during a wedding, the applause is a celebration of what God has done (joined two people).  I don't know, I just see it as more fitting.  

    I can't imagine a priest not at least letting you have your first kiss during the sign of peace.  It's called the kiss of peace originally for a reason.  It is interesting how it just depends upon the priest.

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  • edited December 2011
    What an interesting idea.  I had never thought of it!

    That said, I am kissin' this guy.

    Future-Nephew actually stood up on the pew and asked to be held up at the last wedding we were at so he could see the bride and groom kiss.  =)
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
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    edited December 2011
    I've never been to a wedding, Catholic or other, where the couple didn't kiss after their vows.

    The deacon did tell M & E when they should kiss.  I really don't think they needed to be told ;)
  • edited December 2011
    I’ve read the Traditional Latin Wedding Mass (which my finace and I are having) and a kiss was not included in it. Will have to ask about that next meeting.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    kayla - yay, another latin mass person!

    i dont like applause in a church period, because usually the blessed sacrament is present.  i am also not a person that talks in church - i always speak in whispers when im in a church.  it always bothers me when people arrive at mass early and they use that time as social hour, in the pews, rather than talk in the vestibule or church entrance.
  • _Dagney__Dagney_ member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Traditionally it's NOT a part of the mass, but I know it is often done these days. I really don't think there is anything wrong with it at all...but I like the idea of saving it for our entrance at the reception.
    I've been to many Catholic weddings, sometimes they kiss, sometimes they don't.

    And out priest doesn't "announce" us either.  He doesn't like to. We also don't do the "unity candle" at our parish...again NBD for those who do.

    HAHA it's funny how the little things are different. My non-catholic MOH was horrified when I mentioned we wouldn't kiss in the church. She said couldn't picture a wedding without it.
  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
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    edited December 2011
    yeah, we werent announced either and no unity (not a catholic thing anyway).
  • lisa89760lisa89760 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did kiss but the priest didn't say you may kiss the bride I think he just said ok you can kiss her now to my husband like in a whisper.  Everyone clapped because when he announced us the first time he put his mic up to my mouth so I could say my new last name for the first time.  So it was like "for the first time I am pleased to announce Mr. Jared and Lisa...and then he took the mic off and gave it to me.  So everyone clapped...and then we went on with the rest of the mass. 
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]kayla - yay, another latin mass person!
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I like the applause as the bride and groom are announced husband and wife.

    That's what everyone is there for and I see no reason not to applaude.

    I will say that when I was a child, it wasn't done, that I remember
  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    We have great speakers come to our masses and they are applauded.  I really don't see the difference
  • edited December 2011
    We applaud after Father welcomes the newly baptized in to the Church.  We applaud the Confirmation candidates after the Rite of Welcome.  Matrimony is another Sacrament where the community welcomes another joined couple with applause.
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  • catarntinacatarntina member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Our priest did it differently.  He had us kiss during the sign of peace.  He had all married couples kiss to show each other peace, and then me and DH kissed.  It was cute.
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  • HandBananaHandBanana member
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Our priest didn't use that line.  It was more of a "Now kiss your wife."  He did it after he had our guests bless us (right before the sign of peace) and whenb he presented us as a couple.

    Also, we snuck a peck durring Eucharist. Its the picture in my sig. 

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  • edited December 2011
    We pecked during the Sign of Peace, just like we do every mass we attend together. Then, at the end, the priest announced us and whispered to us to kiss. It was actually way less awkward than I had anticipated before hand.

    I don't have a problem with polite applause for those who have received sacraments, or to thank people who have taken time to speak to us. I do have a problem with applauding soloists or the choir or those who are regualarly part of mass. I think that applause is a culturally accepted way of celebrating, and we are celebrating God. H and I have also gotten into the unusual habit of clapping after prayer because of the community he lived in before we were engaged.
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  • edited December 2011
    We have a "guitar" Mass once a month and the other 3 Sundays it is the organist.  I have always had a problem with the applause for the guitar group and never for the organist.  What is the difference?
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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Just curious about the first kiss:
    [QUOTE]We have a "guitar" Mass once a month and the other 3 Sundays it is the organist.  I have always had a problem with the applause for the guitar group and never for the organist.  What is the difference?
    Posted by debbiem56[/QUOTE]
    wow, really?! well... I'm sure you could find lots of answers, but *I* would say that is one of the intrinsic problems with guitars in church--they are already associated with "performance" in our culture (whereas the organ is almost exclusively used in church.) [and I would say guitars are therefore not appropriate!]
    As Pope Benedict said, ""Wherever applause breaks out in the liturgy because of some human achievement, it is a sure sign that the essence of liturgy has totally disappeared and been replaced by a kind of religious entertainment. " (Spirit of the Liturgy p. 198)"
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
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    edited December 2011
    There are three types of applause--- 1. Saying good job to a performer 2. Assent as a group to something (actually prescribed at ordination)- I think this is where priests get the idea to ask a congregation to welcome newly baptized 3. Th way a group reacts to delight--- something separate from reaction to a performer--- this happened when the pope entered the arena in St louis. They weren't applauding his performance, but reacting to the atmosphere. I completely agree that people/musicians shouldn't be applauded for entertaining. However, I know I've been to many masses tha was an extremely moving experience- the last song being more peppy and joyful-- i immediately wanted to clap afterwards Along with the group- I think it was a corporate response to the holy spirit. I completely disagree that the guitar instrument is the cause of soliciting applause for a performance. Any instrument could do this. Perhaps this particular case the last song is indifferent style that moved people differently.
  • doctabroccolidoctabroccoli member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Agape has a point......  If you have something that's more upbeat, many people are more drawn in by it and express their joy of the peace they've received in a more obvious manner.  There was a woman in our parish who used to clap and shout "Thank you, Jesus!" at the end of every mass.  Since she died, that tradition has been carried on by several other parishoners.  The weeks we sing very upbeat songs for the closing hymn, there are definitely more participants in that ritual immediately following the end of the song.
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