OK, so today my fiance reminded me that his grandfather was sick and this COULD be his last Christmas. He then asked me that if Grandpa should pass away near our 10/10/2010 wedding, what would we do? (Cancel/postpone or continue with plans). I told him not to worry about that right now because we have no idea what is going to happen. But I was thinking if it was my grandpa, not sure I could continue as planned if he died close to my wedding date. so SHOULD this happen, do we postpone the wedding? And if so, how much flack are we gonna get from the venue, caterers, etc.
Re: ODD question came up today about a possible funeral
EDIT - And it's not an odd question, really. I thought about what would happen too, since DH's grandmother was in very bad shape at the time. Thankfully, she has since bounced back and is doing better. But I asked myself "Would she want us to postpone the wedding for her?" and she would have told us we were silly to even think that!
I too agree with what GG said.. and what Cham. said about the vendors.
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A good friend of mine from college got married the first September after we graduated. Unfortunately, her youngest brother was very sick with lukemia at the time she got engaged, and they really had no idea what to expect. He passed away about a month before the wedding, and planning the wedding for that first month after his passing was the only thing that kept their mom together, she said.
Everyone deals with that situation differently. As for how to deal with your vendors - I would talk with them as soon as you and your FI have agreed on your desired approach, and let them know the possibility exists. Ask what their policy is (if it's not spelled out in your contracts), or if they would be willing to have a more flexible policy for you, given your situation.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Personally I think the only reason I would have postponed the wedding is if the death was only days before the wedding. I'm not even sure about that (it would depend on the person)
My family celebrates life and does not mourn death. I can't think of anyone that would want us to cancel our wedding and the next chapter of our lives together because they died.
[QUOTE]wedding insurance...then you will have the freedom to choose exactly what you really want to do and not worrying about the financial bind you would be in. i wouldn't depend on the vendors being that understanding.
Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]
If they're already sick, the wedding insurance may consider that a pre-existing condition. Also, many wedding insurance policies only cover illness or death of the bride or groom. Please review any policy very, very carefully.
Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
Randi - Since it is so far away, I would wait some time to see what happens. It is good to think about what you might do, but don't worry too much. Sadly, it could happen with any of your family or your friends. If it does happen, you'll know what to do. Your heart will tell you what is the right thing to do.
First of all, because we're Jewish we could not cancel or postpone the marriage itself. If my FIL had passed away this week, we would have had to cancel all of the festivities surrounding the wedding and had a family only ceremony, but by Jewish law we would have had to proceed with the marriage.
I did mention postponing the wedding, but everyone in my fiance's family insisted that we go ahead with everything as planned. Not only because that's what their Dad would have wanted, but everyone really needed something happy to look forward to.
Also by Jewish law, if/when a wedding procession and a funeral procession cross paths in a town, the wedding procession always has right of way because life takes precedence over death. Granted, that particular piece of religious law is very antiquated. But the sentiment I think is important, life should always be celebrated over death.
Obviously, this is a decision that you and your fiance need to make together and according to your own comfort level. But remember, even in times of tragedy, it's ok to feel joy and happiness.
Hope that helps...
My mothers dad has been sick (bedridden in a hospital) for the last 3 years. When mom told her mother about our wedding date she goes "Oh well your father could go at any time, I think Kristi should get married in 2010". Mom goes "While I respect that thought, dad has been on the verge of passing for 2 years and we're going ahead as planned". (My family does not get along with my maternal grandparents. They have ignored me or purposefully snubbed me my entire life so I was not postponing a wedding they already said they would never attend anyways)
Sure enough, he died at 9pm on my wedding day, about the time the reception was winding up.
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