Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

garter toss

I know that the garter toss is traditional and actually seems like a lot of fun to me! However my family is very conservative and rather uptight, so I'm worried that they might have a fit or get uncomfortable if i include this tradition. And although i do think it would be fun, I'm worried that in the end it won't be, because I'll be so nervous about how my family would react.

Any advice or suggestions on what I should do?
Our baby! image Sadie

Re: garter toss

  • Keep it chaste.  Don't have your FI stick his whole head up your dress.  Have him take the garter off your let with his hands, not his teeth.  Wear your garter just below your knee instead of on your thigh.

    Buy a bottle of wine.  Give the woman who catches the bouquet keep the bouquet.  Give the guy who catches the garter keep the garter and give him the bottle of wine.  Don't have him put it on the bouquet catcher.

    Clue in your dj ahead of time so that they know what your plans are.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I just saw pictures from a Mormon wedding wear they did the garter toss. I think you're in the clear. Like PP said don't have your FI climb up your dress head first, or have the catcher of the garter feel up the catcher of the bouquet. 
  • I actually never knew or heard of the garter catcher putting the garter on the bouquet catcher!! hahaha
    "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." imageimageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • I  was in a wedding where the groom didn't even take the garter off. Right after the bouquet toss (which I caught), the groom did the garter toss. No one questioned from where the garter came (his pocket -- the bride had discreetly given it to him earlier). At the end, the photographer took a picture of the garter-cater and I smiling next to each other, but there was no awkward putting the garter on or other innuendo.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • ha! I hadn't seen or heard of the garter catcher putting the garter on the bouquet catcher before either. I agree with the others, that this can be done very tastefully and fun. Definitely no teeth. As someone watching, I always thought it was extremely awkward when the groom stuck his whole head up the dress also.
  • I have a similar issue, I don't really want to do the garter toss (or even the bouquet toss either), but my fiance really does.  I feel like I have been making a lot of the final decisions, so should I let him have this one? I feel uncomfortable with it, and my family is very conservative too, so I don't think they'd enjoy it that much either. I'm not sure what to do. I want to put my foot down and say no, but I've had the final say on so much.
    Anniversary DS was born 11/30/12... so in love :)
  • elisabethb29 do as has been said above. Garter below knee, no teeth, not putting it on the girl etc. I have a very conservative family and I have been to cousins wedding where they do it just more discret it can be done nicely.
    The most beautiful things in the world are not seen nor touched. They are felt with the heart. -- Helen Keller Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I'm not sure this helps you but I was looking for a bouquet/garter toss alternative the other day and came across a Knot article that suggested hiding something like a ring in one of the cake slices. It sounds pretty neat to me, I think I'm gonna go for it!

    Good luck :-)
  • I have a new question for this topic.  Does the guy who catches the garter really get to keep it?  I always thought the garter was a keepsake for the bride.  I was thinking of getting a Star Trek one because my fiance is a huge fan of it, so it seems odd to let someone else keep it when it has special meaning for us.  Two garters maybe?
  • livelaughlove88, garters are generally sold in twos.  One is the keepsake garter for the bride, and the other is a smaller tossing garter.  So if you toss the tossing garter, the one who catches it gets to keep it, but you still have one for yourself.
  • I attended a wedding where my 13 year old nephew caught the garter and my 12 years old niece caught the bouquet. They were brother and sister!  When everyone realized the relationship and the ages of the catchers (they did the tosses together) they didn't exclude them. They made the biggest joke out of it! The girl sat in the chair waiting on her "what a ham!" brother who proceeded to entertain everyone by dancing around her chair, waving the garter above his head. When he did slide it on, it was only mid calf for the photo-op. It was very sweet and very funny since these two fight like cats and dogs M-F.
  • We're not doing the garter toss.  While our families arent super conservative, we will have about 30-35 kids at the wedding.  While I'm ok with it if it was something he wanted to do my FI doesn't really want to for that reason.  He says it would make him uncomfortable and that is fine with me!
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