Just talked budget with pops- YIKES- need tips for how to make it work!!

K10Byrd · December 2010

Hi, I have posted once before about outdoor wedding receptions... I just got engaged on my birthday on December 6th, I've had visions of manisons and orchids dancing in my head- and now finally had the budget talk with my father.

His words- 'I read online that you can put a nice wedding together for $10-$12,000'. I'd just read in my Bride mag that an average wedding is $25,000!

Whats a girl to do? Open bar is a no brainer to get rid of, don't need a limo, but feel like I CANNOT skimp on the venue, flowers or food... any ideas for how to still make it work? I will contribute $5,000 or so.

Should I stay away from venues that work with that Mintaho caterer? They seem to be extra pricey. Any ideas welcome!

saintpaulJess · December 2010

How many people?

So the total budget would be $17,000? Or $12,000? Either way, it's do-able.

Just a personal opinion, but I'd skimp on flowers way before I'd skimp on drinks for my guests. No one will remember your flowers, but your guests will remember how well they were hosted.

quincygirl77 · December 2010

I don't think you have anything to worry about at all!! I am in the same boat price wise and it is going to be very manageable.

I also whole heartedly agree with Jess that you should find ways to budget on the flowers before drinks. There are so many florists at many different price points, so you have a ton of options to save some money. Even if you had to budget on drinks, you could still have a signature cocktail, wine and beer and save a lot versus a complete open bar.

Oh and there was a good thread on this board about actual wedding costs a month or two back (dig back through the posts and you should be able to find it). I think those magazines have every incentive to make you feel like you MUST spend that much. Just some thoughts!

K10Byrd · December 2010

Hi ladies, thanks so much for the tips. Yes, the budget will be more like $17,000.

You really think drinks are important huh? I guess I thought guests wouldn't expect their drinks to be paid for. But I agree, if I were a guest I woud love it! Plus we love to go out and have drinks with our friends, we're big on the nightlife, so it would make sense in that regard...

Maybe the wine and beer idea, that's smart! Thanks so much! I just love flowers, being a girly girl and all

Also, we're foodies, too, so we would want to splurge on the appetizer hour too.

Ugh so much to think about.

SuperRNluvsChef · December 2010

I agree with Jess, the reception is a way to thank your guests so I don't think you should skimp on food/drink. You can always do hosted beverages, we're hosting beer,wine and 1 cocktail. As for flowers, you can get great flowers and not have to spend a ton of $$. I'm having several pricier flowers in my BP bouquets (orchids, callas, ranunculus) and I'm spending $600 total on flowers. Look into florists like Intuitive Blooms, Simply Stated Elegance, Petals and Sprigs and Twigs. As for venues, do you have a date yet? Remember off season months (October-April I believe) are often much cheaper. Or the day of the week, Friday or Sunday weddings can also save you $$. I recommend the PEC, it's fabulous venue and the coordinator Heather is fantastic. GL with everything, and I look forward to getting to know you! Happy Planning!

graysquirrel · December 2010

First off, never listen to what any bridal magazine tells you. The industry is trying to make money, pure and simple. They want you to think that if you don't have X Y and Z, you're day is a failure and your guests will whisper about you. Not true. They mostly just care about the food. Also keep in mind that "average" includes the mega weddings thrown by the very rich that spend a few mil. It does not mean the average, middle class person.

10k is definitely enough to have a nice wedding. That is our budget cap and we've been able to plan the whole thing with honeymoon and rings without going over white still getting what we want.

Here are a few of the things we did to save

-- Got a photog new to the business (also a friend). These people are really passionate and give a good deal because they're building reputations. All of our photos & e-session were 500

-- Doing own flowers from bulk sellers

-- Skipped limo, aisle runner, garter, bathroom/flip flop/hotel baskets

-- Picked venue that allows us to get our own caterer & drinks (saves you a ton)

-- Shopped around for best caterer for the price (found one that gives a ton of extras with the food for free)

-- Purchasing our own alcohol and soda

-- Getting married on a Sunday (saves $ at the venue)

-- DJ from Neon Express-- only $300

-- Got couture dress from a dress warehouse for half off

-- Doing own makeup

-- Printing own invitations & programs

-- Using glass-like plastic plates

-- Made own favors & guest book

-- No coordinator

[Deleted User] · December 2010

You have PLENTY of money to work with. We are doing our whole wedding for around $8k and paying for everything ourselves.

The guest list is the most expensive part, but again with a $17k budget I don't see where you'll need to limit guests. We are inviting around 150 people

You can save a bit of money by having your ceremony & reception at the same place - you won't have to pay a church/ceremony venue a fee, plus it eliminates the need for transportation.

A small bridal party - less people in the WP means less gifts to buy and a much smaller rehearsal dinner (especially since the RD, members of the WP are usually allowed to bring their significant other) Plus, I've found that even organizing dress related things with a small bridal party can be stressful and I only have 3 girls. I can't imagine if I was trying to coordinate 5+ girls getting together at the same time, finding a dress they all like or that flatters all of them etc.

Also in lieu of a traditional wedding cake, we are doing centerpiece cakes. Individual round cakes on each table for guests to cut/serve amongst themselves. It will encourage guest interaction at the tables, plus save us money on cakes AND centerpieces.

Get married in the off season (usually Nov-March or April) most places have lower food and beverage minimums and/or room rental fees. Many other vendors can be cheaper to book during these months as well.

Steph0871 · December 2010

How big is the guest list?

We had 150, with beer and wine, delicious food, gorgeous flowers, etc. For a grand total of $8000. It can be done. Just be prepared to have to make choices, and choose your priorities.

Look at people who are new to the business, or have recently branched off onto their own company.

K10Byrd · December 2010

Steph- wow, that's amazing! The guest list is currently at 125, but I think I can cut a few

Can you give me more details about your wedding?

I think I need to stop looking at extravagant venues like Nicollet Island Pavillion- just can't get that 'fairy tale wedding' idea out of my head!!!!!!

I Want Cake · December 2010

Provided you're not inviting hundreds of people, a $17,000 budget is pretty generous. As PPs said, ignore the stats about what "average" weddings cost because they're not your wedding. My FI and I have a similar budget to yours, and we're doing the mansion reception and the whole bit with about 120-130 guests. You just have to set your priorities about where you want to splurge. It was important to us to splurge on the venues, but not so much on things like flowers, DJ, STDs, and decor (having it in a mansion that does it all for cheaper than any vendor really helps). It was also really important to us to be able to provide our own liquor, since caterer prices are absolutely ridiculous (most of the mansions we looked at allowed you to do this). Also, consider what you want your general wedding budget to cover. Will it cover your dress/alterations/accessories, or will you pay for that on your own outside of the budget? Our budget is not covering clothing for anyone in the WP, including FI and I, and I've been paying for a lot of smaller items on my own. It was important to me to not take away money from things that guests will enjoy so I can get my makeup done and my tattoo covered, since those are things for me and only me that they won't care about.

Anyway, set your priorities where you want your money to go, then get creative with the stuff you're going to skimp on. This forum has helped a ton with finding cheaper options and DIY projects, and even some vendors, that will save you money.

If you really are looking into a mansion reception, check out the St. Paul College Club. It's hourly rate is comparable to others in the area, but it has a main floor ballroom and you get use of the entire space, not just a few rooms. The food is a little on the pricy side, but you get to provide all your own liquor. Also, from what I gathered at my meeting with the coordinator there yesterday, she takes care of making everything run smoothly that you shouldn't need a DOC. There's a little bit of sticker shock initially, but you get a lot for your money. We're having our reception there for 130 people for about $10,000. That'd leave you plenty of money left over for all the other stuff.

Steph0871 · December 2010

k10- I should have mentioned that our budget didn't include our rings or a honeymoon (we're not taking one.)

We choose new photographers ($1k) and LOVED them.

Choose someone who does flowers as a side job. Her quote was $600, which was about 1/3 of the other 2-3 people we spoke with.

Most importantly, though, we had our wedding at PEC.

Everything was included, the room was gorgeous so we didn't need to do much with it. We could bring in our own booze, which saved a ton.

And, our cake was made by a friend, so it was significantly less.

I DIY'd our invites. They ended up being about $0.75/piece before postage.

Still though, you should be able to make it work, especially if you're willing ot make a few 'sacrifices'... although, really you just need to be willing to put in the time/effort to research a good deal.

Oh, I lied. I bet it was a little over $8... maybe even closer to $9k. I forgot my dad bought the wine on his own; I have no clue how much that cost for 30 cases or so. We bought our beer in from WI

It was $300 for two kegs.

aaand. before this goes somewhere I don't want it to. Just a nice reminder that we all have different budgets. Just because I spent less than $10k, doesn't mean my wedding sucked. Nor does it mean my wedding was ZOMG so much better than yours, because I'm a budget bride. Likewise, no judging people because they may choose to spend $50k or more on a wedding.

K10Byrd · December 2010

Steph, thank you!! I am going to tour the PEC on the 8th, I love their customizable approach, we'd love something funky and cool! Did you get married there as well? I read a review that suggested to be married elsewhere but that it was great for reception.

The budget i mentioned wont include rings or honeymoon either. Thanks for all the great ideas! Love it!

Steph0871 · December 2010

We had our ceremony at PEC as well... in the Casablanca Room, and LOVED it. I'll AW my pictures again, because you asked...well, not really, but too bad.

stephjeremymarried.weebly.com

They did a fantastic setting up for ceremony and changing over to the reception. We opted to have a WP table, and just a sweetheart table on the dance floor. They set up chairs on the dance floor for our families during the ceremony, then cleared those for the dinner.

We didn't have a dance at all (we had a Sunday afternoon wedding), so that saved us money on the DJ and alcohol consumption as well.

Not sure if you've found a DJ yet, but we used Neon Express. They gave us a discount for having the wedding at PEC, because they can use the equipment that's already in the room (and PEC doesn't care either.)

musicalsunlight · December 2010

I think that PPs gave you great pointers, Steph made a good point about different budgets. That said, I think you will find that you can still have a great wedding within your price range! I also recommend the PEC, I haven't booked my venue yet, but they are in my top few to choose from. Since you said you are thinking around 125 for guests, I would say you will have a generous amount to spend on your guests for food and drink, so don't feel like you have to skimp on guests food and drink. Like PP said, the reception is a thank you to the guests and the food is one of the most important parts, especially if you want your guests to enjoy it!

I have a budget of around 10k give or take, and in order to save some room, we are doing a lot of DIY things. Check out a lot of the bios around here to see ideas of things you can do cheaper yourself! There is a whole DIY message board too which can really help.

Also, if you are up to it, if you get married offseason, as PP said, you can save a lot on some costs. I am getting married in Jan to save. I also bought my dress at a consignment shop that was originally a sample dress at a salon, and got it for over 75% off its original price. I have also been purchasing used wedding items from other brides to save on little costs for things for centerpieces, etc. HTH!

Good luck, and keep us updated on your planning!

SSaltzman87 · December 2010

Just remember that there are cheaper alternatives for just about everything, so figure out what's REALLY important to you and what you could care less about. I'm trying to keep everything under $10K, so $17K is definitely doable.

For Example, if you want a cheaper venue- try looking outside the metro area. I originally wanted a venue in St. Paul that was on the cheaper side of most venues there- but after doing some number crunching and really figuring out how much it would cost, we found it to not work for us. So I'm currently on the hunt for a new venue.

Also, as time goes along I think you'll find certain things to be less important than you do now- so it'll be easier for you to potentially sacrifice things if need be.

mysticatgal · December 2010

Don't worry. We are getting no help and figuring out how to cut costs. Try to do some projects yourself. We are cutting out favors and doing our own bouquets, centerpieces, invites and programs at least.

If you want to look at a venue that sounds up your alley, check out Summit Manor. It is more affordable and unique. Then you don't have to do centerpieces at all.

flower_lover · December 2010

I agree wholeheartedly with PP's, the magazines seem way off when it comes to "average" wedding price. Their numbers might be skewed by millionaires who spend hundreds of thousands on weddings or something.

We had what I would describe as a storybook wedding at the MN Landscape Arboretum for about 100 guests, for about $9000. My best advice is to keep coming to this board when you're shopping for vendors! I am sure I saved a few thousand by getting vendor recommendations from local brides on this board, and it was a lot of fun getting to know the other brides-to-be, too!

We made our own flowers for the reception tables, and just had the professional florist do the bouquets, boutinieres, and larger flower arrangements. We did DIY invites, and the Arboretum lets you buy wine/beer for the reception and they serve it for you. That saved *a mint*. We bought the wine/beer from Surdyk's during one of thier sales (they have 4 a year), and we were able to return unused, unopened bottles.

Another major piece of advice---visit the Knot board called "The Dress". There is information on reputable wedding and bridesmaid gown discounters. I got my dress and BM dresses for 40-50% off by using vendors I found there.! I visited local shops to see what I wanted, but ordered dresses online from the vendors I found via that board.

ID149 · December 2010

Lot's of great advice here! I just want to add that we will probably top out at no more than $9,000 but I got everything I wanted and 150 guests. Ceremony is at WBL Methodist, around 900 bucks total and I'm not doing decorations at the church. Only have our brother, sister and 2 nieces in the bridal party so I told my sister to get any dress she wanted as long as the color was right. I hear you about the flowers, I don't want to skimp on the flowers because I have always loved them. So to save, we're ordering in bulk from costco and doing our own arrangements. I have a couple days off before the wedding anyway and it's not that hard to take care of them for a few days. Reception is at Manitou station downtown White Bear Lake and they have no room fee if you spend a grand total of 6 or 7 grand which we will by providing dinner, kegs and wine. (they also only have one ballroom on it's own floor with bathrooms and a cocktail area. LOVE this place) "saveoncrafts.com" for a lot of DIY stuff also. I bought metal french flower buckets for centerpieces and they were super cheap. Jeff Loven 1 man band instead of a dj because he's awesome and only $900. Good luck with your planning! (price not including the honeymoon cruise in the western carribean:)

Just talked budget with pops- YIKES- need tips for how to make it work!!

Re: Just talked budget with pops- YIKES- need tips for how to make it work!!

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