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Is this happening to any of you?

SonaliPopSonaliPop member
500 Comments
in South Asian Weddings
I REALLY fought domestication until things got as serious as they did. And still, I fought cooking and cleaning and learning about both of those things. But with time, a lot of that has melted away...although I don't always view the traditional bahu's lifestyle with admiration, sometimes I think about how much I'd really like to take on those roles and be a really good cook and a good wife. I have stopped fighting so hard and see it more as an accomplishment. I am a modern person, an educated woman, and I'm still not as traditional as the women in my family have had to be within their own marriages, but I'm kind of ...changing. I won't admit it to many other people apart from him and I think, sometimes, Hindi films kind of bring this on lol...Weird emotions.

Has this happened to any of you?

I still took value in cooking a good meal and such, but I never revered it as much as I have. I really want my modern lifestyle, the vacations, the trips, the dates, but...some of these things I'm starting to see differently.
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Re: Is this happening to any of you?

  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Sonali!!  The longer we were dated, the more I started thinking about having more of a traditional role and cooking didn't seem like a chore or a duty but something fun I can do.  Although, I am still not a great cook, I love trying and practicing. 
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  • mrs.khanmrs.khan
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's totally me too. 
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  • raangoliraangoli
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree - it's nice to be able to say that you can take care of your FI/husband while holding down a full time job. I look forward to it. As long as he can deal with pb&j dinners from time to time and won't always expect a home cooked meal  :)
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  • HisBelovedOneHisBelovedOne
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It didn't really happen to me thet way, because I've always wanted to be a housewife. It isn't that I feel I'm being "domesticated" or that it's a woman's "place." It's just where I want to be. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom, even when I had career options in mind (teaching, paralegal, physical therapist, etc).

    In my mind, a big part of feminism was that a woman now had the option to choose what path she wanted her life to take, rather than being forced into the position of "good little wife" who was at her husband's beck and call. FI and I have talked over and we will not be doing it that way - I won't be his maid, I'll be his wife, and the terms are not synonymous.
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Exactly...I was a Women's Studies minor in college, so it's nice to hear people reflect similar beliefs. I respect someone's right to choose and I think one of the most important jobs someone can have is to be a good wife or a good Mom. I had a great stay at home Mom my whole life (as did my BF), and I appreciate it. That being said, it's not the path I'm choosing fully, but aspects of it are important to me. Being a good wife, eventually a good Mom, those things are very important.
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  • Bhanu&AnujBhanu&Anuj member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_this-happening-of?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:60ed9002-7ca2-4121-80a4-055eb46e2af7Post:ce59f6e0-c051-495a-88ec-c33f8c1d39ba">Re: Is this happening to any of you?</a>:
    [QUOTE]...it's nice to be able to say that you can take care of your FI/husband while holding down a full time job.
    Posted by raangoli[/QUOTE]


    Word...couldn't agree more!
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  • jnsainijnsaini
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I totally can relate, FI is the first guy I cooked for ever, and I love it!! I discovered am good cook and last time I visited him earlier this month I made him and his roomie paranthas for breakfast..he was still in bed. When he woke up to see that, he was so happy and thankfully for me the paranthas tasted good, when we sat on the breakfast table..he joked and said should I look forward to my breakfasts like this after the wedding..lol I said yea as long you help clean up afterwards :)
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