Too Early to Plan?

sarahdactyI · July 2012

What have you girls done already? What is the hardest thing to wait on??

For me it's the bridesmaids... I'm so excited to pick the WP and start looking at dresses with my girls. But, everywhere I've read says to wait until 6-9 months before the wedding... so that is what I am doing... it is just so difficult to wait!

Personally I know it's best for me because I'll be moving and I know a lot of big changes are coming up in my life. Also I was asked to be a BM in my friend's wedding, a little over a year before, and by the time the wedding came around, our friendship was definitely strained. Now, several years later, we NEVER talk even though we live in the same city! It's so bizarre.

What about you guys?

Shifsgirl · July 2012

So far, we've picked the colors, picked my bridesmaids dresses, picked our wedding party, picked the officiant, scouted the ceremony and reception site and got proposals, scouted the photographer and videographers and got proposals, scouted catering companies and got proposals, decided on two favors, and picked the ceremony music

As you can tell, I'm not playing any games! LOL

The hardest part to wait on is actually starting to put deposits down to make it official! A lot of people don't like to book so far in advance, which helps keep the customer at ease so they won't be out any money in case something falls through or if they are no longer open, BUT... I just want to fork over the money and say LET'S DO THIS ALREADY!!!!

sarahdactyI · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:5ed48835-3d88-4e50-bb1b-38a2793f0058">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]So far, we've picked the colors, picked my bridesmaids dresses, picked our wedding party, picked the officiant, scouted the ceremony and reception site and got proposals, scouted the photographer and videographers and got proposals, scouted catering companies and got proposals, decided on two favors, and picked the ceremony music As you can tell, I'm not playing any games! LOL The hardest part to wait on is actually starting to put deposits down to make it official! A lot of people don't like to book so far in advance, which helps keep the customer at ease so they won't be out any money in case something falls through or if they are no longer open, BUT... I<strong> just want to fork over the money and say LET'S DO THIS ALREADY!!!! </strong>
Posted by Shifsgirl[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That is a lot of stuff already done!! Honestly I'm planning from another state so I think if I were in Houston I'd be doing a lot more... but there's only so much internet browsing I can do before I get frustrated. I'm going to be in town in August/September of this year so I plan on doing a lot of picking then!

</div>

Shifsgirl · July 2012

I'm a Florida born gal and so is my hubby, but we now reside in GA. Cost wise, it would be better fo rus to get married up here, but we would probably have a better turn out if it was held back home! Planning from a different state can be the pitts, but don't fret! It will all come together and workout for the greater good

Have you attempted to look at any dresses yet?

zizibet · July 2012

We're picking our venue-November is high season so Saturdays fill up early. I'm dress shopping, but haven't found anything yet-hopefully will in the fall collections. We're also in the process of choosing our photographers. We've also chosen our cake baker-Fi wants a sculpted cake, so we found alocal specialist in that. Also, looking to see whether we can have our favorite local gelato place have a cart at the reception.

Shifsgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:56bd8d41-c5c1-406d-9c3e-b1ba68250bd4">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE] We're picking our venue-November is high season so Saturdays fill up early. I'm dress shopping, but haven't found anything yet-hopefully will in the fall collections. We're also in the process of choosing our photographers. We've also chosen our cake baker-Fi wants a sculpted cake, so we found alocal specialist in that. Also, looking to see whether we can have our <strong>favorite local gelato place have a cart at the reception.</strong>
Posted by zizibet[/QUOTE]

<div>A girl after my own heart! Gelato makes everyone happy, lol... This would be a really cool <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" /> and cute idea!</div>

princesscastillo325 · July 2012

I have the WP, Bridesmaids Dresses, Tux *ideas*, the place to hold the ceremony and recption, and the wedding colors...

I'm waiting a bit to finalize things with the photographer, cause I don't know when to start that, but I know who I want haha

pisha82 · July 2012

We have our venue, booked and put down two deposits. Our venue includes our food and alcohol. Our venue also includes our cake. We are in New Jersey though, so I am learning things are very different here then in other places. Plus a lot of people here book very far out so you need to book when you find what you want available. We have our church booked, picked the deacon we want to marry us. He is a family friend. Have our band booked and given deposit. Have our photographer booked. I have my dress, already paid for, waiting for it to come in. Our wedding party is picked, we did ask them. But they are all family so family doesnt change. We r looking for florists now. Right after Christmas we will get the bridesmaids dresses, my whole wedding party will be here. Its the only time until May we will all be together again, and May is my SIL's wedding so wont be looking at dresses then. I feel good having what I have booked and done. There is still so much to do, and I do want to be doing a lot a few months before the wedding. I just want to do the finish details and the fun stuff then. There are a million details, I dont want to stress myself out a few weeks before the wedding trying to get things done, I want to enjoy it. I personally think 6 months before is crazy to pick ur wedding party. 12 to 9 months seems more like it. You need time to get dresses and tuxs and other things. 6 months just doesnt seem like a lot of time to me.

sarahdactyI · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:517cea5e-afd1-42f4-a2ef-38fd2e935551">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]We have our venue, booked and put down two deposits. Our venue includes our food and alcohol. Our venue also includes our cake. We are in New Jersey though, so I am learning things are very different here then in other places. Plus a lot of people here book very far out so you need to book when you find what you want available. We have our church booked, picked the deacon we want to marry us. He is a family friend. Have our band booked and given deposit. Have our photographer booked. I have my dress, already paid for, waiting for it to come in. Our wedding party is picked, we did ask them. But they are all family so family doesnt change. We r looking for florists now. Right after Christmas we will get the bridesmaids dresses, my whole wedding party will be here. Its the only time until May we will all be together again, and May is my SIL's wedding so wont be looking at dresses then. I feel good having what I have booked and done. There is still so much to do, and I do want to be doing a lot a few months before the wedding. I just want to do the finish details and the fun stuff then. There are a million details, I dont want to stress myself out a few weeks before the wedding trying to get things done, I want to enjoy it. I personally think 6 months before is crazy to pick ur wedding party. <strong>12 to 9 months seems more like it. You need time to get dresses and tuxs and other things. 6 months just doesnt seem like a lot of time to me.</strong>
Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh I agree!</div><div>
</div><div>I'm kind of putting stuff on hold because FI and I are both studying for the bar exam, then we're moving cities. Additionally, FI's mother passed away at the beginning of this June unexpectedly... so that definitely has made the wedding planning harder/more sad because I <em>so</em> wanted her to be there, you know? </div><div>
</div><div>BUT as soon as all of the bar stuff is over, and we get our stuff moved and such, I'm going to look at dresses with my mom (I know she'd want to come with me). Plan is to ask the bridesmaids at least sometime after the 1 year mark :) </div>

zizibet · July 2012

Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. That has to be tough on your FI.

Shifs, it's amazing gelato, and you get 6 flavors. The problem is the cart they use for serving requires 220v power-like a washer or dryer, so we're checking to see if any of our venue options have it.
Going to a Maggie Sottero trunk show tomorrow, so maybe I'll find something.

pisha82 · July 2012

So sorry to here about your FMIL. Good luck with your bar exam also. I agree in your situation you have to wait a little bit. When you move then look at dresses and ask your wedding party. How are you going to ask your bridesmaids? Are you just going to ask them or are you going to mail them an inviation card, mail them a present to ask? What are your plans? I agree when you are going to look at dresses is a good time. What if they need to be ordered, you need time for that. My SIL ordered her dress a year out and it came in two months before WRONG! She didnt get her dress until three days before her wedding! And she even ordered earlier then guides tell you too. I think of that everytime someone tells me its too soon to do something. For your dresses are you doing all the same for the girls or different? My MOH wants a different dress so I said that was fine as long as it isnt too different from the rest of the girls. It will be the same color and material, only a little nicer. My MOH and I go and look at dresses all the time and when we go with the bridal party they will have 3 or 4 to chose from. This way they have a choice but not an unlimited choice. We can then pick the dress that looks the best on everyone. I think it is fair.

pisha82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:4564da4e-f177-48d3-b709-040a1da2c99a">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. That has to be tough on your FI. Shifs, it's amazing gelato, and you get 6 flavors. The problem is the cart they use for serving requires 220v power-like a washer or dryer, so we're checking to see if any of our venue options have it. Going to a Maggie Sottero trunk show tomorrow, so maybe I'll find something.
Posted by zizibet[/QUOTE]

I love Maggie Sottero! I really thought I would end up with one of her dresses. I didnt though, she has amazing dresses! Good luck, send us a pick!

sarahdactyI · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:ccc34443-5917-4ed8-9963-b5ca3c031c2c">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]So sorry to here about your FMIL. Good luck with your bar exam also. I agree in your situation you have to wait a little bit. When you move then look at dresses and ask your wedding party. How are you going to ask your bridesmaids? Are you just going to ask them or are you going to mail them an inviation card, mail them a present to ask? What are your plans? I agree when you are going to look at dresses is a good time. What if they need to be ordered, you need time for that. <strong>My SIL ordered her dress a year out and it came in two months before WRONG!</strong> She didnt get her dress until three days before her wedding! And she even ordered earlier then guides tell you too. I think of that everytime someone tells me its too soon to do something. For your dresses are you doing all the same for the girls or different? My MOH wants a different dress so I said that was fine as long as it isnt too different from the rest of the girls. It will be the same color and material, only a little nicer. My MOH and I go and look at dresses all the time and when we go with the bridal party they will have 3 or 4 to chose from. This way they have a choice but not an unlimited choice. We can then pick the dress that looks the best on everyone. I think it is fair.
Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

<div>Umm that is super scary!!!! Where did she order it from?</div><div>
</div><div>I really like the idea of sites like Weddington Way, where you can have everyone order online/look at the dresses and rate them and all.</div><div>
</div><div>And I'll probably just ask them in person. I have been far away for so long now that I think it would be more meaningful in person than sending a letter because I send letters and little care packages to my closest friends whenever they're going through a tough spot. BUT I love the cute little cards they have now, and there are some cute things, so maybe I'd ask in person and also have a card. :) </div><div>
</div><div>And thanks - losing FMIL was so sad but I did get to meet her and the last time we saw her (at our graduation) she kept calling me her daughter in law, it made me SO happy! :) It makes me kind of frustrated when I see people complaining about their FMILs on these boards... though.. I just happened to have a really spectacular woman as mine. Not everyone is as lucky I guess :)</div>

sarahdactyI · July 2012

Like actually now I'm thinking, I'll have to look up the cutesy quotes they have to ask, probably write it down and tie it to a bottle of wine and bring it to their apartment to drink and celebrate ! Yep. Done!

pisha82 · July 2012

It bothers be too, my FI mom died when he was 10. Odviously I never met her. His dad did remarry and she is awsome. It takes work to have a relationship with your inlaws but you can do it and its worth having a realtionship with them. They are going to be around for a long time and they are important to your FI. Hopefully your FI is doing ok with his loss and you are too. It takes time, but it does get better. My FI still isnt totally over lossing his mom. What are you doing for her at the wedding? We are doing a memorial candle and a poem in the programs. His dad also just gave my FI her car, he are fixing it up and are going to drive in it away from the Church to the reception. FI is a car guy.

Happy thoughts- I love your idea of the bottle of wine and going to ask them in person! Very cute! I think doing something like that is more meaningful. Plus you get to have a glass of wine and see your friends! There are so many cute things you can do! I love cute ways to ask your bridesmaids! I couldnt do anything bc my wedding party assumed they were in it. Its all family so I guess that makes sence, but I really wanted to do something cute, but didnt get a chance too. They were already planning dresses, showers, bacholorette, ect. It was two days after we got engaged and they were already sending me things and over here planning! Idk how is more excitted over my wedding me or my bridal party!

sarahdactyI · July 2012

What we're doing for her at the wedding - I'm not sure yet. It's a while aways so I'm going to wait and when it gets closer, talk with FI and his older sisters (he has 2 sisters, and 2 much younger, adopted half sisters because his parents divorced and remarried) about what they want to do to remember her. I think it will probably be something more private because I don't want to make us sad. But it's all so fresh now that anything seems sad to me! I'm hoping that there is something of his mom's that either he can have, or I could have in my bouquet. From what i've seen with other members of my family, the loss of a parent just isn't something that ever really goes away $:\$ which is what makes it harder for me to deal with, I think. He's doing pretty well, it's good to have work to distract him for the time being...

That kind of sucks that your family all assumed, haha. My friends definitely have assumed I think, but I just tried to politely tell them I can't think about any of it now (and they totally accepted that answer, what with the bar + FI's mom and all of that). SO hopefully it will be a surprise when I get to ask them in person.

One awkward thing I noticed was some of my more "fringe" friends with whom I had lost touch got reallllllly friendly and way into asking about wedding stuff when I got engaged. I hadn't planned on asking one girl in particular who really expressed a lot of interest in the wedding, so I tried to just not talk about wedding plans with her too much because I really don't want anyone to get the *wrong* idea. I'm hoping to have a smaller WP, just 3-4 bridesmaids. But we'll see

I was only in one wedding and there were 7 BMs and 2 junior bridesmaids. It was insane. How many are you having??

Shifsgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:3cd36074-af81-4d98-900b-0028e56b7466">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]What we're doing for her at the wedding - I'm not sure yet. It's a while aways so I'm going to wait and when it gets closer, talk with FI and his older sisters (he has 2 sisters, and 2 much younger, adopted half sisters because his parents divorced and remarried) about what they want to do to remember her. I think it will probably be something more private because I don't want to make us sad. But it's all so fresh now that anything seems sad to me! I'm hoping that there is something of his mom's that either he can have, or I could have in my bouquet. From what i've seen with other members of my family, the loss of a parent just isn't something that ever really goes away :\ which is what makes it harder for me to deal with, I think. He's doing pretty well, it's good to have work to distract him for the time being... That kind of sucks that your family all assumed, haha. My friends definitely have assumed I think, but I just tried to politely tell them I can't think about any of it now (and they totally accepted that answer, what with the bar + FI's mom and all of that). SO hopefully it will be a surprise when I get to ask them in person. One awkward thing I noticed was some of my more "fringe" friends with whom I had lost touch got reallllllly friendly and way into asking about wedding stuff when I got engaged. I hadn't planned on asking one girl in particular who really expressed a lot of interest in the wedding, so I tried to just not talk about wedding plans with her too much because I really don't want anyone to get the *wrong* idea. I'm hoping to have a smaller WP,<strong> just 3-4 bridesmaids. But we'll see :) I was only in one wedding and there were 7 BMs and 2 junior bridesmaids. It was insane. How many are you having??</strong>
Posted by sarahdactyI[/QUOTE]

<div>God bless you... I wish I had that small of a bridal party, but will not be going down that way with us, lol... 10 bridesmaids, 2 maids, 2 matrons, 10 grooms men and 4 best men, 4 flower girls, 1 ring bearer, 1 bible bearer, 1 crier and a partridge and a pear tree! LOL</div>

pisha82 · July 2012

We are having 7 each. I have one MOH and 6 bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid. He has his BM, and 6 groomsman, one junior groomsman. And we have 4 ringbearers. No flower girls, only boys. My SIL is pregenant, was hoping for a girl, nope, its a boy! But as long as both mom and baby are healthy its all good. I kinda want to do something special for one of the ringbearers, he will be 9 at our wedding, a little old to be a ringbearer, but too young to be a junior groomsman. So idk, I have time to fiquire it out. Shifsgirl, your bridal party sounds like mine, a lot of people! Makes it crazy but fun at the same time. I wanted a much smaller bridal party, but we have huge families, and everyone in the wedding is family. I couldnt leave anyone out!

Shifsgirl · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:85af1872-63bc-476c-9796-62cc379ce1f8">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are having 7 each. I have one MOH and 6 bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid. He has his BM, and 6 groomsman, one junior groomsman. And we have 4 ringbearers. No flower girls, only boys. My SIL is pregenant, was hoping for a girl, nope, its a boy! But as long as both mom and baby are healthy its all good. I kinda want to do something special for one of the ringbearers, he will be 9 at our wedding, a little old to be a ringbearer, but too young to be a junior groomsman. So idk, I have time to fiquire it out. Shifsgirl, your bridal party sounds like mine, a lot of people! Makes it crazy but fun at the same time. I wanted a much smaller bridal party, but we have huge families, and everyone in the wedding is family. I couldnt leave anyone out!
Posted by pisha82[/QUOTE]

<div>I know what you mean!!!! The majority of the BP is family and all others are extreme best friends!!!! Couldn't possibly leave them out!!! Maybe your nine year old could be the crier to announce that you are coming. Some criers don't talk, they carry signs that say "You're bride is coming and then at the end of the ceremony, they turn the sign over to say "They lived happily ever after" just something for you to think about, since he's not old enough to be a junior groomsmen, but too big to be a ring bearer</div>

pisha82 · July 2012

Thats a cute idea. I didnt think of that. Ill have to see if the Church will allow that. Catholic Church, they have a lot of rules. I feel like he is going to end up babysitting the little kids. My nephews will be 5 and 3 and 14 months. Everyone will look at how cute the little kids are and he is just going to be there. You know what I mean? I was thinking of having him bring the gifts to the alter, it would be very ironic bc I helped him with his first communion.
I get how you cant leave anyone out with your bridal party. I feel the same way! But we couldnt have it any other way!

zizibet · July 2012

Didn't really find anything at the Maggie Sottero show. This collection doesn't have many ballgowns and i didn't like the ones they did have. Trumpets and fit-n-flares are not good looks for me. I'll keep looking.

pisha82 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_november-2013-weddings_too-early-to-plan?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:cd1f7f85-cf50-4bfe-9bfc-0a3b46d68364Discussion:5eeeb157-cfb8-4a52-bb4e-5cf48525119ePost:7eada0b6-b7f1-45b0-b3b1-f6319febf575">Re: Too Early to Plan?</a>:
[QUOTE]Didn't really find anything at the Maggie Sottero show. This collection doesn't have many ballgowns and i didn't like the ones they did have. Trumpets and fit-n-flares are not good looks for me. I'll keep looking.
Posted by zizibet[/QUOTE]
Oh no!!! Atleast we have time! I love ball gowns, makes you feel like a princess! I didnt get a ball gown. There are so many trunk shows im sure you will find something. Keep us updated! Send us pics when u get it!

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