More help please ladies!

missjets · April 2011

Wiwi,

I think your comment was taken out of context. I know you dont think of the knotties here as freaks, I took your comment as light hearted. I think maybe because this thread was so defensive maybe people didnt see the scarcasm in the type.

Hosting a meet and greet (with a price listed for guests) that allows them to choose if they want to attend and inviting guests to a dinner after the wedding ceremony and expecting them to pay are two totally different things.

Charity

wiwicaty · April 2011

Charity - yes, did I say they were the same? I'm more confused :-/

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

I think I understand what she is saying but it sounds complicated in my head so we will see if I can make this short

OP wanted to have guests pay for Dinner, and send out invites for it ceremony only

Charity said its not a good idea to have guests pay to something they are invited to, and her example was us telling her its not okay to have an invite for a meet and greet that is not hosted.

Wiwi said its okay to not host M&G

I said its okay to not host M&G as long as there are no invites printed for them, or Aegrish suggestion of having the price printed on the welcome brochure.

Dont know if I missed something or I could be totally wrong!!

missjets · April 2011

Wiwi, LOL Shannyn is right you never said they were the same. I just took the thread off topic when I made the comparison. Anyways, I looked back to the thread I posted months ago and you guys did give great advice without saying a no host M&G is a no no. I dont know where I got the idea that it was a faux pas...probably something to do with it being in writing.

Charity

BreannaNicole · April 2011

and BTW I'm not registered so no, I dont want gifts only. I choose to not have an actual "reception" in Vegas, but back home where more family/friends can join. Which we are hosting... Having the no-host dinner after the ceremony isn't the reception. It's more of a get together for everyone. Didn't see the point in paying for people to eat twice.

I just feel that because I'm going to someone's wedding, doesn't mean they have to feed me. I made the choice to go to the wedding because I want to witness a special moment in their lives, not to get free food. But I guess I'm kind of different. I dont play tit-for-tat with friends/family. "Oh I went to your wedding so you have to feed me" "I went to your kids birthday party so you have to go to my kids." Get serious. That is very jr high/high school thinking. I don't care if it's "wrong/right" to anyone else because the only people that matter are my friends/family/etc.

smokeybailey · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:b5250e5f-3c68-4c64-a84a-eccc7c8c4018">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]and BTW I'm not registered so no, I dont want gifts only. I choose to not have an actual "reception" in Vegas, but back home where more family/friends can join. Which we are hosting... Having the no-host dinner after the ceremony isn't the reception. It's more of a get together for everyone. Didn't see the point in paying for people to eat twice. I just feel that because I'm going to someone's wedding, doesn't mean they have to feed me. I made the choice to go to the wedding because I want to witness a special moment in their lives, not to get free food. But I guess I'm kind of different. I dont play tit-for-tat with friends/family. "Oh I went to your wedding so you have to feed me" "I went to your kids birthday party so you have to go to my kids." Get serious. That is very jr high/high school thinking. I don't care if it's "wrong/right" to anyone else because the only people that matter are my friends/family/etc.
Posted by BreannaNicole[/QUOTE]

It's not childlike; it's good etiquette. That's all. You also don't have to say thank you or please or stand up for an older person on the bus. Yet it's the right thing to do.

I will never understand why bother with a DW if you are just going to have a full blown reception at home. Just get married at home and allow all those people that want to witness that special moment in your lives who can't afford the trip to witness.

I must stop coming in this thread.

wiwicaty · April 2011

You can be rude any day of your life, you can certainly be rude on your wedding day. But keep in mind you're being rude to people who love you. There's nothing progressive or forward-thinking about lack of sentiment. People are showing ou how much they love you by travelling to be at your wedding, if you had the same sentiment in you you'd want to reciprocate that.

I don't think anyone coming to our wedding on the other side of the country is doing it to score a free meal. I would be insulting them if I thought that were.

LilMissScareAll · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:305eff00-aee5-4181-a537-cfcb370e90a7">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]You can be rude any day of your life, you can certainly be rude on your wedding day. But keep in mind you're being rude to people who love you. There's nothing progressive or forward-thinking about lack of sentiment. People are showing ou how much they love you by travelling to be at your wedding, if you had the same sentiment in you you'd want to reciprocate that. I don't think anyone coming to our wedding on the other side of the country is doing it to score a free meal. I would be insulting them if I thought that were.
Posted by wiwicaty[/QUOTE]

I agree, I don't think the travel costs + time off comes close to what I'm paying for their meal. If they were in it for a free meal, they should definatly recheck thier math.

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:b5250e5f-3c68-4c64-a84a-eccc7c8c4018">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]and BTW I'm not registered so no, I dont want gifts only. I choose to not have an actual "reception" in Vegas, but back home where more family/friends can join. Which we are hosting... Having the no-host dinner after the ceremony isn't the reception. It's more of a get together for everyone. Didn't see the point in paying for people to eat twice. I just feel that because I'm going to someone's wedding, doesn't mean they have to feed me. I made the choice to go to the wedding because I want to witness a special moment in their lives, not to get free food. But I guess I'm kind of different. Idont play tit-for-tat with friends/family. "Oh I went to your wedding so you have to feed me" "I went to your kids birthday party so you have to go to my kids." Get serious. That is very jr high/high school thinking. I don't care if it's "wrong/right" to anyone else because the only people that matter are my friends/family/etc.
Posted by BreannaNicole[/QUOTE]

SO many things wrong with this.

1. By not registering, it looks like you just want cash.Whether you want it or not, some people will buy gifts, with no registry it looks like you want cash and some people are uncomfortable with that, so they will get you something random. Good luck with that.

2. You don't have to pay for people to eat twice. An at home reception is never needed, it is wanted. You invite everyone that is invited to the at home party to Vegas (which I have a feeling you are not) and you host the people that show. If you still want the party after, you do a nice BBQ or something like that. No first dances, no cake cutting, no toasts, no bouquet toss, you have already been married at that point, there is no use for this stuff. Also, the "get together" after your wedding is your reception, the party back home is just a party.

3. No one said anyone EXPECTS that you should be fed, but YOU as the bride should WANT to thank your guests for making the trip, spending money, time and vacation on you. The least you can do is pay for them to eat and enjoy their time. You are making yourself look ungrateful by them doing so much for you, and you doing nothing in return. This does not mean "tit for tat" this makes you look selfish.

4. Of course you don't care if it is right or wrong, it is all about you right? You are the one that looks a little jr.high to me. You expect everyone to do something for you, but you give nothing in return.

5. Not that this is going to make you think twice, but I do really think you need to re-evaluate your wedding plans. Us girls on here are not here to be bitches, we are here to get help and give advice of our own. Just because you want to do something does not mean it is right, and you are doing something that you know is rude and wrong, but you do not care. I think you need to get serious and start thinking about someone other than yourself.

*edited spelling

direy25 · April 2011

Wow, it's been awhile since I've seen a thread on this board reach 100 posts.

I have nothing to add on this subject as smokey & shannyn pretty much covered it.

LilMissScareAll · April 2011

Shannyn- I

u

ahhhitsshannyn · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_please-ladies?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:998584e8-1ca6-4bce-b8ad-7a0906fdc241Post:977af882-f603-4a10-a842-23c5663ebc01">Re: More help please ladies!</a>:
[QUOTE]Shannyn- I <3 u
Posted by LilMissScareAll[/QUOTE]

Why thank you!! I heart you too! Have fun in Vegas!!! :)

More help please ladies!

Re: More help please ladies!

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