Wedding Party Dilemma

Re: Wedding Party Dilemma

• mags0607

  

  April 2010

  I agree with Emily that if you really feel that you want to include her - Ask her. Just make sure that you stress the fact that you have been thinking about this for a while, and this is not prompted by the fact that she asked you to be MOH. Just tell her that you made rash decisions, that you were worried about even sides, and that you genuinely want her to be up there with you.
  
  Honestly, of course I would want to be asked the second the bride decides who is in her WP. But, if I am not a replacement BM, and my friend explains she made a mistake that she wants to right because she values my friendship and loves me, I would say yes. I think that not righting the mistake, and leaving her out of the WP when it seems you genuinely want to have her stand with you is far worse than asking her to be a BM later than everyone else.
  
  Of course, she might say no, so always be prepared for that, incase she does not feel comfortable being in your WP so close to the date.
  

  

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• mags0607

  

  April 2010

  ps, you are getting married the week before me!

  

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• jonandnicole member

  

  April 2010

  Thanks for all the advice. I'm definitely going to ask her. I wanted to when I initially picked my wedding party, but didn't because of my fiance. Planning a wedding two years in advance is hard. I've changed my mind on a lot of things. Now I know.

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• megk8oz member

  

  April 2010 edited April 2010

  Ditto everybody else. If you really want her there, and it's not just because she just asked you to be in hers, 6 months isn't really "last minute". And don't worry about making the sides even.
  
  A friend of mine got married almost 2 years ago, and I was a BM for her. About 5 months before the wedding, she decided to ask another friend whom she had gotten very close with. That part wasn't a big deal, nobody minded. But then she proceeded to make DH (Who, at the time had only recently become my FI) a GM just so her sides would be even. At the time, we didn't know you couldn't decline a position in a WP, so he accepted, but to this day, we're still annoyed knowing that they only asked him to even up the sides ... and because the bride was hoping I'd "return the favor" and make her a BM in my wedding (Which totally never happened).

  
  If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
  
  
  "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar

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• kevans0604 member

  

  April 2010

  I had a simialr issue, and went back and forth about it. In the end, I decided that I didn't really mind that the wedding party wasn't going to be even numbered. It was more important to me to include the people I wanted.
  
  But I would say that although you are in her wedding, she might not necessarily be expecting to be in hers. Just talk to her about it and see if she would be hurt if she wasn't in it. If it's no big deal, then cool. If it's going to hurt her, I would think about maybe forgetting about numbers and put her in.
  

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