Wedding Planner worries!!

dangrip · May 2011

So, we're six months now from the big date and obviously excited

We both work long and unusual hours so we spent a fair amount of our budget on a Wedding Planner assuming she would take the load off but it doesn't really feel like that, at least not yet.

For example, for catering, in stead of a sit down meal we want food trucks and initially she did give us some referrals in the vein of what we suggested but once she got the initial quotes, she's left it up to us to chase her and them, she hasn't attempted to negotiate with any of the ones we liked who were priced too high, or found alternatives and when we ask her to chase thing will just send us new trucks serving kinds of food we've already told her several times we don't want.

She also suggested that the one place we didn't skimp was on invites when we'd already told her we were only sending them out to appease the mother (we wanted to do an online invite) and got us a quote that amounted to $10 PER INVITE...now, I'm new to this but doesn't that seem excessive? Makes me wonder if she's gettiing a kickback from the vendor.

She put together what was supposed to be a Wedding concept for us but it's basically just cut and paste pictures off the internet of color schemes and things we've already told her we like with next to no creative input

I understand that with some details may just slip her mind and to be fair to her she's a total sweetheart! Gets straight back to emails, listens and tries to take everything on board and her references all seemed good.

I don't really know, this being my first (and only!) attempt at getting married so I was hoping members here could tell me about your experiences with planners and what's reasonable. I particularly miss her paying attention to the details, what we tell her, offering some kind of creative input and being pro active...at the moment it feels like if we don't watch everythign closely it won't get done but I understand that could just be us being an over eager couple

She hasn't prepared a budget...she has given us a timeline to work to which seems reasonable and she has followed up our lighting people and contacts we've given her so far but at the moment I don't feel like she's earning her money.

Opinions?

*Barbie* · May 2011

we got married without a wedding planner (unless you count my MIL, who had her hand in everything - she paid, so no complaints)

it sounds like you are giving her a minimal set of guidelines and you're expecting her to do the rest of the work. I think you need to sit down with her and discuss your expectations and see if that's in the realm of her service offerings. (negotiating with vendors, etc.)

I would think that you and your FI should be dictating the budget - this isn't something that she would provide to you.

MinM · May 2011

I paid someone to help out with vendors (after I had selected them all) because my venue was a PITA. It was so bad, her H, a lawyer, was prepared to help us sue them. She worked frickin' hard for her money and everything went off with a hitch. My SIL was amazed at how relaxed I was that day, because I had the planner to take care of everything. My mother was impressed with her staff and how they snapped into action.

My recommendation: hire my lady.

baconsmom · May 2011

I ditto the suggestion about sitting her down and being excruciatingly clear on what you need from her.

But I have to know: food trucks? How will that work? Will they simply cater the food they make on the trucks, or are you going to make your guests go outside and wait in line at the truck?

loveshine1 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wedding-planner-worries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:f058b1b1-e898-46bd-9a8e-23a5b7f2a9b1Post:872d4df4-f096-4652-8808-e14e18bd9ab9">Re: Wedding Planner worries!!</a>:
[QUOTE] But I have to know: food trucks? How will that work? Will they simply cater the food they make on the trucks, or are you going to make your guests go outside and wait in line at the truck?
Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]
This.

I'm interested to know how it will work. I know that at a black tie wedding, I'd be annoyed if I had to walk outside into the heat, teetering around on high heels in a black dress to stand in a ridiculously long line to get some food.

ShabyKitty · May 2011

Well, it sounds like we have the exact same planner. And we are in the same area, maybe it is the same one?

dangrip · May 2011

ShabyKitty, I'm interested to know if it is the same planner though given the size I've LA I would guess it's not hugely likely. Our woman's first name and her company name both begin with an M.

We've been a lot clearer with her than I'm outlining here, the problem is with the expectations and what is reasonable to expect when hiring a planner, I still would like to hear any more experiences, get some idea how involved your own planner may have been.

As far as the questions about food trucks, the food will be served outside weather permiting but it's an evening Wedding so no sweltering heat, the trucks and carts will be situated in a large sheltered area with heat lamps and furniture. There are going to be plenty of vendors for the guests coming so no long line.

Kristinf81 · May 2011

You are not being overeager; this is your wedding day and it should be exactly how you want it.

I, as well, was super clear on everything I wanted with my wedding (down to every minute detail); and unfortuantely my wedding planner failed miserably at getting the things done.
From talking to other brides, alot of wedding planners seem to be this way. They think they are the expert, so everything they say is right... um, you need to remind her that this is YOUR wedding and YOU are paying HER to do what you ask.

My wedding planner too was very sweet (which made it hard for me to be a Bridezilla when I should have been). Many little details that I had worked so hard on did not get taken care of because she let them fall to the waistside.

I have been married for a month now and still get pretty upset about the lack of planning and execution I had on my wedding because I put all my trust in this one person to get it right. I look back on my wedding day as amazing because of the people who were there and the love my husband and I have together; but I also look back at everything that went wrong at the hands of my planner and it makes me very sad.

I do not want this to happen to you. Please speak your mind and tell her she is not doing what you expect. She is not your friend, she is your employee.
Read the contract you signed with her. If she is not doing what she said she would, demand that she does, or maybe you can get out of the contract. If I would have known what a mess my wedding day was going to be, I would have done anything to find someone new.
Trust your instincts. If she isn't doing a good job now, she might not do a good job on the wedding day.

If you paid for a full out wedding planner (and not just a day of coordinator) then she should really be helping you with nearly every aspect of your wedding AND making your life more easy and stressfree.

I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but I know from experience how heartbreaking it can be to put your heart and soul into planning this special day (and a ton of money) and things don't go as planned.
No matter what, things won't be perfect. But the wedding planner should not make things worse!

I wish the best of luck!

Wedding Planner worries!!

Re: Wedding Planner worries!!

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