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Wishing one thing went smoothly...

jmkaiserjmkaiser member
100 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
So my RSVPs are due next week Wednesday....no one from my dad's side of the family has responded yet. It only makes me nervous because there is some drama there and I know it would kiill my dad if none of them showed up. They have had a month to respond and not one has.

My FMIL told us Sunday that she won't come to the wedding if her father's uncles and aunts weren't invited (reminder: RSVPs due next week). She proceeded to call my mom and tell her how uncooperative I'm being. We currently are not on speaking terms.

We have had nothing but stress with this wedding and I think I've reached my point of exhaustion. My VERY CATHOLIC mom yesterday even told me that if we decided to elope she would understand...that's how bad it is.
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Re: Wishing one thing went smoothly...

  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry that people are making things so hard for you. It's sad how weddings often bring out the worst in relatives, demanding invitations for people and forcing their opinions on people. If you are paying for your own stuff, then she is being totally unreasonable.

    I guess your only option is to call people and ask if they are coming, as much as it sucks. And remember that in the end, it is about you and your husband making vows. If the other people are too stupid to see it, then they can just sit and regret their mistakes. I hope that you wil be able to get a little peace with this. Hang in there!
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    What did your Mom say to your FMIL when she called to have a temper tantrum? 
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  • jmkaiserjmkaiser member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My mom told her that it wasn't up to her and that she needed to give us space. FMIL told her that gramdma was crying her eyes out and the poeple already had tickets booked. FI called his grandma to talk to her and she said she completely understands and doesn't think they'll come anyways--which means she completely lied to my mom.

    My mom and dad already think the guestlist is out of control but have consistently said it's our day. I actually don't like the guestlist either but I've given in to her to keep the peace. THis one crossed the line with me.

    I've just never felt this out of control about something that was supposed to be some simple. The day has turned into a circus and we're just along for the ride instead of how it's supposed to be.

    Thanks for letting me vent. It's been a long week:)
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  • wittyschaffywittyschaffy member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh gosh, what a piece of work that one is.  and I thought I had a wacky mother in law!

    I think that your FI needs to talk to her and start using the phrase "I'm sorry, but no" I obviously don't know her, or you, but I would suspect that this is just an ploy for attention.  Right now she has the power to create drama because you're letting her. If you ignore it or shut down the opportunity for her to create it, she'll have no choice but to stop eventually because it isn't getting a reaction anymore.  Call her bluff. 

    As for the others, start calling folks to remind them about the looming RSVP date.  I swear that weddings, funerals, and births bring out the absolute best and the absolute worst in people! 

    Keep your chin up, plan the day that YOU and your FI want, and try to shut out the rest of the crap.  Believe me, I know it is tough because I've so been there!  Eye on the prize - at the end of the day you'll be married to the person you've wanted to be with and that is all that matters.
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