Snarky Brides

Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now

Ok, so since my vent post a few days ago, I'm finally getting into the wedding planning and started getting excited about it. (Got the bridesmaid dresses today and I must say, they are supoib). But man, with his parents, I can't help but be amused by all this.

FI's dad calls him up on Monday night and asks him if he had talked to my parents about moving the wedding date to May. FI says no, it's going on as scheduled. Period. (He even wants to address the STD envelopes, so he's getting into it as well). Well commence the whining and complaining and FI doesn't back down, so his dad tries another tactic.

FI's dad says "well how do you feel about Northern California? Do you like Redwoods?" FI says "sure, I guess". FI's dad goes "Well, I was thinking that you, me and you mom can go and take a family vacation up to Northern California to see the Redwoods around October 5th."

Hello, that's 3 days after we get married! And to top it off, that's the preliminary date because FI's mom is planning on going on that Jerusalem Tour with her church in October but she "doesn't know if it's in the beginning of October or in the middle of October". So essentially, they're trying to force our hand to change the date by scheduling vacations either during the wedding or immediately after the wedding. Even FI is exasperated by all this and told his dad that he doesn't want to go to Northern California with them.

As for the Tour with the church, if it happened to fall on our wedding day and she brings it up like "well it looks like you'll have to change it", I'm not going to be falling into that trap. I'm just going to say "so sorry you'll miss the wedding, at least we'll know what your priorities are and it obviously doesn't include your son".

I'm just finding this so amusing how they're trying to manipulate us into changing the date...it's not working though, especially when they receive the STD in the mail, cementing the fact that we're not changing it.

Re: Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now

  • Um.. I didn't read the entire backstory on your situation, but.. congratulations?  Gold star for you?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_oh-lordy-this-becoming-amusing-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c8be82af-f1f2-4d94-af0c-3b0359b1f19dPost:0b93d301-a44f-4593-9782-e1b210d51bce">Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, so since my vent post a few days ago, I'm finally getting into the wedding planning and started getting excited about it. (Got the bridesmaid dresses today and I must say, they are supoib). But man, with his parents, I can't help but be amused by all this. FI's dad calls him up on Monday night and asks him if he had talked to my parents about moving the wedding date to May. FI says no, it's going on as scheduled. Period. (He even wants to address the STD envelopes, so he's getting into it as well). Well commence the whining and complaining and FI doesn't back down, so his dad tries another tactic. FI's dad says "well how do you feel about Northern California? Do you like Redwoods?" FI says "sure, I guess". FI's dad goes "Well, I was thinking that you, me and you mom can go and take a family vacation up to Northern California to see the Redwoods around October 5th." Hello, that's 3 days after we get married! And to top it off, that's the preliminary date because FI's mom is planning on going on that Jerusalem Tour with her church in October but she "doesn't know if it's in the beginning of October or in the middle of October". So essentially, they're trying to force our hand to change the date by scheduling vacations either during the wedding or immediately after the wedding. Even FI is exasperated by all this and told his dad that he doesn't want to go to Northern California with them. As for the Tour with the church, if it happened to fall on our wedding day and she brings it up like "well it looks like you'll have to change it", I'm not going to be falling into that trap. I'm just going to say "so sorry you'll miss the wedding, at least we'll know what your priorities are and it obviously doesn't include your son". I'm just finding this so amusing how they're trying to manipulate us into changing the date...it's not working though, especially when they receive the STD in the mail, cementing the fact that we're not changing it.
    Posted by a-bride-to-be![/QUOTE]
    Controlling parents on both sides.  I don't envy you.  Why did you decide against eloping, again?
    Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
    http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
    image
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • It amazes and saddens me how sucky some people's parents are judging by the stories that get posted here. I'm so happy my parents and in-laws are good people.

    Hopefully your FI's parents will get a clue.
  • No thanks. I don't need a gold star. But a gold star for you for attempting absolutely nothing.

    And Tide..believe me I wanted to elope but I compromised with the FI because he wanted to get married in a small ceremony and the monster took hold. Oh well...it's just a day and we can quickly forget about it soon after.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_oh-lordy-this-becoming-amusing-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c8be82af-f1f2-4d94-af0c-3b0359b1f19dPost:b56c0c6b-ecaa-4a1d-87d4-24cf8ea17ea3">Re: Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>No thanks. I don't need a gold star. But a gold star for you for attempting absolutely nothing.</strong> And Tide..believe me I wanted to elope but I compromised with the FI because he wanted to get married in a small ceremony and the monster took hold. Oh well...it's just a day and we can quickly forget about it soon after.
    Posted by a-bride-to-be![/QUOTE]

    Snort.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_oh-lordy-this-becoming-amusing-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c8be82af-f1f2-4d94-af0c-3b0359b1f19dPost:b56c0c6b-ecaa-4a1d-87d4-24cf8ea17ea3">Re: Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now</a>:
    [QUOTE]No thanks. I don't need a gold star. But a gold star for you for attempting absolutely nothing. And Tide..believe me I wanted to elope but I compromised with the FI because he wanted to get married in a small ceremony and the monster took hold. Oh well...it's just a day and we can quickly forget about it soon after.
    Posted by a-bride-to-be![/QUOTE]

    You plan on quickly forgetting about your wedding after it's over? Nice to see how much it means to you. I'm glad my DH didn't see it as "just a day."
  • So.... you're planning on sending STDs 14 months before your wedding?
    Married 10/2/10
  • your FI's parents suck. that is all. if they don't want to be there, screw them.
    image

    Glenna Harding Photography
  • I seriously think you need to take action to handle all of this bullshit now. It's only going to get worse. You either need to cut them out or establish your independence. Allowing them to further dictate your life now is just going to make things so much worse in the future.
  • Pooh, your sig photo is stunningly beautiful.  Just the whole composition of it, and how happy you both look, I love it.

    /swoon
  • Your FMIL seems pretty excited about this whole Jerusalem/Church adventure, yet is throwing demands around about a holy sacrament (i.e., wedding day - okay, not the day, but the wedding.) Maybe your fI needs to start dropping hints about how he feels God has spoken to y'all regarding the date, and he would hate for her to get struck down by lightning at the Wailing Wall.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I had the same issue, except it was with MY parents.  They didn't like the venue we chose (btw: they're not contrinbuting a red cent!).  So my mom started with her antics...

    "it looks like an unfinshed wharehouse"...yes mom, it has exposed brick and beams...people pay a fortune for that look. 

    "I felt like I was gonna drive into the water"...well mom, it IS at the end of a f*cking PIER! 

    "MY friends aren't gonna like it here"...well, that's what an invitation is for, you don't think you're gonna' have fun...DON'T COME!. 

    "I know I will not enjoy myself if you have the reception there"...WELL, you too will get an invite...DON'T COME if you feel that strongly about it. 

    The last straw was when my dad (who speaks English-when it's convenient for him) pulls FI to the side and starts telling FI that he should really try talking to me and finding a different venue because they really don't approve of the one we chose.  Luckily Brad has a mind of his own, and told him nicely, that if the venue winds up sucking, it will have been our mistake (not theirs) to chose it.  After this I stopped discussing any details. And when asked I just kinda' shrug my shoulders, and say...we haven't really squared that away yet.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • oh, I forgot 1 last thing...after none of the above mentioned tactics worked, my mom presented us with this..."how about I pay for the reception, and you could invite ALL the guests you want?" the catch...she gets to chose the venue.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • edited July 2010
    I kinda get what you're going through - my mom was kinda trying to get me to change my date.

    We wanted to get married in the late fall - my dad is a farmer and we want to get married once harvest is either over or close to over (and that way half our farmer guests will show up too).  So no summer wedding, and definitely no spring wedding.  Winter wedding would be pretty, but you can never really count on there not being a blizzard up in these parts and people getting stranded and such.

    We picked November - but our church is being remodeled and wouldn't be done until February.  So I was looking around for other venues, and found one - but my mom insisted I wait til the church was done.  I asked our pastor when it would be done for sure and he said "Well, it's supposed to be February... but it could be as late as April or May."  I wasn't willing to pick a date and then MAYBE the church would be done.  And I didn't want to wait longer than a year to get married, either.

    Anyway, long story short, I picked the date - my mom got over it, commence planning.  There's always going to be some sort of bump in the road about SOMETHING - you just have to say "Oh, well here's this little issue... ok then!  Moving on."
    panther
  • Your wedding is in a little over 2 months, why are you sending STDs now?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Please dont say supoib again. Ew.
  • You really need to read her prior posts. Both sets of parents are going to be calling all the shots in their lives until they die.
  • Hehe, what is wrong with the word supoib?

    We're way behind on a lot of things and that includes the STDs. My mom still insists on sending them because we have magnets and coasters that she wants people to see/have. I can see them sticking the magnets on the fridge but what they plan to do with the coasters...*shrug*.

    I  really, truly feel from the bottom of my heart that once we move out, we can put an end to alllllllllllllll the B.S that has been going on. We're in the process of escrow still and we're at the mercy of the lender who refuses to sign the documents even though everything is in order. It's far enough away from the parents and they have to go through a gate to get to our place instead of just waltzing up to the door.

    News flash: it IS just a day, and it's something we're not fretting about or even mildly worrying about. It's the marriage itself we're looking forward to. I admit, my choice in words of "forgetting the whole thing" was immaturity on my part and partly due to my tiredness at the time of the post so I apologize. I won't forget the whole thing, but I won't forget the stupidity involved during the entire process, but at least we can take our experience from this and be able to set boundaries.

    As for his parents, yes screw them. I plan on limiting my time with them, they are worthless to him and therefore worthless (and useless) to me.
  • Dude, you'll be sending out the STDs with the invites, pretty much.  I think that's silly.  What's your mom going to do if you don't send them?  Call off the wedding?

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Its basically time for you to send out the invites - that could actually confuse some people if you send out STDs and invites together (which is what you will be doing, only 2 months out)
  • STDs go out this weekend, invites go out 2.5 weeks from now. Like I said a lot of time, I don't care and I'm never going to get this woman when it involves wedding crap. I preferred that $ be saved and just go with the invites, but she's had the STDs for 2 months and they were supposed to go out July 5th but due to the crap his parents pulled, it was delayed. I told her it's too late but she's insisting. Mmm kay, I wash my hands of that. I'm not even addressing anything, it's all on her.
  • Well, I guess if she's going to do all the work and insisting on it, you're probably right that it's better to just let that one go, even if it is really weird and confusing.  Not worth starting WWIII over.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Well, ya if its thats important to her I say just let her do it...
  • Hey so and so, please "save the date", until tomorrow when your invite arrives, if you haven't already made plans for eight weeks from now....

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_oh-lordy-this-becoming-amusing-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c8be82af-f1f2-4d94-af0c-3b0359b1f19dPost:996a26f5-5a50-4cea-a435-409123694ae2">Re: Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hehe, what is wrong with the word supoib? We're way behind on a lot of things and that includes the STDs. My mom still insists on sending them because we have magnets and coasters that she wants people to see/have. I can see them sticking the magnets on the fridge but what they plan to do with the coasters...*shrug*.<strong> I  really, truly feel from the bottom of my heart that once we move out, we can put an end to alllllllllllllll the B.S that has been going on.</strong> We're in the process of escrow still and we're at the mercy of the lender who refuses to sign the documents even though everything is in order. It's far enough away from the parents and they have to go through a gate to get to our place instead of just waltzing up to the door. News flash: it IS just a day, and it's something we're not fretting about or even mildly worrying about. It's the marriage itself we're looking forward to. I admit, my choice in words of "forgetting the whole thing" was immaturity on my part and partly due to my tiredness at the time of the post so I apologize. I won't forget the whole thing, but I won't forget the stupidity involved during the entire process, but at least we can take our experience from this and be able to set boundaries. As for his parents, yes screw them. I plan on limiting my time with them, they are worthless to him and therefore worthless (and useless) to me.
    Posted by a-bride-to-be![/QUOTE]

    Newsflash: Wedding rings aren't infused with magic fairy dust and they don't come with a set of balls.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_oh-lordy-this-becoming-amusing-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c8be82af-f1f2-4d94-af0c-3b0359b1f19dPost:08d7bab0-8404-4d8d-86b4-b9037899760b">Re: Oh Lordy, This is Becoming Amusing Now</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey so and so, please "save the date", until tomorrow when your invite arrives, if you haven't already made plans for eight weeks from now....
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

    My exact thoughts.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • "Newsflash: Wedding rings aren't infused with magic fairy dust and they don't come with a set of balls."

    Newsflash: "One ring to rule them all"....Wow....and all this time I believed that wedding rings can give one the ability to fly, but we are moving in together BEFORE the wedding so I don't think a piece of metal is going to do anything anyways but thanks for the useless fact.

    Once we move out and far enough away from our parents, we'll have the ability to do so much without being under the thumb of the parental units. We already agreed on so many boundaries that we're going to be setting up for our parents, it's all about the moving out part that we can't seem to get at this point.

    As for the STDs, if my mom wants to look foolish, then I'm not stopping her from being foolish. As is, with us being behind schedule, the invites won't be going out until mid-August so they can "savor" the STD...which is pathetic consider all those invited already know the date. I can't change my mom about the STD but I'm sure having a good chuckle over it.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards