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Wedding Etiquette Forum
daffydillie
member
Ugh Engagement drama
So my mom and dad put an engagement announcement in the paper. My parents do not speak at all and literally hate each other. I got the announcement and my mom's announcement has my last name as her maiden name, and my dads has his last name as my last name. To make things worse, my dads family is having an engagement party for FI and I and the invites went out with my dads last name on it and you would have thought the world was ending.
This is insane. I usually just use my middle name to avoid this drama but this is crazy. Neither of them are hosting the wedding but they are already fighting over how the invites are going to be worded. Both want on the invitations, and neither wants the other one on the invite. So crazy.
This is insane. I usually just use my middle name to avoid this drama but this is crazy. Neither of them are hosting the wedding but they are already fighting over how the invites are going to be worded. Both want on the invitations, and neither wants the other one on the invite. So crazy.
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Re: Ugh Engagement drama
[QUOTE]So my mom and dad put an engagement announcement in the paper. My parents do not speak at all and literally hate each other. I got the announcement and <strong>my mom's announcement has my last name as her maiden name</strong>, and my dads has his last name as my last name. To make things worse, my dads family is having an engagement party for FI and I and the invites went out with my dads last name on it and you would have thought the world was ending. This is insane. I usually just use my middle name to avoid this drama but this is crazy. Neither of them are hosting the wedding but they are already fighting over how the invites are going to be worded. Both want on the invitations, and neither wants the other one on the invite. So crazy.
Posted by daffydillie[/QUOTE]
<div>So there were two different engagement announcements in the paper for you and your fi? With two brides names, marrying a guy with the same name? Will people actually realize the announcement with your mom's maiden name is you? I assume that is not YOUR name? That just sounds weird.</div><div>
</div><div>Tell them neither of them will be on the invitation, as neither of them will be hosting the wedding. Problem solved.</div><div>
</div><div>Good luck.</div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Ugh Engagement drama : <strong>So there were two different engagement announcements in the paper for you and your fi? </strong> With two brides names, marrying a guy with the same name? Will people actually realize the announcement with your mom's maiden name is you? I assume that is not YOUR name? That just sounds weird. Tell them neither of them will be on the invitation, as neither of them will be hosting the wedding. Problem solved. Good luck.
Posted by Loopyseven[/QUOTE]
Yup my dads was in the local town paper and my moms was in the city paper. Actually my moms maiden name used to be my last name but it was changed to my fathers name when I was pretty young. So my dads family knows me by his name and my moms family knows me by her name. I didnt even know they were doing it until my friend called me and told me she saw it in the paper.
the plan was my first and middle name and together with their families to avoid all the drama. Its how I have kept the peace with grad announcements and various other parties. And I am taking FIs name to completely cut the head off the beast. I just find it so childish that they are fighting over this now when I am in my late 20s.
Agreed with PP...definitely use "Together with their Families"
most people know me by my middle name because i have gone by that instead of my last name for a long time trying to keep the peace so i think that is just what i am going to do. i may list my parents on my wedding site in one of the blurbs just in case some of the other family members do not realise who I am. I doubt that will be the case but that is the case my dad is trying to make for me to list my first middle momsname dadsname.
Is it possible your mom will calm down or is she the kind that once she makes a declaration it is set in stone?
My mom is a drama queen. So she will do whatever will get her the most attention. If staying home stomping her feet lying and saying she wasnt invited will get her pity she will do that or she will show up at the church wearing white. Who knows how its going to go.
She is currently having a tyraid on Facebook about our wedding website and how it only lists my middle name and FI did not ask her permission before he proposed. I think she needs a bottle of wine.
[QUOTE]More than one bottle. <strong>I would be REALLY public about how she is invited</strong>...maybe an open RSVP area on the website. Sometimes telling people like her they WILL be found out is all you can do. Or elope.
Posted by lauraanne9[/QUOTE]
I think I will do that. I have been posting on her Facebook wall going to dinner/movies and various things because she tells everyone I ignore her. I think people know the gig is up. I am pretty sure she is just going to say I am inviting her so she will pay for my wedding but whatever helps her sleep at night. I am trying really hard to not get upset about this crap, but I will admit its hard. When I graduated from the academy she did not go because she had a dog show and told everyone I only invited her for money. And my high school graduation she told everyone she wasnt invited. Im not going to be able to win.
[QUOTE]You can't fix your broken family. You can take control. This sounds like the perfect situation for a romantic elopement. Tell both your parents that if they don't behave, there will be no wedding for them to host, and you will get married without them. Stick to your guns. Elopements are common in my extended family for just these reasons. No one had ever regretted their elopements, but at least one cousin wished that she had done it instead of putting up with her family's controlling craziness! In your wedding invitations (if there is a wedding) you should use your name that you consider to be your name . My family fought over that one, too. <strong>Order your own invitations, and word them the way you wish. How about this? The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of Bride's Preferred Name and Groom's Full Name Date time Venue City, State
</strong>Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]
Thanks, do you think it would be ok to just use my middle name as I have been?
We are paying for everything ourselves and the rehearsal dinner because of her drama. We do not want to accept anyones help and then have them throw a hissy fit. I feel bad for my dad though, he is really trying to compromise with her but she is like talking to a brick wall.