good morning, (P&)E

sarabellam · February 2010

Brie, I think it's time you start screening your calls. Your wedding is going to be beautiful, everyone (with the possible exception of your mother) will have a great time, and with your busy work schedule, hopefully the next 3 months will fly by.

Brie2010 · February 2010

Thanks, dudes.

Long story short, my dad died when I was young, my sister went off to college and for a long time we had a very Gilmore Girls relationship. Now that I'm getting married, she can't really deal with there being someone else, especially someone else who is the reason for me moving far away from her. She's always been very "my way is right and it's the only option for you," which was fine when I was a kid, but now that we're wedding planning every decision that isn't what she wants is met with such passive aggressiveness it makes me want to hurl. Like, at our cake tasting, she would sit there tapping her fork at the ones she liked giving me this look like, "You have to pick THIS ONE" while saying "It's your decision! It's your wedding!" Also, her job is such that she gets paid to go shopping and get pedicures, so she has unlimited time to obsess over stupid wedding crap and gets mad that I don't too.

My stomach is just in knots right now over stupid shiit. And I hate it.

vallyhoo · February 2010

*stretch*

Good monday morning.

I'll miss you Mandypants.

vallyhoo · February 2010

Awww, Brie, that's a crapton to deal with

Brie2010 · February 2010

Oh, and I do screen my calls. She calls probably 5 or 6 times a week, I only answer 2 or 3 because if I answer any less, she'll make snide comments about how I never answer my phone. I just can't ever win with her.

I really wish she would start dating. Single moms who worry about dating...don't. It will be good for you AND the kid in the long run (provided the guy's not a fuckwit) to not be the 100% focus of your life all the time.

crfische · February 2010

Brie, I can't tell you how much better my mom was after she started dating.

Like night and freaking day.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Shoot, Brie, my mom likes to make up stories about how long it has been since I called her. She leaves snide messages for me on FB saying "Gee, it would be nice if you called!" and tells my grandparents it's been 3 weeks. Um, no, it's been a week since I was very sick and congested (just last week) when I talked to you. STFU. She is remarried, but her second marriage sucks just as much as the first, and she rely's on me to make her feel better. I am not your buddy, I never have been, leave me alone. I can't make you happy you need to do it on your own! GRR.

Huh. Guess I needed to vent a bit there. heh!

I'd probably have gone off on her if it were my mom but that probably won't work for you, eh?

Night_Sprite · February 2010

Brie, can you tell her that you don't want to control things? That is what I ended up saying fairly often, especially towards the end. Do what you want, I have no need to control this. That mostly made people leave me alone.

Brie2010 · February 2010

Yeah, unfortunately my mom is also holding the pursestrings for the wedding. In hindsight, I probably should have turned down the money, but I had no idea she'd go so crazy and it's a little late for that.

It's just maddening--she wants me to independently arrive at the decisions she would make. She doesn't want me saying, "I don't care, you pick" because then, well, I don't care, and she doesn't want me saying, "This is what I want, even if it's not what you like." Yaaack.

My dad's been gone for almost 20 years now and my mom claims that she's already found the love of her life, so why bother dating now. A sweet sentiment, I guess, but I think she would be a great companion for someone and it would take loads of anxiety off my sister and I.

AmoroAgain · February 2010

Maybe for her wedding gift, you could get her a subscription to EHarmony?

mandysmear · February 2010

Sorry to hear all that brie. That's tough. Your wedding will be wonderful!!

Vally, I'll miss you too!

Brie2010 · February 2010

Hahahaha Amoro. I have a feeling she would NOT take kindly to that.

Night, I like that phrase, but the thing is, she WANTS me want to control things. For some fuucked up reason, she wants me to be a TV bridezilla with ideas about how exactly everything at the wedding should be (and that vision should exactly match hers).

I am seriously thinking of just going whole hog this weekend and attempting to get as much wedding crap as I can done--buy the favors, buy my outfits for everything, buy gifts for people. If it's said and done, I don't have the decision-related guilt hanging over my head anymore at least.

Morfudd · February 2010

I'm sorry to hear about the stress, Brie-- at least you seem to have a good understanding of why she's acting like this (beyond her strange desire for you to be a bridezilla, which is just... weird), and you know that not all of her behavior is actually directly *wedding* related, but related to the changes in your relationship with her.

And I think your wedding colors are lovely.

I'm having a lazy morning when I really should be up and working on my loads and loads of work to do before Saturday, when we leave for Montreal for five days. (I'm in denial about how big this assignment I have due Wednesday actually is.) I did just place my order for a shoulder-covering shrug (for the church ceremony) and my veil, so I'm having a bit of post-big-wedding-related anxiety. Oh well.

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