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Homophobic mother, Queer wedding

I'll start off by letting you know that I might not entirely belong here, both my partner and I are queer/ pan-sexual though he mostly identifies male and I mostly identify female so we are technically a heterosexual couple. Both of us are out to our friends and a few open minded family members/ the general public, but are still trying to find the way to come out to our parents (especially as both have problems with polyamory to begin with). My family is very conservative, and although my father is open minded and accepting, my mother is quite homophobic. 

My major concern is that we will be having many friends and family members from the LGBTIQ2TSA2 community at our wedding (actually most of our wedding party),  many of which will of course be attending with their partners (and some of which have actually been disbanded from my mother's social circle by virtue of solely coming out). I will be talking to my mother (with my father in the room to hopefully help explain) about the importance of leaving phobias and isms at home and basically if she is unable too that she should probably just stay with them.... Does anyone have a gentler way of phrasing this or other talking points that should be addressed? Has anyone dealt with similar situations? 

Sorry again if this is not the right place for this... I just wasn't sure where else to ask it. 
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Re: Homophobic mother, Queer wedding

  • K&J64K&J64 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_homophobic-mother-queer-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:44Discussion:ff87ad8f-99cf-42a5-ad1e-35743bf3fd8cPost:144211f3-1711-4a5c-b497-e2ce2f61b3f1">Homophobic mother, Queer wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]the LGBT<strong>IQ2TSA2 </strong>communityPosted by Debbie4020[/QUOTE]

    Pardon my ignorance but you lost me after the T, what's the rest of that stand for?
    I think you can approach it cordially and let her know that these people are important to you and your partner and that it's important that all your guests treat each other with respect and civility at your wedding and that  it means a lot to you to have her there and all your friends. If she seems put off then lead into the who if you can't leave you bias at home don't bother showing up talk.

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  • edited December 2011
    Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Two Spirited, Asexual and Allied (And yes, I do understand that that is a mouthful :P ) 

    And thanks for your idea! I'm really hoping it goes well!  
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  • edited December 2011
    I actually have the same issue. My girlfriend and I are planning a ceremony for Oct of next year. And altho I love my mother and would really be tickled if she could attend, she is very "religious" and believes I am committing the biggest sin. I am 36, in complete love and nothing will keep me' from planning this special day... I'm response to your question, no there isn't a polite or easy way to touch on this subject. At least not for me. It's cut straight to the point. Accept me', my fiancee, my friends.. Or do not come. :( Sorry but I feel like we put up with enough in society. It isn't asking too much to at least have the support of family.
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