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Snarky Brides
Awkward Weddings
So, my BM is currently at her BF's brother's wedding, and she's giving me minute-by-minute updates on the awkwardness of everything.
It's the first time she's met his family. Last night, she told me they were outside of the rehearsal, freezing. There were no booze, since the groom does not drink, BF is a GM, so he couldn't really socialize with her, his nephew started calling her "Diaper Lady," as the family were commenting how lost she looks.
Now, she's getting ready, and the florist brought in a whole box of bouquets. Someone told BM that one is for her. Don't get me wrong, it was really nice, but no one handed her one, so she's just waiting to grab the last bouquet standing.
Anyone else have any awkward wedding stories?
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Re: Awkward Weddings
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1) The house was meant for 50, 75 people max. There were at least 175 there.
2) Cocktail hour started before the ceremony so people were half in the bag by the ceremony. Some one brought a transistor radio to the ceremony to listen to the Yankees game and every one was high fiving each other after big plays. I marched up to them and freaked out about how rude they were being. Yeah, every one acted like I was the one who brought the awkward.
3) This is the bride who asked me not to wear my ering to her engagement party so you can tell there is no love loss there.
4) Absolutely no one danced. This is when the song "move your body like a cyclone" was big. They played it THREE times.
4) Instead of properly busing tables the wait staff literally would walk up to a table and do a 'one arm swoop' to clear it. Glasses were shattering everywhere.
5) Mike's mom ended up smoking a doobie with the MOB. Hey, at least she was effing quiet for the ride home.
RAWR!
They got divorced a year later.
The reception was dry and the cake had a Harley on it. They were divorced within two years.
two years!
after two losses, now happily expecting baby #1 09.16.12
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I haven't really had much awkward wedding moments except for when I only know the bride, not really anyone else and Im just sitting by myself twiddling my thumbs, I left by the time first dance happened, and I dont really like forcing myself onto people and introducing myself lol *shy*
She finally arrives (she was a really bitch, and wanted all the attention to be on her). The ceremony starts, and her family starts loudly talking in Chinese during the the whole thing. If that wasn't bad enough, the servers in the kitchen start throwing pots at each other and yelling at each other.
With all of this going on, you could barely hear the ceremony. The one part we did hear (because she yelled it out) was during the "for richer and for poorer" part. Instead of saying that, she yelled "for richer or for richer".
Most trash-tastic wedding ever.
[QUOTE]I was at a wedding at a Chinese restaurant for my ex's cousin. First the bride kept the groom waiting at the altar for a long time - like 10 minutes. The videographer was crouched in front of us waiting, and he turned to us at one point and asked if we thought he would still get paid if she doecided not to show. She finally arrives (she was a really bitch, and wanted all the attention to be on her). The ceremony starts, and her family starts loudly talking in Chinese during the the whole thing. If that wasn't bad enough, the servers in the kitchen start throwing pots at each other and yelling at each other. With all of this going on, you could barely hear the ceremony. The one part we did hear (because she yelled it out) was during the "for richer and for poorer" part. Instead of saying that, she yelled <strong>"for richer or for richer".</strong> Most trash-tastic wedding ever.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>LOL
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Hey, I may not have the best job now, but at least FI & I don't need matching prescriptions for acne meds in our 30s. She was so miserable, and I am so happy I will never see her again.
A few weeks later, it came out to family, that the bride's father had caught the groom in the bathroom with the MOH, her dress hiked up to her waist on the sink, during the reception. They were separated a little while after, I think. We're pretty sure she demanded to get married so her dad would get to walk her down the aisle before he died, which was shortly after the separation.
The unity candle was pretty prophetic, IMO.
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The second was when I received two wedding invitations to the same wedding. My biological father's nephew was marrying my step-dad's neice. That was awfully weird for me.
[QUOTE]Yeah, then at the reception the bride asked me if the classes I was taking for my second degree would help me with my job as a secretary. I despise the C word, but I really wanted to use it at that point. <strong>Hey, I may not have the best job now, but at least FI & I don't need matching prescriptions for acne meds in our 30s.</strong> She was so miserable, and I am so happy I will never see her again.
Posted by allisong23[/QUOTE]
this was a great burn. golf claps! you'll have to tell us if you ever use that one to her face. ;)
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Awkward Weddings : this was a great burn. golf claps! you'll have to tell us if you ever use that one to her face. ;)
Posted by SarahSmile23[/QUOTE]
I doubt I will see her again, but if I did I would have no qualms about being nasty to her. I had to play nice to her before because her H was my ex's cousin, and close friend. Now that I don't have to worry about that, all bets are off.
She was this incredible attention hoar. When she was pregnant, she spent the entire nine months rubbing her belly so people would remember that was pregnant. Once she had the baby, she wouldn't allow anyone but her mother to watch the baby. Her MIL (who was very nice) barely saw the baby.At family events, her and her mom and the baby would disappear into an upstairs bedroom for hours. She also insisted on getting a Chinese speaking nanny so the baby would learn Chinese as her first language. She and the nanny would talk in Chinese for hours, while her H, who is American, couldn't understand a word so he couldn't participate.
BTW, no offense to anyone that is using acne drugs. She was just so nasty it always gave me a perverse pleasure to see her skin look that bad. Karma's a bitch.
I haven't been to many weddings. The only awkward moment I recall off the top of my head involves my FI. I brought him to the wedding of two college friends and we started talking to an acquaintance of mine and her DH during the cocktail hour. They were engineers or computer programmers or something along those lines and he felt embarrassed that he was "only" a mechanic (I guess he thought they'd look down on him because he didn't go to college). Anyway, when they asked what he did for a living, he told them (with a perfectly straight face) that he was an exotic dancer. In the brief moment before I started laughing hysterically, they just had these uncomfortable smiles on their faces. I elbowed him (laughing) and said, "No you're not!" Then he started laughing, they realized it was a joke and started laughing, and I changed the subject since I could tell he didn't want them to know what he did for a living (although I didn't understand why).
By this time we had already decided that we would leave as soon as the cake was cut (there was no music or dancing, either).
The bride and groom entered, and after they were announced, the bride said "so what do we do now?" There was no where for them to sit, either.
They did the ceremonial cake cutting, but no one came to cut the rest of the cake. I guess it was supposed to be self serve. We waited about 2 minutes and then left. I kind of wanted to take our gift back.
On the way home, I was griping about how disorganized it was and how rude it was that they invited everyone they knew when their fellowship hall could only hold 50 people (there must have been 150 people there). Mr. Heels tried to guilt trip me and give me the whole, "well not everyone is as lucky as us to make a lot of money bla bla bla." You're right. So have a small wedding and don't invite everyone you know just so that you get more presents.
[QUOTE]Okay, so I've been to two awkward weddings. The first was about ten years ago and it was my step-dad's fourth marriage. I can't stand his wife and I had to be one of her bridesmaids along with her two daughters. During the bouquet toss I had to go up there with her daughters and three of my cousins so there were seven of us. I stood way in the back and as soon as she tosses it i try to dodge out of the way and avoid it but it ends up<strong> smacking me in the side of the head with the stem part and I was knocked unconscious</strong>. And "Dad" made me keep the bouquet cause I caught it with my head -_- The second was when I received two wedding invitations to the same wedding. My biological father's nephew was marrying my step-dad's neice. That was awfully weird for me.
Posted by antonia_trevino[/QUOTE]
Seriously, you were knocked unconcious from flowers?