September 2012 Weddings

The oak tree that broke our backs and a relationship (vent sorry if its long)

Well FI let my FFIL (if you been following the tale, this is the man who hates me without a reason) know that we are moving back into the city possibly in a few weeks before the wedding. Well that convo didn't go well at all! FFIL threw as massive oak tree on these camels backs that broke us both down. Said it was all MY FAULT that we are moving, I am leading him down a path of destruction and get this, putting a wedge between him and my FI. I finally for the first time ever heard this out of his mouth (I was on speaker phone and FFIL had no clue I was) and I am completely speechless and want to call off the wedding because of this. Goes on to tell FI I was doing all this to help you out (which we both believe this isnt about FI) and other crap.

Telling my FI he is leaving him high and dry and abandoning him! FI never once got a chance to even tell him that he would still help him from time to time with the businesses and what not but only when we are not busy as a married couple. He never once got to get that out his mouth. So right now we both feel like crap and I already told him I want to call this whole wedding off and just go our own ways because nothing is going to change about the way FFIL feels about me.
 
I know I didn't have a hand in any of the decisions that FI made in regards to the family businesses and it hurts me to the core that FFIL blames me for all of this happening. Havent even taken my high blood pressure pill this morning I feel so sick to my stomach about all of this.

Sorry for the long vent....had to get this out so I can make it the rest of the work day. *sighs*
Anniversary Vacation

Re: The oak tree that broke our backs and a relationship (vent sorry if its long)

  • I'm so sorry to hear this.  I know FFIL has been a huge stress and tension between you two.  What did FI say to you wanting to call the wedding off?  Is that really what you want and will make you happy or is it just what seems easy right now?  You shouldn't sacrifice your happiness with your FI for his father's tantrums.  Don't let him win if you want to marry your FI.  Love never fails, girl.
  • :(   I am so sorry you feel this way.  I would NOT call off the wedding because of FFIL....  what is your FI saying about all this?  Right now you are clearly very upset and emotional (by all rights).  Maybe its time to just take a few days with just you and FI to talk this over, maybe over a nice dinner or something?!
  • FI didn't say anything to make me want to call it off. Its FFIL that is making me want to do this because its been nothing but a living nightmare with him. This man doesn't even know me and FI been together almost TWO YEARS! Nothing in this man's eyes is right when it comes down to me.

    I don't want to call this off for anything and neither does FI. Emotions are running super high for both of us and right now we both just at a stall in the water and wondering what this is going to mean to the both of us. I don't want FI to harbor ill will towards me because of this.

    Anniversary Vacation
  • I would definitely not call it off because of FFIL. If your FI is standing by your side, that's what matters! You're marrying your FI not his family!
  • Sending you some hope. FMIL does not like me. Most days we dont know if she even likes FI. She has not been included in the wedding planning process because she causes us both undue stress and we like to avoid it at all costs.

    Try and just look past it and turn deaf ears to the comments. The day is about you and FI. Dont let FFIL get under your skin. The stress is not healthy.

    xo PM me if you need to chat more in depth.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards