Honeyfund

ricasunga · April 2012

This was posted on the etiquette board but I was curious about how the ladies on this board feel about honeyfund.com. That board always seems to be very one sided with very like minded uber conservative/old fashioned women. This board, I feel, is a little more diverse. If you're not familiar with it, it's a honeymoon registry.

BrittneyRN · April 2012

I'm not big on them. 1. They really are against etiquette. 2. The company doesn't give you all your money, so when people think they're spending $70 on a massage, you're really only get a percentage of it. I would just not register for a lot and people will get the hint. P,an the honeymoon you can afford now, and then maybe later go on a nice vacation with the money you get from the wedding. That's just my opinion. I think a lot of guests will give the side eye to it.

PetalPockets2012 · April 2012

I agree with Brittney.I don't like them and I do find them rude.

larnen · April 2012

Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out.

Actually according to Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute it is totally acceptable to register for a honeymoon: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html

(That article also has some good information on different registry companies)

You might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation. So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you would be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift registry or a honeymoon one.

I've had friends do a honeymoon registry and I actually thought it was pretty neat. I liked thinking that I was paying for them to have a romantic dinner. That made me feel good. I get more offended at people who register for expensive brand name things that they never could afford themselves just because they think they are entitled to it. So, I say, if you want to register for a honeymoon, do it. I really think it's more rude to register for a crap load of crap you don't need and will never use.

BrittneyRN · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:dd15d33c-8ada-4009-94bd-5603dd46d638Post:03f720f9-de54-4e70-b104-0e3235ab376c">Re: Honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out. Actually according to Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute it is totally acceptable to register for a honeymoon: <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html" rel="nofollow">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html</a> (That article also has some good information on different registry companies) You might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation. So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you wo
uld be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could
technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn
right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift
registry or a honeymoon one. I've had friends do a honeymoon registry and I actually thought it was pretty neat. I liked thinking that I was paying for them to
have a romantic dinner. That made me feel good. I get more offended at people who register for expensive brand name things that they never could afford
themselves just because they think they are entitled to it. So, I say, if you want to register for a honeymoon, do it. I really think it's more rude to register for a crap
load of crap you don't need and will never use.
Posted by larnen[/QUOTE]

The probably with honeymoon registries is that you are registering for money, which is rude. Registering for gift cards is also rude. Guests will side eye both of these things.
I wouldn't be personally offended if someone I know had a honeymoon registry but, I wouldn't give towards it and I would find it tacky.

ricasunga · April 2012

In Response to Re:Honeyfund:[QUOTE]Well, my opinion is unpopular around here, but I honestly don't see a problem with them. nbsp;I really don't get why everyone has a massive coronary at the mention of the words "honeymoon registry." nbsp;Honeyfund doesn't take a cut of your fees. nbsp;If you use PayPal, Paypal takes a small processing fee out. nbsp;Actually according to Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute it is totally acceptable to register for a honeymoon: nbsp;<a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.htmlnbsp;nbsp;That" rel="nofollow">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.htmlnbsp;nbsp;That</a> article also has some good information on different registry companiesYou might want to have other registry options in case someone really doesn't feel comfortable with getting you a vacation.nbsp;So yes, people technically are just sending you money which you would be allocating toward your honeymoon, but I don't really see how it is different than any other registry. nbsp;Most people include gift cards on their registries which you could technically turn around and spend it on a new pair of shoes, a new XBOX, a big screen TV. etc. nbsp;Or, I could buy you those plates you've registered for and you can just turn right around and return them for store credit and get whatever you want. nbsp;The thing is, you can't control what someone does with your gift whether it was from a traditional gift registry or a honeymoon one. nbsp;I've had friends do a honeymoon registry and I actually thought it was pretty neat. nbsp;I liked thinking that I was paying for them to have a romantic dinner. nbsp;That made me feel good. nbsp;I get more offended at people who register for expensive brand name things that they never could afford themselves just because they think they are entitled to it. nbsp;So, I say, if you want to register for a honeymoon, do it. nbsp;I really think it's more rude to register for a crap load of crap you don't need and will never use. nbsp; Posted by larnen[/QUOTE]

My opinion seems to be unpopular on here too. But then again, I'm at a sports bar right this moment watching an MMA fight, I'm sure this is not typical for a lot of the brides on here either. But I signed up for honeyfund. My friends have told me that it's a cool idea. We have a friend who did as well. But then again we're in our late 20s. So I think this really depends. We're also from a city. So we think differently from people from let's say, Kansas.

We've been together for 7 yrs and have been living together for 5. We have everything in our apt that we could possibly need. Plus we live in NYC, there isn't space for anything more. That's why I think in this case it's appropriate for us.

But everyone has an opinion about it, and I respect that.

CFM102012 · April 2012

There's no regional or age thing about it. You're asking for money which is rude. If you want money either don't register for anything and have friends and family spread the word by mouth that you're saving for a house, car, a trip next year, whatever. People know that money is always an acceptable gift.

emidle2008 · April 2012

I don't like Honeyfund.com because they take a percentage of the money given to them. I had a friend get married reccently who registered through her cruiseship. I felt alright giving to this becuase it went to them directly and not through a middle man. FI and I are looking into a Sandals resort for HM in December. So we might set up a registry with them as a Christmas gift option for our families.

ricasunga · April 2012

In Response to Re:Honeyfund:[QUOTE]There's no regional or age thing about it. You're asking for money which is rude. nbsp;If you want money either don't register for anything and have friends and family spread the word by mouth that you're saving for a house, car, a trip next year, whatever. nbsp;People know that money is always an acceptable gift. Posted by CFM102012[/QUOTE] <div>
</div><div>Etiquette is definetely regional as well as cultural. Many Asian cultures, cash is THE gift, not appliances, towels, dishes or anything you can register for. Plus asking for a gift, asking for cash... there is no difference in my eyes, like larnen said above. Especially since any regular gift will be useless to me. If you've ever been in a Manhattan apartment you will understand, there is literally no space for anything else. I have half a counter space in my kitchen.</div><div>
</div><div>But since everyone's reaction is mostly negative, I will definitely take that into account and rethink this whole thing.</div>

CFM102012 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:dd15d33c-8ada-4009-94bd-5603dd46d638Post:32e6d9c3-1966-4be0-b591-2251e5d6e9ae">Re:Honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeyfund: But you are assuming that is the case for all cultures. In many Asian cultures, like mine, money/cash is a typical present for any occasion.
Posted by ricasunga[/QUOTE]

<div>It's fine to give money. It's just rude to ask for it. Everyone knows that you would love to get cash. Unless you're rich, we could all use some extra. But to say "hey we don't need anything just give us some money" is rude. It's disguised as a gift for some special treat for your honeymoon but that's all a honeymoon registry is, it's asking for money. The deceit adds an extra layer of tacky. If you don't want/need any traditional wedding gifts either don't register or have a very small traditional registry. People will get the hint that you would prefer cash and if they don't they'll ask. Then you can tell them you're saving up for x,y or z.</div><div> I, luckily, haven't had anyone I know register for a honeymoon, but if I did, I'd either get them something else I picked out or only give them a card, depending on how close I was to the person.</div>

ricasunga · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:dd15d33c-8ada-4009-94bd-5603dd46d638Post:1b988910-a413-45f9-9fca-dd1824b7eca1">Re:Honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeyfund : It's fine to give money. It's just rude to ask for it. Everyone knows that you would love to get cash. Unless you're rich, we could all use some extra. But to say "hey we don't need anything just give us some money" is rude. It's disguised as a gift for some special treat for your honeymoon but that's all a honeymoon registry is, it's asking for money. The deceit adds an extra layer of tacky. If you don't want/need any traditional wedding gifts either don't register or have a very small traditional registry. People will get the hint that you would prefer cash and if they don't they'll ask. Then you can tell them you're saving up for x,y or z. I, luckily, haven't had anyone I know register for a honeymoon, but if I did, I'd either get them something else I picked out or only give them a card, depending on how close I was to the person.
Posted by CFM102012[/QUOTE]

<div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Deceit??!! Jesus, it's just a honeymoon registry.. I'm not trying to steal someone's husband! If this was so bad, why is it in every bridal magazine and blog, including this one that we're on? That's where I heard it from the first place, The Knot.</div></div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">But you are starting to sound like my aunties. I feel like that's something they would say, "she's very deceiving". They can be very judgemental. I do not want to deal with that sh*t so maybe I just won't have a registry at all. Keep it simple and drama free.</div>

CFM102012 · April 2012

It's deceit because they think they're giving you a snorkeling excursion but you're really just getting a check. Usually its not even the full amount that the person gave. Its in the bridal mags and on the knot because its wedding related and above all else, the wedding industry is about making money off people during one of the biggest events in their (or their loved one's) life.

I'm not saying you're deceitful, the honeymoon registry is. I'm sorry if it came off that way.

ricasunga · April 2012

No, but you're right.. people do think that way. And that's something I need to account for.

nychica636 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:dd15d33c-8ada-4009-94bd-5603dd46d638Post:adf45864-29ab-4252-a5ed-5c2f25d26d71">Re:Honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Honeyfund : Deceit??!! Jesus, it's just a honeymoon registry.. I'm not trying to steal someone's husband! If this was so bad, why is it in every bridal magazine and blog, including this one that we're on? That's where I heard it from the first place, The Knot. But you are starting to sound like my aunties. I feel like that's something they would say, "she's very deceiving". They can be very judgemental. I do not want to deal with that sh*t so maybe I just won't have a registry at all. Keep it simple and drama free.
Posted by ricasunga[/QUOTE]

I didn't know they existed until I received a separate card in my friends wedding invitation with all of her registry info. My first reaction was like, "what the hell is this" and I didn't even look at it. I'm no etiquette guru but I did feel offended she was asking for money for her HM plans. Usually, I give a gift off of traditional registries for the bridal shower and a cash gift for the wedding.

Perhaps as the younger generation gets older, this will become more accepted as things do change and evolve over time.

Simply_Caitlin · April 2012

I had someone close to me do a wedding registry. I loved the idea. It was so cool to me that I could buy them a bottle of champagne in their room when they got to the hotel and tickets to see Wayne Brady.

That being said, if you don't intent to use the money for the things you're listing, don't do it. If you put "Wayne Brady tickets", use that money to buy the tickets. I got a great thank you card stating something like "We really appreciated the champagne toast when we got to our room and I can't wait to tell you about the show. Wayne was great!" I felt good that I could give them that experience, rather than a toaster. So I'm happily in the minority here.

*Edit: Since most people seem to be against it, have a standard registry too. People can decide for themselves which one they want to purchase off of.

BrittneyRN · April 2012

CFM is right. There are a lot of suggestions on the knot and other places that are against etiquette. Thats because they're trying to make money. We can't tell you what to do, but it is rude and tacky to register for money.

trawas01 · April 2012

So I'm also on the other side, I don't find it that bothersome.

I've been to 3 bridal showers that included it. The first two it was done extremely well. Both couples had a honeymoon fund as well as a small traditional registry. Both of these couples had lived together for some time, we're older, and in no need of a million home goods. I wasn't put off by it in the least.

The third one wrote a note in their bridal shower invite asking everyone for checks to cover their honeymoon. This was too much for me and it definitely rubbed me the wrong way.

Due to this I feel like a honeymoon registry can be really well done or really poorly done.

If you want one, do so with a legitimate site so a link can be provided to guests. Also consider a small traditional registry for guests who are more comfortable with it. Also poke around for sites. If you know where you're going on your honeymoon some all inclusive sights will include this for no fee/percentage of the gifts given (Disney and I think Sandals resorts are the ones that come to mind).

And as far as etiquette questions, people do get uptight about them. But I think we also need to remember that people to the Oct 12 board come from all cultures, backgrounds, countries ect. "Correct" etiquette is never a one size fits all.

ricasunga · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:dd15d33c-8ada-4009-94bd-5603dd46d638Post:2adbb7ba-b885-46b8-b9a3-fe538cf1b250">Re: Honeyfund</a>:
[QUOTE]And as far as etiquette questions, people do get uptight about them. But I think we also need to remember that people to the Oct 12 board come from all cultures, backgrounds, countries ect. "Correct" etiquette is never a one size fits all.
Posted by trawas01[/QUOTE]

<div>Well said lady!!</div>

Lang125 · April 2012

I had never heard of honeymoon registries until my FI's cousin got married last October. They went to Africa and had a honeymoon registry which included a snorkeling expedition, romantic dinner, safaris, etc. Not once did I think they were being money hungry - because that is just not like them. I thought it was a cool idea - and we ended up getting them a trip to the elephant zoo to see the elephants (babies, too!). When we got our thank you, they wrote a special note in detail all about the elephant zoo and their fun experience. This made us feel great to contribute to a memory they will have for a lifetime. Everyone is different, but I think a honeymoon registry such as this is a cool concept.

mrshall1027 · April 2012

I also don't think it's that big of a deal. A few of our friends did one for their honeymoons and they all actually used the money for their honeymoons. We are going to do a honeymoon registry and we would never use the money for anything else. We have our own home, we have everything that we need, and anything that we would want would be more expensive items that we wouldn't feel comfortable registering for. In our group of friends and family, no one thinks it's a bad idea or rude. If you would like to do one, I would suggest mentioning it to a couple of different freinds or family members to see how they feel about it. Decide based on their reactions if you should do one or not.

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