Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???

LindseyandMarc · August 2010

This was so important to me, just curious anyone elses look on it.

clarereedy · August 2010

My FI asked my dad last year when the four of us (me, FI, my mom and dad) went to Aruba. My mom and I went shopping, my dad and FI spent the day together at the pool then went to the bar across from the hotel. FI asked dad there....and my dad bought him a shirt from there so he'll always remember the conversation.

tanyavreeland · August 2010

yes my fiance did this was important to me too! and i didnt even tell him to do it

mbcdefg · August 2010

Nope.

Laurms15 · August 2010

Not so much for "permission" but more for their blessing. DH is traditional and so am I and I just think its a polite formality. My parents knew it was coming and we were moving in together and we weren't engaged (strict Italian family) and he wanted them to know that he had the ring and he had a plan he just had to wait a couple months until he could put the plan into action (proposal depended on me working w/ my students so he had to wait until our show started)

littledaisies · August 2010

No he didn't and I told him he didn't have to. My dad has no clue about traditions and I wanted it to be a surprise to everyone.

smw42 · August 2010

It was important to both of us and he asked them the night before by taking them out to a nice steakhouse.

jrgoogrl · August 2010

Nope.

lmary0504 · August 2010

no and then got scared to see him for a few days haha
but he did show my mom the ring and she knew but didnt know when it was going to happen

demarcosjd · August 2010

No, he asked my Mom instead.

grace_ann · August 2010

yup he went over my parents while I was out with the girls - my parents thought it was very nice of him

mrs.spunky1508 · August 2010

Yes he did. Then my dad made him ask my mom too. LOL DH is still annoyed at that.

dmoney79 · August 2010

mh asked....
one night we were out to dinner just randomly talking about things, and we'd talked about getting married eventually, and it came up in conversation....it meant a lot to me and my dad if he would ask...he said then that if he was ever going to propose, he was planning on asking my dad first...
my dad was the only one that knew (not even his own parents) and so i didn't call to tell them until the next day and my dad said he was going crazy the night before because he knew when it was going to happen and was waiting by the phone, and couldn't tell my mom!
when i did tell my mom (i told them seperately, they were at work) she was like "your dad knew! i'm going to yell at him!"

so, point is, yes, he did ask...and it meant a lot to dad and i that he did....

Shand18 · August 2010

Yup. He set up a lunch for the two of the during the week when I wouldn't have suspected a thing, and then my dad had to keep it a secret for nearly two months, which he said was really hard to do.

Lola Minnie · August 2010

Yes, they get along very well. My DH has similar qualities to my father.

peaches85 · August 2010

Yes, he asked my dad.

ffbride_0813 · August 2010

No but I told him he had to ask my mom. Then we went there for dinner one day and I told her that I told him he had to ask her. She told us both that she didnt want to know becuase she cant keep a secret and she would tell me. She said he had her permission but could he at least get on with it because she wants grandkids. I think it took a year after that.

Heather822 · August 2010

No ~ definitely not....
And my parents even told him awhile before never to ask them, that they wanted to experience the thrill & surprise with me.
Not only is my mom horrible at keeping surprises a secret, but we all thing this tradition is a little outdated & unnecessary ~ no offense to anyone this was important to.

AnnPH424 · August 2010

Yes, and then he waited six weeks to propose!!!! Now I realize everytime they saw us they would get all excited and then kind of walk away. My poor mother didn't think it would ever happen!

kasabby · August 2010

Yes, he did. It was actually kind of funny. He called my dad and told my dad that he was calling to let him know that he wanted to marry me and wanted to make sure that was okay and my dad said he had to call him back! I think that is hysterical! I think my dad was in shock. He did apologize to FI. He said it was weird and obviously he had never done this before and I was his little girl and it is always hard. He of course then gave us his blessing!

CrysMarie12 · August 2010

Yes, he asked my dad. We went to my parents house for dinner and the two of them went to watch tv together while my mom and I cleaned up. I had no idea what he was up to. : )

JandP51212 · August 2010

@LindseyandMarc i second that. My FI knew early on the he had to ask my dad. It wasn't even an option. I'm dady's little girl and I know my dad would be hurt if my FI didn't ask. My sister eloped and my dad was PISSSSEEEDD at my BIL so my FI knew what he had to do. He only asked my dad cause my mom would blow the cover. He asked on a Wed. and proposed on that Saturday. My mom tells me now that she knew something was up cause my dad was acting weird...lol

felicia220 · August 2010

Yes, but he did that on his own, it was not something that we talked about or that I told him that it was important to me, I guess he just figured I would appreciate it. Which both my father and I did.

Heather822 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_did-fi-ask-dad-ur-hand-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:3fa643ab-c4c1-4dc9-abc3-c3347c40674aPost:30a35846-45ec-4226-b9be-24330ffb09ed">Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???</a>:
[QUOTE]OUtdated? Unnecessary? Maybe garter throwing, Not asking ur dad, I think thats strong family value. My dad is my biff and VERY important to my life, past, present and future, no offence taken, Maybe im just a real DADDY"S girl,
Posted by LindseyandMarc[/QUOTE]

Yes, it is extremely outdated when you think about the roots of the tradition.... being as there was no dowry give out, yes, it was completely unnecessary! LOL

I don't think that fact means I care about my dad any less, or vice versa, but I am the one who controls my own life decisions, not him.

VanessaB24 · August 2010

i'm not sure if mh "asked" but he talked to my dad about it. Apparently most of my family knew except for my mom, because he thought she might spill the beans. lol

Melissa66 · August 2010

Since my beloved Dad passed away many years ago, DH asked my Mom for my hand only minutes before he proposed on Thanksgiving night 2007. Mom was surprised but immediately said yes. It was so sweet and touching. It meant a lot to Mom and to DH.

jrgoogrl · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_did-fi-ask-dad-ur-hand-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:3fa643ab-c4c1-4dc9-abc3-c3347c40674aPost:2c01e6a0-3956-414b-b805-6ee4f6567ca4">Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage??? : Yes, it is extremely outdated when you think about the roots of the tradition.... being as there was no dowry give out, yes, it was completely unnecessary! LOL I don't think that fact means I care about my dad any less, or vice versa, but I am the one who controls my own life decisions, not him.
Posted by Heather822[/QUOTE]

I agree with Heather! It's an extremely outdated tradition. But just because her FI didn't ask and neither did mine, doesn't mean that we don't care about our dads. Or that we're not as close. I'll definitely admit I'm NOT a daddy's girl! Never have been. I'm totally a mom's girl all the way. But I'm having only my dad walk me down the aisle and I'm still doing the father - daughter dance, because it's tradition.

Heather822 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_did-fi-ask-dad-ur-hand-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:3fa643ab-c4c1-4dc9-abc3-c3347c40674aPost:dc72ba04-2955-4c31-8f68-bb39f05650ea">Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???</a>:
[QUOTE]THat seems to be UR opinion, But if you look at the general responses here........LOL Seriously, what does it have to do with controling your life? Its not like ur dad's gonna say no.... Maybe not as close to ur dad as others, hey to each his own. I think half of a wedding is about tradition, did u or are u getting married in church? wearing something old something blue???
Posted by LindseyandMarc[/QUOTE]

Excuse me but HOW old are you exactly, because a lot of your posts here seem a tad on the juvenile side.
Who are you to insinuate how close I am to my dad? Did I not just say my choice has no baring on the status of my relationship with my Dad. My Dad and I have been through more together than most people, including his current terminal cancer diagnosis. A close relationship =/= "Butterfly Kisses" and rainbows and puppies... so how dare you assume differently.
No, I am not getting married in a church, and in my opinion, doing things solely for the purpose of tradition is ridiculous.
Again, do you know how this tradition of "asking permission" started...? Maybe if you were more educated about it you'd feel differently.

Heather822 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_did-fi-ask-dad-ur-hand-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:3fa643ab-c4c1-4dc9-abc3-c3347c40674aPost:e8282410-7f22-4ee6-a4ac-5f7130618930">Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???</a>:
[QUOTE]HOW OLD AM I?? Who the F insulted you, wow maybe u should read ur post! lol. possibly all 800 of them. DO YOU HAVE A JOB?? Sorry ur dad is dying and u feel angry u werent close to him! Because u r so educated.
Posted by LindseyandMarc[/QUOTE]

I can not even dignify this with a reponse....

rlb81 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_did-fi-ask-dad-ur-hand-marriage?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:3fa643ab-c4c1-4dc9-abc3-c3347c40674aPost:e8282410-7f22-4ee6-a4ac-5f7130618930">Re: Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???</a>:
[QUOTE]HOW OLD AM I?? Who the F insulted you, wow maybe u should read ur post! lol. possibly all 800 of them. DO YOU HAVE A JOB?? Sorry ur dad is dying and u feel angry u werent close to him! Because u r so educated.
Posted by LindseyandMarc[/QUOTE]
Are you serious with your posts right now? Seriously. Go away.

jrgoogrl · August 2010

Why are you attacking and jumping down people's throats for no reason. People have given you their responses and you need to respect that not everyone is going to have the same views has you. If you can't deal with that, then you shouldn't be posting.

Did your Fi ask your dad for ur hand in marriage???

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