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Can't attend their wedding, but they're coming to mine...what do I do about gifts?

ambrocious3ambrocious3 member
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in Registry and Gift Forum
Two weddings...what to do about gifts?

A family friend "K" (someone I've known most of my life, but am not really friends with) is getting married the same day as a closer friend of mine so I declined "K's" wedding invitation.  She and her new husband, however, are coming to my reception.
(I had a small destination wedding and am having a reception to celebrate with friends and family).  So what do I do about gifts?  I'm assuming she'll bring a gift since she's attending my reception, so do I send a gift to reciprocate and if so, how much do I spend?  I typically go with $50/wedding if I attend, but I don't know what to do about this one.

Thanks!
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Re: Can't attend their wedding, but they're coming to mine...what do I do about gifts?

  • PharmacyBridePharmacyBride
    500 Comments
    I would send said a gift (not because she went to your wedding), but because you want to help them get started on their life together.

    I am not sure about your budget, but I like to give something.  Even small gifts carry a big meaning with them.
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  • kelly&waynekelly&wayne
    100 Comments
    Any time I'm invited to a wedding, even if I can't make it, I always send a gift. 
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  • ambrocious3ambrocious3 member
    First Comment
    I figured I would give something, but do I spend what I would if I actually went to her wedding because she's coming to mine?  Or can I give something smaller because I'm not?
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  • gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I don't think the size of the gift should be based on attendance, unless attending the wedding means your gift budget is smaller due to your travel costs.  Just give what you feel comfortable with.
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  • Karen's MOHKaren's MOH member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I do feel that you could give a little less since you are not attending, and you aren't that close. If it was your BFF's wedding you couldn't attend, I'd give a gift the same as if you were attending.

    But in any case, yeah, you should give something.
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  • skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
    1000 Comments
    I give my gifts based on how I feel about the couple, if it is a couple I'm close to and/or really like then I give them a larger gift. If it is someone I'm acquainted with and not that close then I give them a nice, but not as large of a gift. It has nothing to do with whether I am attending or not.    It should be based on your level or relation or friendship with the couple.
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  • Brie2010Brie2010 member
    5000 Comments
    I would send a gift off their registry.  I send what I can afford and what I want to give the couple, not based on whether we are attending the wedding or not.
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  • balasjbalasj
    100 Comments
    Definitely send a gift.  Attending or not doesn't really play into the gift's monetary value so much as how close you are with them and your budget.
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  • flutgrl1flutgrl1
    100 Comments
    Why would you not send a gift? I always send a gift, usually a smaller one, if I don't attend. Even if you aren't there they are still getting married and it should be celebrated in some form.
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