Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!

AnneMargaret · December 2009

I have three sisters who are a good bit older than me who are not going to be BMs. They are 20, 11, and 8 years older than me, so we weren't particularly close growing up. I honestly don't think any of them even expected to be asked. I plan on asking 1 to be an EM and the other 2 to be readers. And I'm asking one of my nieces to be a flower girl, and my nephew will wear a little tux (even though he's special needs and can't actually walk down the aisle like a normal ring bearer). BUT my FI is an only child, so no FSIL issue. But if she's closer in age to you, I feel like it's understandable that she would be closer emotionally to you. Good Luck, I'm sure everything will work out fine.

emilykathleen511 · December 2009

Nah, they didn't break up. They just lost Steve...sad day...they are but a four pack now...tear....

LarissaAnn · December 2009

Anne Margaret, what's an EM?

Emily, now *I'm* jealous! I've only seen 'em once!

caymans_christy · December 2009

One of my BMs is in her late 40s. I was nervous asking her, but she is one of my best friends and is/has been there for me through everything. I thought she might feel silly getting a BM dress, etc. But, I asked and she started crying... I knew that she needed to be up there with me when I say "I do".

I just told her to pick out a black dress, but she and my sister (MOH) want to "match", so they have been looking at dresses and comparing notes.

I would just say that if the only thing holding you back is their age, ask them anyways. But I wouldn't feel like I had to ask them simply because they are my sisters.

meegz85 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sisters-not-wedding-party-mom-furioushelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e074670-dd66-4163-81e1-fd7da52e027cPost:0a50e266-d0a2-41ab-8078-1b8ae4100d6e">Re: Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm wondering why you're including your FI's sister and not your own sisters? Are you especially close with her? Because while I agree that your WP is yours to choose, that does make a pretty strong statement, and I can't imagine a sister NOT being hurt over that. Instead of just telling your sisters that they're important to you even though they're not BMs, I think it might be better to frame the discussion the way that mbcdefg suggested. If it would hurt them to exclude them, do you really want to do that? They are your sisters, after all.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This poster nailed in on the head. That is a pretty big slap in the face IMO. I can understand including your best friends, but the fact that you included your sister in law, I'm sure your sisters both take very personally. I cannot imagine that they are not hurt.</div><div>
</div><div>I also understand your moms reaction, although I don't agree with her yelling at you. If I excluded my sister like this, I know both my mom and sister would be devastated, but I wouldn't expect them to yell at me. </div><div>
</div><div>Since you said you do get along with your sisters, I think maybe you should re-think this decision? The worst thing in the world would be to look back on this in 5 years wishing you had included them.

</div>

jeannigirl · December 2009

Shame on you LOL what was the post again? Larissa I think that we should get one going.

cdavis0620 · December 2009

Everything is fine now, whew!! I am going to ask my sisters to light a memorial candle with me in honor of our father, who passed away about 11 years ago, and I will also ask that they do a reading. I'm going to try and get them to wear dresses that are the same color as the BM dresses, but a different style....and they of course will be called out in the program. Turns out that they weren't upset AT ALL about not being BMs! Good points were made on this board about having my future SIL in the party, and not my sisters, but they're totally cool with the role that I've asked them to play. Crisis averted.....until the next one pops up.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sisters-not-wedding-party-mom-furioushelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e074670-dd66-4163-81e1-fd7da52e027cPost:ecf08263-10f1-423e-a7a7-8dfe55f48ff1">Re: Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Anne Margaret, what's an EM? Posted by LarissaAnn[/QUOTE]

I"m not her, but probably Eucharistic Minister. (The people tht give out communion in a Catholic mass.)

LarissaAnn · December 2009

Ah, ok thanks!

cukimerrydoll · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_sisters-not-wedding-party-mom-furioushelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:4e074670-dd66-4163-81e1-fd7da52e027cPost:3c908a9f-9fd9-4181-bf13-97b03b0ee5fa">Re: Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Also throwing something else here. I am a mom and will one day soon within the next couple of years will be the MOB. I would not even think about acting this way to my daughter. Even if I were to put in any amount of $$ which my FI and I plan on helping would I even attach strings to that. I do give her advice on things that will help her when the time comes to planning her wedding. I tell her its her wedding and she can have whoever she wants in her BP and etc etc.
Posted by jeannigirl[/QUOTE]

Please stick to that. Parental navigation is the biggest problem with planning our wedding.

I'm so glad everything worked out!

AnneMargaret · December 2009

yes, EM = eucharistic minister

Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!

Re: Sisters not in wedding party - Mom furious...help!

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