There seem to be very strong feelings on both sides about the wording of the invite. My mother says "we are hosting, end of story." My future mother in law almost started crying (or punching people, I was having a very hard time reading her frustration) after seeing an invite sample that listed the bride's parents, me, my fiance, then their names. My future parents-in-law are paying for the photographer, the DJ, and the ceremony music (~10% of wedding cost) and my FMIL sees this as disrespectful to not include them as equal hosts with my parents. I don't actually care what the invite says, I just want everyone to be happy.
Anyone have an etiquette reference I can point to in order to settle this?