Married Knotties: What would you change?

Lenore2010 · December 2010

Yup, we have done this before, yes I could put it wedding recap but you here at SB are my home team, so I want to know what you think:

What would you change about your wedding? Here is my list:

It was a great day but I would change-

1.My MOH. What a nightmare-I should have thought that through better.

2. We did a DW, and I would have taken at least 5 days in Vegas and not just two nights.

3.I would have said damn it all and got that overpriced Maggie Sottero dress of my dreams.

4. More pictures. You can never have to many pictures.

5. This is actually a small one, but I wish my wedding photos were not going to be my "before" shots weight wise. But that's okay, its the least of it actually.

anna.oskar · December 2010

i would have postponed the wedding until i could afford a $$$ photographer. I'm so disappointed with our photos.

I would have had no attendants.

number55 · December 2010

I don't think I have too many really...

- I wish that I had taken a shot list with me or given it to someone, we have lots of photos but there are some key shots that I wish I had now. (I just got our wedding album in the mail this week...if you are interested in these things, PM me to see a link of it, I don't want to post it because it has names and stuff in it...)

- I wish that I had lost the weight I had planned. I wish there hadn't have been so many photos where I hated them simply because of my gut and/or my double chin and/or jiggly arms.

- I wish I had eaten more at the RD and reception. Our food was wonderful but I was so focused on other things I didn't eat.

- I wish times a million that we had spent the money on a videographer. We didn't because the only person I would have wanted to have had make the video was in my wedding party and because we couldn't have afforded a videographer who does work of the same quality as he does. He told me years ago that he would either be in the WP or film it, not both. He has to be up there with me but I really wish we had video.

- I kinda wish I had worn a necklace with my dress. I thought that it would have been too much but it wouldn't have been.

- I wish that I had either worn a bra (despite there being a bra within my dress) or had had someone tighten my corset throughout the night. It loosened so much as the day went on and I hated being one of those brides who had to pick up the front of their strapless.

- I think maybe I would have liked the idea of a photobooth. Or a candy bar.

SarahPLiz · December 2010

I would have inspected the cakes when they were delivered. Other than that, I'm god with it. I haven't seen our budget photog's pics yet, though.

jasmineh7777 · December 2010

-I would have just had my aunt make our wedding cake. Our cake was a disaster, and the woman was not a "professional" as she claimed. It was lopsided and falling over and she "etched" the quilting with a toothpick. A TOOTHPICK.

-I would have used the priest at my church here in town rather than the priest that baptized me. He was extremely rude to everyone, and lost all of our readings. His homily was this
"Most people give advice at weddings, but it's too late for that now." Then he led everyone in an awkward rendition of the Lord's Prayer.
THen he locked us out of the church before pictures.

-I would have had an evening reception rather than an afternoon one.

-I only would have invited 50 people.

katiewhompus · December 2010

* Hired a real photog. I love our pictures but I feel like we didn't get a lot of the pretty, artsy shots that everyone else has. I guess while I love them, I wasn't blown away by them.

*Hired a videographer. Bil insisted that between him, our cousin, and another relative we'd have plenty of video footage and didn't need to spend the money. Cousin/other relative still are "getting around" to getting my the raw footage (I had a May 09 wedding) and bil's is 3 hours of his daughter saying "hi daddy" in front of the camera.

* Had our DOC further explain our rain options. It sounds bratty, but the option we went with eliminated an aisle and the little girl part of me gets sad that I never had that "everyone look at how pretty the bride is" moment/pictures.

* Figured out a way to get an outside caterer or gone been more assertive with the venue. We never had a testing (even though we had the venue booked 6 months out) and while the food wasn't omg awful, it was definitely disappointing.

Chi_Chi · December 2010

-We would have done a first look. That is my biggest regret. I think the moment would have been beyond words. And to have photos of that...

-I wish I had had more patience. I was just so over the wedding. I didn't even want my mom to iron out the wrinkles in the table cloths at the reception venue.

-I wish we had used live flowers. We totally could have afforded it because we only had flowers for the bridal party and family. I just went with the pre-made silks and adjusted them to my liking.

laurenclaire1386 · December 2010

I would've only had my MOH with me. None of the other girls were particularly thrilled to be there and I felt like I was just wasting their time by asking them to be in the wedding.

But that's the only thing I'd change, I think. Although, I haven't gotten our pro pics back yet.

Steph0871 · December 2010

Part of me things I would have run off and done a small DW with only our closest families, but the other part of me will always cherish seeing people there for us the day of the wedding.

I realized when we got the pictures back that I have no pictures with my parents. I have me, H, siblings and my dad and step mom and one with my mom and step dad. But we didn't get any with just our siblings or just our parents. oh well.

That's all I can think of right now, to be honest. The day was perfect.

NatesGirl16 · December 2010

As an unmarried Knottie, I would have chosen a closer date. It's hard to wait! I know it will be worth it, and I'm enjoying this extra year of marriage "prep," especially since we've been discussing what marriage means to each of us and really planning our future (in specifics, rather than generalities). But we're both ready, damn it.

katiewhompus · December 2010

Oh yeah, and I would have changed the guest list drastically. We invited about 150 people, 70 accepted, 50 showed up. I didn't invite a lot of my friends because we didn't have space and it pissed me off when the 20 people no showed because I could have had more friends there.

number55 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:f8680baf-3c09-4e33-816e-a225dae6ae3f">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]As an unmarried Knottie, I would have chosen a closer date. It's hard to wait! I know it will be worth it, and I'm enjoying this extra year of marriage "prep," especially since we've been discussing what marriage means to each of us and really planning our future (in specifics, rather than generalities). But we're both ready, damn it.
Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

<div>I remember being there. Around the 6 month mark I was done. I just wanted the wedding done.</div><div>
</div><div>I agree with Lauren too. I am happy we included our siblings but I think they would have enjoyed themselves just as much without being in the WP and I would have just had my MOH and my friend Scott stand up for me. I don't know if it is something I regret, I might have just thought about it more before making the decision.</div>

number55 · December 2010

We only paid for 4 more meals than people who showed (two we knew about, two didn't show on the day of). This pissed me off enough as it was. 20 would have sent me over the edge.

gdizzle · December 2010

I would have taken pre-ceremony photos at my parents house (where most of us got ready) as opposed to a park near our venue. We got stuck in I-95 traffic for 45 minutes because a bus blew its tire on a bridge, and so I got 30 minutes for pre-ceremony pictures and 15 minutes during the reception for N & I.

I would have triple-checked that the DJ had downloaded our first dance song. He did not.

I would have triple-checked that the DJ was planning to bring a mic for our outdoor ceremony He did not, and it was a windy day near the ocean.

I would have triple-checked that the maitre'd knew where to seat my grandparents. She did not, and they were put in the second row with 5 open chairs in the front row. That upset me.

Because of the lack of photo time, we cut some time out of our reception for photos and had less than an hour for dancing. So, I would have skipped the bouquet toss and garter toss to make more time for dancing.

But, if I could really do everything over - I'd have had a smaller affair with a much lower guest count. I had a wonderful day, but I regret spending the amount of money that we spent on it out of our own pockets.

NatesGirl16 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:c9b6015f-47a5-4bed-aa2b-fa6eeb03e681">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh yeah, and I would have changed the guest list drastically. We invited about 150 people, 70 accepted, 50 showed up. I didn't invite a lot of my friends because we didn't have space and it pissed me off when the 20 people no showed because I could have had more friends there.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Ugh, this is our fear.

We had to limit our friends to accommodate FI's gigantic family. We sent STDs early, because we're getting married over a holiday weekend, it's expensive to travel over Thanksgiving, and a lot of people have lost their jobs, meaning they need advanced notice to save for travel costs (if they plan on coming). Everyone appreciated the advanced notice and says they're planning on coming, but it's so early they can't really now. I'll be so pissed if only a few people actually travel and we cut our friends to accommodate people who didn't even show up.

laurenclaire1386 · December 2010

Oh, one more thing. Our ceremony was outdoors and there's a train track not far from the venue. The venue said that in over 120 weddings at all times of day, not once had a train whistle ever interfered with ceremonies outside. Except ours. The train started coming right after I got up the aisle and the whistle blew for the entirety of the ceremony. Venue said they'd be checking the train schedules from now on so they could coordinate and not have another train whistle ceremony.

number55 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:3b6680fd-641c-4c32-9157-1dc1dd59659f">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, one more thing. Our ceremony was outdoors and there's a train track not far from the venue. The venue said that in over 120 weddings at all times of day, not once had a train whistle ever interfered with ceremonies outside. Except ours. The train started coming right after I got up the aisle and the whistle blew for the entirety of the ceremony. Venue said they'd be checking the train schedules from now on so they could coordinate and not have another train whistle ceremony.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

<div>FOR THE WHOLE CEREMONY? how long was the train?</div>

julezlee · December 2010

I wish we had more pics with our friends. I especially wish we had a pic of me grabbing my 2 BF's boobs ( it's a thing). I wish we had more detail shots, especially a good shot of my e-ring. Our photog just isn't a details shots guy. I also should've taken photos of our welcome bags because they were awesome. I wish I would've totally embraced the fact that our wedding wasn't traditional and not focused on things like picking colors and making sure things matched. I wish we would've recorded the speeches with our little flip camera or something.

laurenclaire1386 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:fef80c0a-0987-4edb-8478-de1dd084e003">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married Knotties: What would you change? : FOR THE WHOLE CEREMONY? how long was the train?
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]
It was apparently a very long train, but we also had a very short ceremony. But yeah, 10 whole minutes of whistle blowing is a lot.

katiewhompus · December 2010

Yeah I was not a happy camper when the wedding bliss wore off. Most of them were "political" where it's like, the aunt you invite to keep everyone happy, some coworkers of mine (who then quit the job 2 weeks later anyways), etc. All of them assured me 3 days before the wedding they would be there. The coworkers never requested off work and the family member "forgot" to buy the plane ticket (again, 3 days earlier?)

sucrets4 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:3d485832-26de-4484-841c-d2e9d768ca80">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wish we had more pics with our friends. I especially wish we had a pic of me grabbing my 2 BF's boobs ( it's a thing). I wish we had more detail shots, especially a good shot of my e-ring. Our photog just isn't a details shots guy. I also should've taken photos of our welcome bags because they were awesome. I wish I would've totally embraced the fact that our wedding wasn't traditional and not focused on things like picking colors and making sure things matched. I wish we would've recorded the speeches with our little flip camera or something.
Posted by julezlee[/QUOTE]

Your wedding was still the coolest EVER, julez!

gdizzle · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:3b6680fd-641c-4c32-9157-1dc1dd59659f">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, one more thing. Our ceremony was outdoors and there's a train track not far from the venue. The venue said that in over 120 weddings at all times of day, not once had a train whistle ever interfered with ceremonies outside. Except ours. The train started coming right after I got up the aisle and the whistle blew for the entirety of the ceremony. Venue said they'd be checking the train schedules from now on so they could coordinate and not have another train whistle ceremony.
Posted by laurenclaire1386[/QUOTE]

Oh no! We were right on the water and near an airport, so a boat blew its horn a few times during my vows and an airplane flew over during one part as well. But, I'd have gone nuts if it was the entire time!

NatesGirl16 · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:ffbf24dc-d391-4073-bfe5-3e44fbb00dc7">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah I was not a happy camper when the wedding bliss wore off. Most of them were "political" where it's like, the aunt you invite to keep everyone happy, some coworkers of mine (who then quit the job 2 weeks later anyways), etc. All of them assured me 3 days before the wedding they would be there. The coworkers never requested off work and the family member "forgot" to buy the plane ticket (again, 3 days earlier?)
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
All of ours are extended family of FI's. Since his parents are divorced and both are remarried (plus they have HUGE families), it's a thing where we can't invite one side without inviting the other. He's grown up with all of these people, so they really are family. I'm cool with it, but I just want people to be honest up front about whether they're coming or not (as we get closer, obviously).

gdizzle · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:0ce50f72-c008-4149-86f7-3ff974151afe">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married Knotties: What would you change? : Your wedding was still the coolest EVER, julez!
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

DITTO. When I say I wish I had done something simpler with a lower guest count, I am picturing your wedding in my head!

marriedfilingjointly · December 2010

I would have had a smaller bridal party. Wes is the youngest of his cousins and had been in all of their weddings, and felt obligated to have all 9 of them in his. I would have been fine with 3 bridesmaids.

I would have gotten my hair professionally done. My hair didn't look <em>bad</em>, it just looked kind of messy/windblown all day, which didn't really go with the rest of my look.

Wes would have had it in our church rather than my home church. I like where we had it, though.

I would have communicated to the bridal party that there is NO GAP and not to wander off between the ceremony and reception. I guess they thought that since the invitations said the wedding was at 10:30 and the reception was at noon that there was a gap, but there wasn't. We just had a long ceremony and it was a half hour drive to the reception.

[QUOTE]Oh yeah, and I would have changed the guest list drastically. We invited about 150 people, 70 accepted, 50 showed up. I didn't invite a lot of my friends because we didn't have space and it pissed me off when the 20 people no showed because I could have had more friends there.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

THIS. We invited like 180, 115ish accepted. We only had a small handful of no-shows. But I didn't get to invite many of my friends because Wes's family is so huge. It was my wedding too. I wish I had known so many people would decline. We didn't have any kind of minimums or maximums associated with our venue, just the added cost of more invitations and the possibility of more guests.

julezlee · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_married-knotties-would-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:dd61b38b-fd93-4ab1-bf57-002cbe53cbf8Post:0ce50f72-c008-4149-86f7-3ff974151afe">Re: Married Knotties: What would you change?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married Knotties: What would you change? : Your wedding was still the coolest EVER, julez!
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

You're too sweet, Sucrets!

Katie - for my BF's wedding, they had people RSVP yes who "forgot" to buy their plane tickets from Mexico to the U.S.

number55 · December 2010

Our two no-shows on the day of were both from DHs family. One of them I think is because she didn't want to leave her children with a sitter and the other I think is because DHs cousin is still very close with his ex. She never came to my shower and she was 'sick' on the day of our wedding...I wasn't surprised when she didn't show at either event.

The other two that I knew about were because of child care falling through and being called to work in the States (her husband is an actor). At least I knew about those two.

But still, 4 our of 97 isn't bad I guess...

sucrets4 · December 2010

~bought colorstay lipstick. My makeup person was supposed to give me a tube but she didn't. So I only had some on for pics before the wedding. Oh well, at least we did a lot of pics then.

~gone to bed earlier! By the time we got home from the RD, it was late and I had to do laundry because of leaving for our HM. But my SIL was doing laundry, so I had to wait until she was done.

JennaV26 · December 2010

I'll be honest, I seriously feel like our wedding day was as close to perfect as is realistically possible so I hate to complain at all but there are a few things I wish I would have done or not done

- I wouldn't have been so strict on the guestlist. My parents and I were so stuck on a certain number that I cut off about 4 people just to hit that number. There ended up being a few people who had RSVPed yes that didn't show up and at the end of that it would have made zero impact on our budget for me to have just invited them.

- The limo. I would have just sprung for it myself. I was so hellbent to have DH's parents take care of it since my parents paid for everything else but even though I told them exactly what to get they were adament about getting a limo that didn't fit my whole bridal party (re: cheaper). Since they were paying for it I couldn't say anything but I really should have just paid for limo myself. The limo had to make two trips from the ceremony to the reception and while that gave DH and I time for "us" pictures, some of our BP had to hang around the church and wait when they could have been drinking champagne and eating hor' dourves with everyone else.
- I wish we would have had a videographer. I hate pictures of myself and I loathe myself on video so I doubted whether or not I'd even watch the wedding video. Well I ended up loving our wedding photos so much (thankfully we did spring for the expensive photographer) that I wish we could take it a step further and have a video too. Even if we only watched it once or twice.

At the end of the day these are just minor details. Other than these three little things I wouldn't change a thing and I respect the decision-making processes that led to the above because I did what I truly felt was the best for us at the time.

JennaV26 · December 2010

Oh one more thing. I would have sprung for the extra hour at the reception. We had so much fun!

saisongbird · December 2010

- I would have hired a different photographer within the company. The owner was fantastic. We still want to kill the actual photographer, who SHOVED my MOH during the ceremony. We're not over that one, and believe me, we're using everything they did wrong (that's just one example) to get as many freebies with our album as we can.

- Been more insistent when planning the ceremony. We had an interfaith wedding and while we got all of the elements of both ceremonies that were important to us, both the rabbi AND the priest got the vows wrong! And they were supposed to be the traditional Jewish and Catholic vows! I think that's what I'm most upset about, four and half months later. We'll end up doing something down the line (say, 10 years - we're both upset over this one) and say the vows that we had wanted to say.

- Stuck to my guns and not had my SM pay for the shoes she wanted me to wear. I tossed them after the ceremony and wore the shoes I planned on wearing, but I didn't think to get the heels shortened (literally, 1/4 of an inch different!) and my dress is dragging on the floor in all of the pictures after the ceremony. Sad panda.

- I *might* have worn a blusher. I didn't want one at the time, but I'm regretting not having those pictures now.

- Asked for more pictures with my grandfather, and found a way to spend more time with him. I had some time with him that day, but your wedding day is so crazy, you blink and it's over! We have a couple of wonderful ones, but it was slim pickings. He passed away in his sleep that night, and his assisted living facility found him in the morning. I'm glad we got the ones that we did, though.

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