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Not Engaged Yet
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why?

snilwar23snilwar23 member
First Comment
in Not Engaged Yet
why wont he ask me yet..we have been friends for 8yrs and together for 4yrs..im 21 he is 23 going on 24..we are very much in love..when we talk about marrige he says he wants to..he tells me to go look at rings and give him ideas of what i like and when i do give him ideas of what i like he gets all like well not right now..im extremly confused and kinda hurt. then if i happen to bring it up when friends are around he just ignores me..but when we are alone he talks about it alot...he says he dosnt have the money but yet he just spent 5,00 dollars on a towin trailer to tow his other truck..
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Re: why?

  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Someone please do this. I can't handle the crazy right now.
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  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:1681e5b4-29db-49ea-a967-7584b032e099">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Someone please do this. I can't handle the crazy right now.
    Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

    I about posted the same thing..and she already posted on another board about her wedding yet she isn't engaged yet..I'm in too good a mood to reply ;)
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    He probably hasn't asked you yet because he's not ready yet.  Or he doesn't really want to.  I don't know.  You should sit down together and have a PRIVATE adult conversation about what each of you plans for the future.

    You really shouldn't bring up something so personal and so important in front of his buddies.  I would be pissed if my FI did that to me too.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    This has to be an AE or MUD.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • AnneAndJJAnneAndJJ
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is there something in the water tonight?
    He pretty much had me at "hello".
    -- PS I agree with whatever Jeana said --
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  • snilwar23snilwar23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    whats a ae or mud...i didnt mean to piss a bunch of people off i was jsut asking for help.
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wait why did he buy a truck to tow a truck?  If the old one can't tow itself what will it be used for?
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  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The one thing that stood out to me was the money issue. People have different priorities when it comes to money. Perhaps he feels that if he buys a ring right this second, he won't have anything left for something else.

    Just because he asked you to look at rings doesn't mean a proposal is imminent. My BF and I have looked at rings and actually found one we both really like. We spoke about the finances, and he told straight out told me not to expect it so soon. He's going to budget his money so that he has money aside for the ring, but also money set aside for other things. He doesn't want to spend every dollar of the money he earns towards a ring, and I understand that.

    Also, this sort of thing is private. Maybe he doesn't want the whole world to know just yet  that you guys are talking about marriage. It also depends how you broach the subject around his friends. Are you nagging him? If so, stop. Immediately. It will only make things much, much worse.

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  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:aabc7072-09a4-4ad7-90a1-9939ff509218">why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]why wont he ask me yet..we have been friends for 8yrs and together for 4yrs..im 21 he is 23 going on 24..we are very much in love..when we talk about marrige he says he wants to..he tells me to go look at rings and give him ideas of what i like and when i do give him ideas of what i like he gets all like well not right now..im extremly confused and kinda hurt. then if i happen to bring it up when friends are around he just ignores me..but when we are alone he talks about it alot...he says he dosnt have the money but yet he just spent 5,00 dollars on a towin trailer to tow his other truck..
    Posted by snilwar23[/QUOTE]

    He won't ask you because you cannot type coherently.  He won't ask you because you do not know how a period is used or how it is different from an ellipsis.  He won't ask you because you cannot use a shift key.

    Or he's just not that into you. 
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  • lam11lam11
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ok Im seriously confused...
    I know you dont have to have a ring on your finger to be engaged...but if he hasnt asked you yet...your not engaged...thats just me though but ok...

    why would you first off bring this up while being with friends...thats rude.. your 21...I'm 19 and I know to NOT do that...come on now...be an adult about this...


    and just like a PP said...WHY ON EARTH are you saying here...why wont he propose but on another board....you basically have your wedding planned out.....

    confused...really confused... and I believe you are too... and I think I see why he hasn't asked yet...just saying..
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Let me cut to the chase here.

    Someone says "Because he's not ready. Chillax and enjoy your relationship"

    You say "You're so rude! And mean!"

    Someone else says "Put on your big girl panties when you play on teh internetz"

    You say "I should never have posted here, I thought it would be happy! Why is everyone so bitter?"

    Mutley posts just about anything.

    You call her a bitter old married hag who spends all her time on the Knot because she has nothing better to do and is all bitchy pregnancy hormones.

    Everyone tells you Mutley was that way all along, before marriage and pregnancy, and that you're being too squishy.

    You get more upset. The thread gets heated, I tell everybody to simmer down, and you either appreciate the advice and shake it off (tons of people have rough first posts), or you go away.

    I'm not saying what I prefer to happen (I'd love it if we could all just get along), I'm just saying what happens in roughly 90% of all newbie posts.
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  • **Mutley****Mutley**
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011

    or   Too much awesome-ness to decide.


    Jeana.


    P.S. Panda, these are for you.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:aabc7072-09a4-4ad7-90a1-9939ff509218">why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]why wont he ask me yet..we have been friends for 8yrs and together for 4yrs..im 21 he is 23 going on 24..we are very much in love..when we talk about marrige he says he wants to..he tells me to go look at rings and give him ideas of what i like and when i do give him ideas of what i like he gets all like well not right now..im extremly confused and kinda hurt. then if i happen to bring it up when friends are around he just ignores me..but when we are alone he talks about it alot...he says he dosnt have the money but yet he just spent 5,00 dollars on a towin trailer to tow his other truck..
    Posted by snilwar23[/QUOTE]

    Capitalization, apostrophes, and spell check are your friends.

    Apparently you are very good friends with periods, but I'm not sure you understand that you only need one to end a sentence.

    I do not say these things just to be mean to you. I say them for your benefit. When your posts are punctuated properly, they are easier to read. You are thus more likely to get the help you want if you take the time to write properly.

    That said, please be aware that you are both still very young, and he may need time to just live life and enjoy being young. There's nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean he loves you any less. However, pushing him into something he isn't ready for will not end well for either of you.

    Please just enjoy being young and healthy. Go out with your friends, have fun, enjoy your relationship.

    Come back in a few more years if you haven't seen progress.
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  • snilwar23snilwar23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    he has a k5 blazer for off roading..that he tows to places he off roads at..and im really sorry for making some people mad.
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Nobody's mad. We don't know you well enough to get mad at you.

    Welcome to the Knot, young grasshoppa.
    Anniversary
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:f710c8c6-4b9f-4966-8b29-ec526df7c863">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]he has a k5 blazer for off roading..that he tows to places he off roads at..and im really sorry for making some people mad.
    Posted by snilwar23[/QUOTE]

    Cool.  That makes sense at least.

    Not everyone was mad.  Some people made good points.  You should think about what we've said because you did want advice, didn't you?
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  • GreenPepperBurgerGreenPepperBurger
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You didn't make anyone mad; we're just trying to help you. You obviously want help, otherwise you wouldn't have posted this.
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  • snilwar23snilwar23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    no im not nagging him at all
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  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:6679320f-a964-469c-a1f7-c5aef41bf92e">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]no im not nagging him at all
    Posted by snilwar23[/QUOTE]

    Call it what you like but can you agree that bringing it up in front of his friends is a bad idea?
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  • loves2shop4shoesloves2shop4shoes member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm calling MUD.  It's too much insanity for one night.  Unless we're repeating last Friday and no one told me...in which case I'm too tired to play the defensive uber-b*tch in a bad mood role.

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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Jeana = hero for the day


    "Popular on the internetz..."
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    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:91be9139-fb20-4adf-9115-8e2c9087fdc0">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jeana = hero for the day
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]


    Again?
    Anniversary
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  • snilwar23snilwar23 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    One of his friends was making jokes about us getting married. I then said hahaha never. Thats when he got all mad. But oh well it will happen in time.
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  • jelique7jelique7
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:8ac5d56a-9810-4b29-b94c-56fa89d8a550">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nobody's mad. We don't know you well enough to get mad at you. <strong>Welcome to the Knot, young grasshoppa.</strong>
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]


    lmfao! THIS! water almost came out of my nose reading those words.

    OP-No one is mad, we are just baffled why you would post this...

    here are 2options why he didn't ask you yet
    1. he has lied and dose not really want to marry you
    2. he is not ready for that commitment yet

    the end.
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:6c67d480-7824-404d-b07f-4455185d7cee">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]But oh well it will happen in time.
    Posted by snilwar23[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it will. Just enjoy being with him for now. The wedding stuff will be over before you know it, and when that settles down you'll have the same relationship you do now. So love him, and appreciate things as they are. You can't get this time back. Enjoy every minute.
    Anniversary
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_why?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:1fd73933-88b1-4781-8c1a-34e2fe97357aPost:b7122815-87a6-4e17-ae52-098d83860de1">Re: why?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: why? : Again?
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    You're just that good;)

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
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  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You guys are mean.

    Rabid raccoons are friendlier than you.
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  • jeanacorinajeanacorina
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Kat, put on your big girl panties or play with your toys in somebody else's sandbox.

    Kiss

    You're just sensitive because newborn baby birds are meaner than YOU.
    Anniversary
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  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Jeana is on FIRE tonight!

    OP - I'm sure it's because I'm a bitter old hag who is past her expiration date, but you're still young. What's the rush? It sounds like your BF isn't ready yet, and that's okay. If you're happy in your relationship, then just keep with it.

    image

    I haz a planning bio
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  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Gosh this beandip is delicious


    Where are all my motherfathers at?
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