Wedding Etiquette Forum

inviting couple who's wedding you were invited to?

Hey yall,

Hoping to get some good advice! FI and I recently (finally, with much hair-pulling) finalized our guest list. Or so we thought.....

Just recently a friend from college contacted me asking for my address so she could send me a wedding invitation. 

Here's the sitch: we were reasonably good friends in college, haven't really kept up since then other than running into each other at events with mutual friends. I don't even know that I have her current phone number in my phone! So basically, I wasn't planning on inviting her. 

However, our invitations haven't gone out yet, but we're already inviting more than we feel comfortable with (budget-wise) - what to do? I must admit, we're not having some tiny, intimate wedding where it would be more understandable that she's not invited... 

I kind of felt uncomfortable with the whole thing, so I was thinking about just adding her. FI says we should just RSVP "no" and this solves the whole problem (don't you love simple male made-up versions of etiquete?)

So what's the rules around this? Open to any and all thoughts & imputs!

Re: inviting couple who's wedding you were invited to?

  • You don't have to invite her.
  • Weddings aren't tit for tat. 

    You don't have to invite! 
    image
  • Weddings are not tit for tat.  Yes, there is some agonizing and guilt in making the decision to invite them because they invited you, but just go with what you can live with. 

    Case in point, FI and I just got the STD of a high school friend of his who is getting married one month after FI and I do.  These people were never on our guest list.  They still are not.
  • thanks ladies!!!
  • I've been to weddings (recently even) of people not invited to mine and mine isnt exactally tiny. My wedding will be mostly family, one I went to recently was mostly friends, you dont know how she did her guest list or what atmosphere she wants there. If you want to go to her wedding go to her wedding, and dont let impact if you invite her or not......then invite her if you have room and want to, or dont invite her. As ladies have said, its not about who got invited to whose, its about 2 couples whose lives overlapped at some point who both made choices about thier guest list.

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