Wedding Party

Would you like my attendant gifts??

So for the ladies (one MOH, 2 BM's, and a Jr BM) I had been going back and forth in my mind about what I would want if I was in their shoes.

As luck would have it, the FI and went to Oregon to visit family and we came across a Coach outlet. They were giving out 20% off coupons that would apply towards anything and everything in the store! We ended up walking out with a bill of just over $100.00 for 4 gorgeous Coach clutches for my girls!

I personally would love this, and all four fit the girl's separate styles perfectly. I'm just hoping that these are a good gift. We are operating on a tight budget, and I don't want them to think "oh, a purse, how lame"  So I guess I'm looking for honest judgements here... would you like one if you were an attendant? And if I should do more, any ideas?  Thanks for the help ladies!
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Re: Would you like my attendant gifts??

  • I would use it.  
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  • Do they have any Coach bags or have they expressed interest in Coach? If you know they like Coach, then I'm sure they'll like them. 
  • I got a coach wristlet 7 years ago when i was in a wedding.  I still use it.  Laughing
  • Honestly, I'd use it - on ONE condition: it is NOT in any way covered with the Coach logo.  If it was, I'd throw that thing out in a hot second.  But, if it was just a solid color or something equally nice, I'd really like it. 
  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited November 2010
    If you know for a fact that all 4 of your girls actually like Coach, I'd say it's fine. If you're just assuming all of them like Coach because you do, or because you know at least one of your girls does (And you're not so sure about the rest of them), then you probably should shop around and see if you can find something that you actually know your girls will love.

    Personally, if you bought me one in colors that I like, I'd like the gift. But I also like Coach. I know lots of people that either don't like it or couldn't care less about it.

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  • I gave my 4 attendants coach bags.  They LOVE them.  My MOH uses her bag all the time, and while I don't know about the other 3 because I don't see them as much (2 are OOT and the third one and I have drifted apart), the 2 who are OOT don't have the money to spend on coach and were thrilled to get something they want that they could never buy for themselves.  I say go for it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:8d749d57-689a-46ee-9eaf-b9e2a4c27a46">Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]all four fit the girl's separate styles perfectly.
    Posted by ckonidak[/QUOTE]
    There's no way to answer this without knowing the style of your girls (and whether or not they like Coach), but if I take your post at face value, seems you've answered your own question.
  • I think they would be great gifts!
  • How are we supposed to know what your girls would like? They're gifts for THEM not us. So whether or not we like it is a moot point. Personally I hate Coach and the sight of the line at the outlet mall on Thanksgiving night was gag worthy to me. But if your girls like Coach, does it really matter what I think?

    However, if you're thinking about the size/cost of the gift, I think you're fine. I don't expect brides to shell out tons of money on me for a BP gift unless of course their wedding costs half a million dollars and I end up with a pencil (or something like that).
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  • It doesn't matter if I would like them.  What matters is if THEY would like them.  Since I don't know them, I couldn't say.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:2030fee4-56df-43e0-be3e-31dd03256e80">Re: Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, no, I wouldn't like it.  But I also never go anywhere where I could carry a clutch.  I use a tote bag for my everyday purse and have several smaller "fancy" over-teh-shoulder bags for more formal occasions. However, if you honestly think all your girls will carry them, and you aren't requiring they use them for the wedding, then I think it's a fine gift.  I would never think "oh, a purse, lame". <strong> I personally would just think, "oh, a purse, has this girl even met me before?"</strong>
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
    Ditto this for me.  I own one purse, it's a crappy little black clutch thing I got at Target that I've used maybe four times, all instances when I didn't have pockets and DH wasn't around.  I have no interest in replacing it, so getting a Coach whatever would be about as useful for me as getting me an Xbox game when I don't own an Xbox.

    But I'm not one of your bridesmaids, so that information isn't really relevant to your situation at all, is it?
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  • I got my bridesmaids a wristlet from the Coach Outlet in Orlando with the 20% coupon! Woot!  They all love Coach, so I know I did good.  I also got them a nice Swarovski crystal neclace.
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  • I like your gift because it is not out of one of those cheesy wedding magazines.
     
    You put some thought into it. Some of these people on the boards think you should shop for a BM gift as if it is their birthday. Well that is really difficult to do. If you do not get the girls similar gifts, then some gifts will appear to be more thoughtful than others. My girlfriend that is having her wedding in a few months has 9 bridesmaids. If she went out and shopped for each of us personally, coming up with a different gift for each of us, then I would say the poor thing spent WAYYY to much time on BM gifts. You cannot hit a homerun with everyone on a gift, whether it be a BM gift, birthday gift, x-mas gift, etc. Just go with something that you find to be uniqe and throughtful that you think your girls would like.

    Some brides give gift cards to their wedding party, which is about as thoughtful as a tote bag with initials on it. Meaning, its a good attempt, but it fall's short of being thoughtful. Yeah, they will use a gift card, but they would use cash as well.....your wristlets are nice. You could always include a gift recipt, which we did with our gifts, so if someone really hates it they could return it.
  • ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    1000 Comments
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:b9a63046-90d1-45ef-b016-f26ffd1507b7">Re: Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like your gift because it is not out of one of those cheesy wedding magazines.   You put some thought into it. Some of these people on the boards think you should shop for a BM gift as if it is their birthday. <strong>Well that is really difficult to do.</strong>
    <u>
    Why is this so difficult?</u>

     If you do not get the girls similar gifts, <strong>then some gifts will appear to be more thoughtful than others.

    </strong><u>It's pretty rude to compare gifts with everyone else's. I've never had the inclination to do so.</u>
    <strong>
    </strong>My girlfriend that is having her wedding in a few months has 9 bridesmaids. If she went out and shopped for each of us personally, coming up with a different gift for each of us, <strong>then I would say the poor thing spent WAYYY to much time on BM gifts.</strong>

    <u>And BMs are going out of their way to pay for travel, attire, and perhaps showers and other parties for you. Spending an hour or so picking out a nice gift for them is hardly that big of a deal.</u>

    You cannot hit a homerun with everyone on a gift, whether it be a BM gift, birthday gift, x-mas gift, etc. <strong>Just go with something that you find to be uniqe and throughtful that you think your girls would like.</strong>

    <u>That's exactly what people suggest when they say shop like it's their birthday. Do you do something DIFFERENT for someone's birthday besides that?</u>

    Some brides give gift cards to their wedding party, which is about as thoughtful as a tote bag with initials on it. Meaning, its a good attempt, but it fall's short of being thoughtful. Yeah, they will use a gift card, but they would use cash as well.....your wristlets are nice. You could always include a gift recipt, which we did with our gifts, so if someone really hates it they could return it.
    Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:8d749d57-689a-46ee-9eaf-b9e2a4c27a46">Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]So for the ladies (one MOH, 2 BM's, and a Jr BM) I had been going back and forth in my mind about what I would want if I was in their shoes. As luck would have it, the FI and went to Oregon to visit family and we came across a Coach outlet. They were giving out 20% off coupons that would apply towards anything and everything in the store! We ended up walking out with a bill of just over $100.00 for 4 gorgeous Coach clutches for my girls! I personally would love this, and all four fit the girl's separate styles perfectly. I'm just hoping that these are a good gift. We are operating on a tight budget, and I don't want them to think "oh, a purse, how lame"  So I guess I'm looking for honest judgements here... would you like one if you were an attendant? And if I should do more, any ideas?  Thanks for the help ladies!
    Posted by ckonidak[/QUOTE]
    You know them better than we do, and we're not your bridesmaids.  I personally hate Coach and would never carry a clutch, but that's just me, and you can't go by that.
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited November 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:b9a63046-90d1-45ef-b016-f26ffd1507b7">Re: Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like your gift because it is not out of one of those cheesy wedding magazines.   You put some thought into it. Some of these people on the boards think you should shop for a BM gift as if it is their birthday. Well that is really difficult to do. If you do not get the girls similar gifts, then some gifts will appear to be more thoughtful than others.<strong> My girlfriend that is having her wedding in a few months has 9 bridesmaids. If she went out and shopped for each of us personally, coming up with a different gift for each of us, then I would say the poor thing spent WAYYY to much time on BM gifts. </strong>You cannot hit a homerun with everyone on a gift, whether it be a BM gift, birthday gift, x-mas gift, etc. Just go with something that you find to be uniqe and throughtful that you think your girls would like. Some brides give gift cards to their wedding party, which is about as thoughtful as a tote bag with initials on it. Meaning, its a good attempt, but it fall's short of being thoughtful. Yeah, they will use a gift card, but they would use cash as well.....your wristlets are nice. You could always include a gift recipt, which we did with our gifts, so if someone really hates it they could return it.
    Posted by stephasuasu[/QUOTE]


    Ok, first off, you <strong>are</strong> supposed to shop for somebody like it's their birthday. If they all like the same things, then fine, get them all the same gift. But if all of you're friends/sisters/cousins/whatever don't like the same things, then guess what? They should get different gifts.

    And your girlfriend having 9 BMs is not an excuse for her to get lazy and give everybody a cookie cutter gift. It's her own damn fault she had that many attendants, and buying gifts for 9 people is one of the consequences of asking everybody you know to be in your WP.  Don't ask that many people if you don't plan on properly thanking them.

    The gifts do not have to be expensive (Although, like Manwa pointed out, if they couple throws a million dollar wedding and all I get is a pencil, that's pretty bad), but they should come from the heart. And there is nothing about standing in a circle and seeing 8 other girls that have completely different tastes unwrap the same exact gift that says "from the heart".

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  • Is it really so radical to recommend that the gift be chosen with the interests of the recipient in mind?  Particularly when said recipient has spent hundreds of dollars and tons of time on your behalf, to make a party that YOU chose to throw special for YOU?

    OP, the long and the short of ALL the advice you're being given is this: if your friends like coach and would use coach purses and wristlets, go for it.  It's a fairly common BM gift, and no gracious person would do anything but thank you profusely for it.  But if they don't like this sort of thing, consider going another way and get them something they WOULD like and WOULD use.  Just consider the interests of each recipient when choosing a gift, just as you would on any other gift-giving occasion.  
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-like-attendant-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:217e91ca-f1af-4a95-a932-32beed8375adPost:f4e612f0-b173-47b6-8134-b28b8fbfe5f1">Re: Would you like my attendant gifts??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do they have any Coach bags or have they expressed interest in Coach? If you know they like Coach, then I'm sure they'll like them. 
    Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.

    I personally am not a Coach fan, so I wouldn't be a fan for that reason alone.
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  • I love Coach and would love the gift, But like PP's have said, it depends if your girls like Coach or not. If they don't, then I would think a different gift might be better.


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  • As you said, they're of your BMs style so that's what tells you that they'll like them.

    The imnportant thing is that a gift has no strings attached and that it's purchased with the likes of your BMs in mind.
  • Just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I appreciate everyone for giving their opinions. I guess I was hoping that people that like that kind of gift would reaffirm my hopes that it's a good BM gift. I also wasnt sure if more was necessary. We're having a low-key wedding, casual and comfortable, but I think they'll appreciate them. :-)  Thanks again!

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