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Annoying church policy..

Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
500 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul

I was really against doing a first look.  I know everyone says amazing things about it, and I agree with a bunch of the points, but.. I'm kinda traditional.  And weird.  And I really, really wanted the first time we see each other to be when I'm walking down the aisle. 

I find out now that our church has a policy that all formal pictures must be taken BEFORE the ceremony.  So, now not only does Jeff have to see me before the ceremony, but so does all those nearest and dear to us who would be in formals. I guess I could be okay with a first look, but I don't want everyone to see me before the ceremony.  I found this out a bit ago, but I figured I could probably bank on no one having an 11:00am wedding (ours is 2:00pm).. but I just realized my brain is really dumb and that would have no bearing on the situation at all (I guess I was just thinking more time..?  I don't know.)

I guess there is no question here, just overwhelming disappointment.  I'm probably being dramatic and this is probably something I should brush off as no big deal.. but it seems like a big deal right now. 


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Re: Annoying church policy..

  • hkieslinghkiesling member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How can they require you to take the pictures beforehand?  Are you dead-set on having family pictures in the church?  If not, then just go to a park or something after the ceremony.  It's probably a timing issue for the church and they need the church cleared for cleaning.
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  • I Want CakeI Want Cake
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That sucks that you can't have it the way you want it.  FI and I are having a first look and will do at least some of the formals ahead of time, but yeah, you don't want to have your thunder stolen.  I'm worried about it, too, since we'll likely be doing some of our formals outdoors in the sculpture garden as people are entering.  I don't want anyone besides the BP to see me in my dress until I walk down that aisle, dammit.  I fully intend to hide in the limo after we're done with formals and before the ceremony.
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  • beka0404beka0404
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What hkiesling said. The church can't dictate your formals if you have them off-premise.

    I understand your reasoning, but if for some reason you reconsider, I have to say, I loved seeing Dave before the wedding. We had pics for just the two of us both before and after the ceremony, and it was great. It didn't detract from the emotions at the ceremony AT ALL. I still cried coming down the aisle, he still looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. I don't regret it one bit. (However, we had a 4:00 wedding. With a 2:00, you have waaaaaaay more time between ceremony and reception than we did.) Other people saw us beforehand (had full family pics w/ extended families and it definitely didn't detract. If anything, it was nice to have a few moments with our loved ones before the official craziness began.
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  • MilitaryBride2BeMilitaryBride2Be
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm with you, I don't want my FI to see me until I walk down the isle. I agree with PPs try scoping out other locations where you could take photos after :)
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  • rasoucierasoucie member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Will the church let you move up the ceremony half and hour, giving you less time for photos beforehand but adding 1/2 an hour after for those "must have" shots?
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  • golden1215golden1215 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The church can dictate when you take photos to keep a time line going and get other weddings in or janitors etc etc 

    Can you change your church?

    I personally loved getting my photos done beforehand and the first look was still special!
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  • EmilyCMNEmilyCMN
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Is there a way you could rent the church for after the ceremony? I would think for an extra $100 or something they would let you keep it a little longer... can't hurt to ask what it would take to keep it for longer after the ceremony.
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  • veijesveijes
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We didn't do a first look and I am so happy we didn't. We didn't have much time to take pictures after but we took all our formal shots at the reception site outside. I really liked that because I think outdoor lighting looks a lot better than indoor lighting. I would look at other options.
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  • tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm still torn on the first look photos.  FI doesn't want them.  I kinda always did.  However, it sucks that you are forced to have it one way.  It'll make for good photos though!
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  • LCW2LCOLCW2LCO
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hello!

    I'm a photog myself AND a bride now... and I TOTALLY see both sides from the professional side and personal side. Originally I was TOTALLY AGAINST the FI seeing me before, but the more Weddings I shoot... the smoother I see that photos prior to the ceremony work out.

    However - I AM ALL ABOUT PRIVACY for the first-look. no one but me, the FI and our photog will be around to experience that. This also is a nice way to share a moment with just the two of you rather than with a ton of people around when you may have runny makeup or a reaction you don't expect. At least you can then fix these things before the wedding. It's actually more personal to see eachother before - but everyone has an ideal way to have their big day which is totally normal. You should DO WHAT YOU WANT!

    I would second going off the premises to do photos later then. This is unless the chapel/ceremony site closes just after your wedding. I can understand if you'd like church photos - but there is the option to take the 'must-take' family shots seperately before (I've done this MANY times).. Parties etc... then just the two of you after outside the church if it is a strict policy.

    That is what I would recommend so you get the best of all worlds. Be sure your photog has a great itinerary and assistant to help the process run smoothly! :)

    Best of luck girlie! :)
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  • kmr333kmr333
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where they did not do a first look.  They did all non-couple pictures, such as bridesmaids & bride, groomsman & groom, etc. before the ceremony so that the couple did not have to see each other.  The rest of the pictures were done afterwards.  If you don't have your heart set on inside-the-church pictures, you can always go somewhere else after the ceremony to do the rest of the pictures.  Even in winter there are inside options such as the Guthrie.
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