Soo I will try to make this short, but not sure it's possible -
My fi and I got engaged 6 months ago - our families were very excited, etc. I was completely into the whole planning thing, and we finally decided on a small wedding of just close family and friends. We tentatively set the date for Oct. 7, 2010 (nothing has been officially booked just yet.)
However, over the past 6 months, a number of things have happened that have caused me to feel as if I just want to shut down and not deal with this anymore. First, my mother quit her job due to emotional stress, however it took her 5-6 months to find a new job, and is now under an immense amount of financial AND emotional stress after being out of work for so long. She insists on purchasing my wedding gown, which I KNOW she has no business doing. She's fixated on the fact that she feels she MUST and WANTS to do it.I keep telling her I would like to purchase it on my own, but she won't have it. I would really like to go dress shopping with her - We live VERY far apart. So I had planned to either fly to see her and do it, or fly her to see me. Now I just really want to forget the whole thing b/c it pains me to see her struggling and I don't want to get into an awkward situation while dress shopping of who's paying what. On another note, the fact that she is down and upset a majority of the time makes me feel so crappy about focusing on the wedding at all. I feel I should be doing something to assist her (outside of what I'm trying to do by being her support system and sending $$ when I can.) She is extremely depressed and that's an issue unto itself
Also, my fi's best friend has been struggling due to the economy - He has had to let go of one of his two businesses and is having trouble making ends meet. He and his girlfriend have a small child and are living off a tiny income. We feel sort of terrible even asking them to come out (they live out of state as well.) We are not in a position where we can cover anyone's airfare and room, unfortunately. I don't want them to feel pressure to come - however, of course we would want them there. My fi's brother is also having alot of trouble - out of work, going through a divorce, etc. It just feels as if everyone is going through a difficult time, and I suppose I'd rather just elope than put anyone else through any unneccessary stress. I know October is also far away and things could change by then...but I just don't know.
I guess the easy answer would be to wait - have the wedding later, etc. But we've been together for 6 years (almost 7 by the time the wedding rolls around.) We'd like to start a family and make this whole thing official. I'd do it today if I could - but our families are pretty tight knit and truly eloping or doing a jop wedding without them is out of the question. They would be mortified and very sad.
Any words of advice? I feel sort of lost. What was a wonderful thing has turned into a truly stressful situation. I thought keeping our wedding small would alleviate alot of that, but so much has happened I just don't know how to move forward with the plans. (Also, we are intending to have the wedding where we live, b/c our families are both spread out over 3 different states - So we can't really 'go to them' and have the wedding either.)