Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Registry and Gift Forum
Registry and Gift Forum
New Discussion

"Registering" for our Honeymoon?

dyvo1223dyvo1223
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
My FI and I decided that we have enough miscellenious stuff in our house that we'd prefer not to get a lot of gifts for our wedding. What we really want is to have everyone pitch in to help send us off to our honeymoon, since so much of our funding will be on the wedding itself. But I'm not sure how to make that happen. I thought it would be as simple as setting up a paypal account for it and having everyone put their gifts there, but my mom thinks that's a bad idea, mainly because people giving gifts don't want to confess how much they are putting into those gifts. Has anyone done this before? Could we possible have a travel agent handle all donations? Does this sound like a horrible idea??
Report Reply to Post

Re: "Registering" for our Honeymoon?

  • LeiselEBLeiselEB member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    The issue with this is that it's not necessary. You're absolutely welcome to say "We're saving up for a honeymoon/new house/whatever" when guests ask about your registry, and then guests who want to contribute to that will give you cash as a wedding gift. They don't need a middle man.

    These honeymoon registries take a percentage of what people give you. So if they were planning on giving you $100 in cash, and used your honeymoon registry instead, you might only get $90, but they still spent that full $100. Bad for all parties involved (except the registry company). 
    Report Reply
  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2012
    There is a sticky at the top of this thread that talks about HM registries.  You should read it.  

    It is rude to ask your guests to give you cash.  Guests are not dumb, they know that cash is appreciated and know how to write you a check or shove some bills in a card.  Make a small registry of upgrades or have no registry.  When people ask where you are registered, say "We have a small registry at Macy's, and we are saving for a HM."  

    If you don't want boxed gifts, you should decline all showers.  

    Plan the HM you can afford.  If that means waiting until you've saved more money or have seen what gifts you may have received, then postpone your HM.  
    Report Reply
  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    No. Just no.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    If people are comfortable giving money, they will write you a check.  

    These cash registries are awful.  
    Report Reply
  • hoffsehoffse member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    FI and I are postponing our honeymoon so that we can take the one we want and can afford instead of asking our guests to pay for it.  You should do the same thing if money is an issue.

    Not only is it rude and deceptive like PP's mentioned, it's also logistically really difficult to deal with.  Most people send gifts the week before the wedding.  If you leave for your honeymoon the day after your wedding, how are you going to know whether you can afford it or not?

    Also consider how it looks to guests - whenever I see this as a guest I think it says, "I know you probably can't afford your own vacation, but please pay for mine!"  That's just really tacky.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • MNVegasMNVegas member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    Asking people for cash gifts is rude no matter how you try to spin it!

    People already know that cash is a great gift and if that is what they want to give you as a gift, they will put cash/check in a card. Pretty simple, right! No need for a paypal account or for some gimmicky website that will take part of the gift in fees. Most importantly you will not be offending or deceiving your guests.

    Do a small registry for people who insist on giving boxed gift and others will get the hint and give cash.  
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
    Report Reply
  • jaso2012jaso2012
    10 Comments
    You're not going to get a good response here on TK, but my DH and I did a registry through Honeymoon Pixie. It's a much better idea than setting up a Paypal account independently. Guests can decide which experiential gifts to buy, and you can know which guests buy what. If you're up front with your guests about how the registry works (Yes, they do take a small fee. They have to maintain their site and such somehow!) and use the money as it's intended to be used, I think it's a great idea!
    Report Reply
  • Mrs.B6302007Mrs.B6302007 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-for-our-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:4959187a-66fa-41a8-adfd-3803ac053944Post:8c0aeafd-ea6a-4df2-be17-234cd24d38ea">Re: "Registering" for our Honeymoon?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You're not going to get a good response here on TK, but my DH and I did a registry through Honeymoon Pixie . It's a much better idea than setting up a Paypal account independently. Guests can decide which experiential gifts to buy, and you can know which guests buy what. If you're up front with your guests about how the registry works (Yes, they do take a small fee. They have to maintain their site and such somehow!) and use the money as it's intended to be used, I think it's a great idea!
    Posted by jaso2012[/QUOTE]

    You think it's a great idea to only get 93% of each gift?
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10
    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

    Report Reply
  • Bookishtype202Bookishtype202 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I think honeymoon registries are tricky, but you're not crazy or alone in thinking about it. I've read about this even before I was poring over wedding magazines. With that being the case though, I'm sure that there are websites/ways to arrange this such as the Honeymoon Pixie that someone mentioned without going the Paypal route. That's a little...direct, maybe, and it will not be appreciated by everyone, as practical as it may seem. 

    I would look into Honeymoon Pixie and I swear there was an article in Brides just in the last month or two about how to do this, so check out the back issues or go online. You are doing the right thing by doing your homework If you're going this route. I'll pay off--maybe even literally--to do it as gracefully as you can. That being said----be smart. I would use a honeymoon registry to help allay honeymoon expenes, not to rely on it to fully fund somewhere that would be ridiculously out of your price range. After all, if you don't get very much--do you not go? What about the people that gave money? Just make sure you've got a plan and you are ready to honor the efforts of the people that helped.
    Report Reply
  • MeghannsixMeghannsix member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure  my guests would want me to receive 100% of the gift they've given me, not a portion, so we will not be doing a HM registry.  If people are going to give you money, they'll write a check or stick some cash in a card.  These registries are completely uneccessary!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Simply_CaitlinSimply_Caitlin member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    This is where I have a different opinion than the majority.  I love this idea of Honeymoon registries.  I had someone very close to me do it for their wedding.  I was stoked to buy them an experience rather than just give them cash.  Sure I bought them champagne and strawberries when they got to their room and part of their airfare, but I knew they could use it any way they wanted.  Much like if I had just given them cash.  However, knowing they would be using it for what I purchased gave me the warm and fuzzies.

    Anyone who disagrees with HM registries, just don't buy anything off of them.  I've seen posts about this where people say "if I see that, I give less of a gift" and I think that is far more rude than the registry.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    258 invitedimage
    182 can't wait to partyimage
    76 are missing all the funimage
    image
    Report Reply
  • OlgineWernerOlgineWerner member
    First Comment
    I registered for my honeymoon using honeymoonwishes.com
    And one of my friends registered using honeyfund.com

    For my honeymoon I'm going on a cruise so my guests can make a contribution to the cost of the cruise, buy us "drink by the pool", "wine at dinner", and stuff like that.
    Report Reply
  • amk1310amk1310
    10 Comments
    I also think it depends on your family and friends.  My fiance and I did a honeymoon registry, but only after we discussed it with a number of friends/family.  They were very supportive, so we went with it.  We did choose a site where no fee is removed (mainly because credit cards aren't accepted). I guess our guests are a little less conservative/traditional than some, so it does work for *us*...might not be the case for others.

    As for knowing how people spent -- you'd know how much people spent with a traditional registry anyway.  I do think a honeymoon registry is a little more fun for the guests since they can "shop" for experiences for you.

    I also like the idea of a small registry and then mentioning saving for a honeymoon.
    Report Reply
  • Eliz77Eliz77 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I don't know if there are various HM registries, haven't looked into them. My agent offers a registry but it's more of a "give us money to help pay for HM!" type of thing. If it were like a store registry, where we "registered" for a snorkeling trip, or dinner at a specific restaurant, I'd be all over it. The way she offers it, I feel is tacky and a money seeking ploy. So we said no, thanks.
    ~ES~
    Report Reply
  • futuremrsbrunofuturemrsbruno member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    My fiance and I have a honeymoon registry. Our friends and family thought it was a cool idea and were as excited about it as we are. We live together now, and even though we have a roommate and will have to split our items up when we eventually move into our own place, most of our friends and family know what we absolutely need and don't need. We are also having a large wedding (240) and knew the items on our registry would probably get sucked up pretty quickly so we wanted to keep guests options open.

    Our travel agency actually doesn't charge for their services. I checked into this and it is true. They are hooked up with different resorts and airlines and they get a kick back from the actual resort for booking people into it. We looked at several different companies, as well as looking independently and it would have cost us the same amount to book on a travel site or book through the resort and the airline seperately. So if someone wants to contribute $100 to the honeymoon, I know that $100 will go to the honeymoon.

    At the end of the day, I think people can and should register for what they want from where they want. I've heard of people registering on Amazon. Seriously. I don't see the big deal in asking for what you want.

    And yes, we can afford the honeymoon even if no one puts money towards it. I just liked the idea since I know some of our family would rather send us on a trip than buy us a new mixer or something.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards