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Addressing Invitations

sparklingdiamondsparklingdiamond member
Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
I noticed when I was looking it up online that you are supposed to address the outer envelope to a married couple as:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Is that how you girls did it?  I just don't like that format, but if its the way that you are supposed to do it, I will.  I just personally wouldn't want to be Mrs. John Smith.  I would rather be Mrs. Sarah Smith.  Just my two cents!  But I want to be correct on the format here.
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Re: Addressing Invitations

  • danac2010danac2010
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    My mom addressed all mine and she put Mr and Mrs John Smith on all of them.  I didn't want them this formal but she is old school and insisted!

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  • marksle84marksle84
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm doing mine Mr. & Mrs. John Smith. I talked to my calligrapher and he said thats the formal way to address the outer envelope. If you are having an inner envelope it gets addressed to Mr. John & Mrs. Jane Smith and can even include kids names if their invited. 
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  • nickandmerrittnickandmerritt
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    That's the traditional etiquette, but I'm not a fan of it either.  As I understand it Mrs. Wife's First and Mr. Husband's First Last is also acceptable.  (You're technically not supposed to separate the husband's first and last name, so wife's name goes first.)  If they have different last names then you would list them both--I'm not sure whose name you would put first though. 
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  • shortgirltxshortgirltx
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I did Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe but we didn't have an inner envelope.  I remember hearing how women were annoyed that their name was always left out which is one reason I did what I did.
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  • arlenejohnarlenejohn member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did Jane and John Smith. It was easier when then a guest other than a real name . I didn't like Mr. John Smith and Guest, I liked John Smith and Guest. It may not be exactly proper, but I preferred it that way.
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  • serlaceserlace
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We did Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Now that I'm married it ticks me off when we get mail addressed that way. 

    Also - N&M - how dare you take those kick *ss shoes off your siggy!  Besides that, I almost didn't recognize you. 
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  • bobbileighbbobbileighb
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    We are doing Mr. and Mrs John and Jane Smith I dont care if its not proper I cant stand the thought of being addressed as Mrs Matthew Fiances lastname.  Also, when Glenn introduces us at the reception he has explicit instructions to introduce us as Bobbileigh and Matthew new lastname.

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  • nickandmerrittnickandmerritt
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:ee395933-b0be-4637-becd-030c60786771">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]We did Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Now that I'm married it ticks me off when we get mail addressed that way.  Also - N&M - how dare you take those kick *ss shoes off your siggy!  Besides that, I almost didn't recognize you. 
    Posted by serlace[/QUOTE]

    Ha.  Well I figured by the time the wedding rolls around I will be tired of seeing them, so I figured it was time for a change!
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I also did Mr. & Mrs. Jim Doe on mine
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Awww, I love Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  :(  But I'm old and a stickler for etiquette.
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  • bobbileighbbobbileighb
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:35d75c60-95a3-44cf-b258-bfc1e0e5f76e">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Awww, I love Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  :(  But I'm old and a stickler for etiquette.
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

    Would you be offended or have a negitive ettiquette thought if you received an invite that wasnt addressed that way?

    I dont want to offend anyone but feel like a part of me dies inside with the thought of my first name being taken away.
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  • bobbileighbbobbileighb
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:35d75c60-95a3-44cf-b258-bfc1e0e5f76e">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Awww, I love Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  :(  But I'm old and a stickler for etiquette.
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

    Would you be offended or have a negitive ettiquette thought if you received an invite that wasnt addressed that way?

    I dont want to offend anyone but feel like a part of me dies inside with the thought of my first name being taken away.
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  • bsn1752bsn1752 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:c240b155-a76f-44c2-8b5c-2a9a55cc58b0">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Addressing Invitations : Would you be offended or have a negitive ettiquette thought if you received an invite that wasnt addressed that way? I dont want to offend anyone but feel like a part of me dies inside with the thought of my first name being taken away.
    Posted by bobbileighb[/QUOTE]

    I don't think that it would be offensive.  But I do agree with Stephie, I am into the Mr. and Mrs. John Doe thing... it just looks very classic to me!
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Well, I wouldn't be offended of course, but I would note that it wasn't addressed properly.
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  • sparklingdiamondsparklingdiamond member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:513085ef-5223-4b5a-9a26-98e5f88c479a">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are doing Mr. and Mrs John and Jane Smith I dont care if its not proper I cant stand the thought of being addressed as Mrs Matthew Fiances lastname.  Also, when Glenn introduces us at the reception he has explicit instructions to introduce us as Bobbileigh and Matthew new lastname.
    Posted by bobbileighb[/QUOTE]

    I think that is what we will end up doing. :-)
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  • mandaroo7mandaroo7
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Um I'm with Stephie and Brianna... I like the old fashion way!
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  • sparklingdiamondsparklingdiamond member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It just seems to be a matter of personal preference here.  :-)  I personally would be upset if it was addressed to me without my first name being on there.
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  • bigbabyfacebigbabyface member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_addressing-invitations-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:e50ffb6d-ace9-403b-9597-277698e13800Post:d8647716-6d87-4285-98e6-8c8d4f80c7da">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]It just seems to be a matter of personal preference here.  :-)  I personally would be upset if it was addressed to me without my first name being on there.
    Posted by sparklingdiamond[/QUOTE]

    I think so too, you should do what YOU like :)
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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We are going the classic etiquette route of Mr. and Mrs. John Doe as well.
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  • mandasue178mandasue178 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Like PP's said, even if you don't like it, it is "proper"

    There are lots of old school rules as to when to use Mrs. vs. Ms. that most people don't even know about. For instance Mrs. Jane Doe is incorrect. It's either Mrs. Doe or Mrs. John Doe. 

    Mrs. technically means "wife of" and you aren't the "wife of" yourself. Again this is very old school, but a little further explanation.

    See what happens when you spend 6 months working in an industry that requires you learn real etiquette? You learn things that are entertaining, but useless. 
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  • llc2011llc2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did Mr. & Mrs. John Smith on the outside, and on the inside belly band wrote Jane & John.

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  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Lauren.  Of course, I was the passive-aggressive ones that sent an invitation to my ILS with Dr. and Mrs. O'Snottyson on the inner envelope for the anniversary party.  I also put it on their name card:  Dr. O'Snottyson and Mrs. O'Snottyson.  I didn't even use first names. 
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  • rcpm44rcpm44 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm late on this, but I agree with Stephanie and Brianna. I'm old school too and like Stephanie I wouldn't be offended but I would most definitely notice the improper etiquette.

    But we went uber formal and addressed the envelopes as Mr. and Mrs. First Name Middle Name Last Name.

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  • bobbileighbbobbileighb
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I am actually thinking I might just mix it up.  For family and those I would address more formally I will address with proper etiquette.  For our close personal friends only 4 are married and I know from conversations how they feel I will address them the improper way.  Hi, my name is Bobbileigh and I am a people pleaser. :)
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