Ring issues

CALEO · November 2012

I'm so shocked people keep asking me how many carats it is!? I get so put on the spot that I answer but I don't want to! Give me a line to tell them to mind their own beeswax (except less 4th grade! haha).

I had a friend grab my hand and say "let me look at the clarity."

I also had another co-worker (boss) ask me how many carats it was, then say "i've got you beat" when I told her, and then she kept trying to grab my hand and look at the stone from the underneath (to look for flaws I assume?) super weird. I litterally had to wiggle my hand out of hers.

Are people always this rude? What happend to "that's gorgeous, congrats!"

msuprincess04 · November 2012

That's really weird. I can't say I've had that experience. Why in the world would I need to compare my ring to anyone else's? If someone asked me I'd probably be taken off guard too. I'd probalby say something like "Oh, I don't know, I just love that the took the time to pick out something so beautiful" and change the subject.

Honestly, I don't know the exact carat, clarity, or color (well, I'm know the color because I'm picky about that) of my ring. I just know it's awesome.

ftrmrsweatherdon · November 2012

I like the above posters response! Call them out on what a weird thing it is to ask. Make them learn it is NOT appropriate to ask such a question.

Q: How many carats is you diamond?

A: Geez, thats a weird question. I'm not exactly sure, but I love it.

achiduck · November 2012

My ring is rather on the large side so I got several "Is that thing real?!" questions, a few "how much did it cost?" but mostly compliments The person who was the most persistant with their questions was actually my decorator and I almost didn't hire her because of it!

The best thing is to turn it around and say "why do you ask?" That usually makes them realize the inappropriateness of their question and they'll shut up.

CALEO · November 2012

Thanks all! I am going to try the "why do you ask" or "I'm not sure" lines!

My ring is on the larger side (and beyond my wildest dreams/expectations) so I think that is also why people ask - but still - not ok!

cwaggoner07 · November 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_ring-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:b81eaf98-d677-4149-ae09-0b5ec4451a69Post:1b501f54-98c9-4fe6-9586-261b04cdbe3a">Re: Ring issues</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the above posters response! Call them out on what a weird thing it is to ask. Make them learn it is NOT appropriate to ask such a question. Q: How many carats is you diamond? A: Geez, thats a weird question. I'm not exactly sure, but I love it.
Posted by ftrmrsweatherdon[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. If they are going to put you in an awkward position by asking, you can make them awkward right back.

Sassenach1743 · November 2012

Well Geez, now I want to see a picture of this dazzling bauble!!!

Lol! Congratulations on your engagement and your gorgeous ring. Don't let anyone ruin this wonderful time for you. If someone is inappropriate or rude to you, it's just a sign of their ignorance and/or insecurity.

In my experience, most people were curious of my ring's design features (my ring has filigree and milgrain with lots of pave diamonds on the band, plus a halo around the center stone, etc.) but no one asked about carat size... except my Mom, but she was super excited to see a diamond on my finger and wasn't being mean about it.

I think anyone who has knowledge of diamonds should be able to admire and appreciate your ring without asking direct questions. I can kind of guess at carat size just by looking. But questions of color and clarity are sort of silly, unless someone is genuinely interested due to their own plans to purchase a diamond in the near future.

Your boss, on the other hand, is just plain RUDE. She actually said "I've got you beat" ?? That is so tacky and really shows her insecurity. She should have just congratulated you and not pissed on your happy news by 'one uping' you to revert the attention to her. Just terrible. I'm really sorry you had this experience.

CALEO · November 2012

haha - I'll show you all a pic friday after I pick out my band! RIght now its just a solitare setting (which I actually love! - We'll see if I change it!)

BulgariHeart · November 2012

I never really reply to those questions as my ring speaks for itself. I always say that my real diamond is my husband.

ljsquintz · November 2012

OP wow that is so rude of people! I would just say "I have no idea, but isn't it beautiful?!". It's nobody's business how many carats it is!

mandi195 · November 2012

I get the "is it real," "where did he get it," and "how many carats is that," often. Each question gets the same response... "why do you want to know?"
Regardless of their reason for wanting to know (after they stumble over their words after being put on the spot like that), I say, "oh, but why?" they usually get the hint. If not, I just tell them that none of that nonsense matters, as I love my ring and the man that gave it to me.

People can be so crass sometimes.

cnf2013 · November 2012

People are so rude sometimes. The above suggestions are good. Thankfully no one has asked me about my stones clarity or carats. Granted my ring is kind of a beast and is larger than the average e-ring. Not so much in stone weight, but just in girth. It tends to throw people off.

SJM7538 · November 2012

There is a lady that works in our cafe at my office (super nice lady, really friendly) but every time she seems ring she ogles it and basically pets it like its a cat! Weirds me out.

Avion22 · November 2012

Yeah, my diamond pretty average compared to American jewelry (I guess, I have no idea of the actual carat weight), but it large compared to what most people my age have in the UK. Jewelry over here is just more expensive. So I get a lot of comments on my ring...nobody has been rude enough to ask how big it was or how much it cost (I don't know the answers to either of those questions), but I get a lot of confused looks when people find out my husband is "only" a teacher. It's kind of insulting that people think only super-rich people can afford nice things. My "only a teacher" husband happens to be good at saving up his money, not that it's anyone else's business.

Ring issues

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