Pre-wedding Parties

Ugh. How do you feel about this?

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Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?

  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:240350f9-24de-40c6-9bc3-03c88a474809">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whatever, you obviously either didn't read or weren't paying much attention to all of my posts. Therefore everything you just wrote was a complete waste of time and I am going to completely forget that you wrote anything at all. Thanks fir nothing.
    Posted by regfalange[/QUOTE]

    That was a little mean and uncalled for. I think she read all of the posts and commented on them from a very logical and well-thought out stance. I still disagree with strip clubs but I understood her points and respect them. You should too.

    I hope you were able to talk with your FI and get across to him how you feel about the situation. Using "I feel" statements is very good advice.
  • allisonkbyeallisonkbye member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    strip clubs are for old creepy men who have nothing better to do. 
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:f85545d0-03c1-4f1a-a475-ec8d19d62f12">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]strip clubs are for old creepy men who have nothing better to do. 
    Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]

    Clearly you've never been in one.
  • allisonkbyeallisonkbye member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:4204ae1a-9b46-41bb-a7ab-5bf1197af8c2">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this? : Clearly you've never been in one.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    <div>i have. and my opinion is that they are for old creepy men</div>
  • edited December 2011
    it sounds like your really upset abt it, so have a serious talk to your fi abt it away from his friends- i would feel the same and my fi feels even more strongly abt me seeing strippers - i totally understand, and just bc a couple isnt into that isnt a bad thing- i think its. good thing, but to each their own- and canada... let it go strippers are strippers its not like they said all canaidians are terrible people, theyre talking abt strippers- if someone said something abt strippers from vegas i wouldnt be offended... theyre strippers... in vegas.. what do you expect- and dont be so proud. that yiur strippers arent prostitutes, canada has to have something better to brag abiut than that- idk what but there has to be something
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:e6e4c7f2-b154-4ad5-a936-cb5cc8a287a0">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You should trust him not to do anything wrong.  I believe that if a guy was a dirtbag to cheat at his bachelor party, then he was a dirtbag before then and will be after the wedding.  Guys usually don't do wildy innappropriate things just because it's their bachelor party-- more than likely they were doing inappropriate things before then! I'm fine with my FI going to a strip clubs because I trust him.  If I didn't, I wouldn't be marrying him.  However, if this bothers you so much you should talk to him and he should respect your feelings.
    Posted by Hellokatie0517[/QUOTE]

    This exactly!
  • edited December 2011
    OP,  I pretty much feel the same way as you do.  I don't like the idea of a woman grinding her almost nude body on my fiance.  He can look all he wants, but touching another woman is disrespectful to me.  I wouldn't want a man to do that to me because I know that it would be disrespectful to my fiance.  

    As for the Stage issue.  She is very wise, fair, polite, and logical.  I don't think that her remarks were offensive.  From what I can tell, she's not out to flame people.  I think you misinterpreted her posts.  

    Stage, I think that your analogy about watching the film was fair.  However, I think there is a difference between watching something that is a turn-on and actual physical contact.  As I stated earlier, my FI is free to look at whatever he wants, such as strippers, porn, hell even live porn.  But touching and joining is a no-no to me.  
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:6d917f1a-24f9-4880-b67a-8c4cea1061fb">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this? : i have. and my opinion is that they are for old creepy men
    Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]

    What does that even mean?  If you've been in one are YOU a creepy old man?

    They're for anyone who wants to go in them - and of the ones I've been inside, most in attendance were well under the age of 50.   You can dislike them all you want but don't state that they're for a specific demographic based on your opinion and not fact.
  • edited December 2011
    you keep saying MontreaL is the worst of the worst...  I do not agree, a strip club in mtl is the same as in the US...  and I think you should trust him... I agree with ppl who said that if he cheats on the bachelor night party, he was probably cheating  before and will probably continue once ure married....  You should have a good talk with ure FI

    I personaly do not disagree with my FI going to a strip club, I trust him!
  • edited December 2011
    I totally agree with you, I live in MTL, and they are not prostitutes ,,, it's a bit insulting!
  • pretzelgrrlpretzelgrrl member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:f85545d0-03c1-4f1a-a475-ec8d19d62f12">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]strip clubs are for old creepy men who have nothing better to do. 
    Posted by allisonkbye[/QUOTE]



    I totally agree...strip clubs are way sleazy
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Well everyone can settle down now, I got what I wanted.  They are not going to Montreal.  And I don't care what anyone says, I have heard from MANY people that the strippers in Montreal will basically do ANYTHING.  And if you didn't get what you wanted inside, you can step right outside where there is plethora of prostitutes.

    A few of you continue to say that I am worried he will cheat on me, and if he did then he probably already has, etc.
    I never said that I thought he would cheat on me.  I know he won't.  We have both been in relationships with ppl who have cheated and know how it feels.  That was NEVER a concern, and nor did I voice that in my OP, I think. Didn't read it again before posting this, so oopsie, if I did.

    In the end I know they are going to a strip club, and I know his BM and another groomsman (who by the way are the only 2 in the bridal party who do not have girlfriends) are going to bring up the lap dance.  I will tell him that obviously its his choice.  But should he choose to, then it is his own conscience he has to live with, because he did something that I fully expressed I was very uncomfortable with and he is only hurting me and himself.

    Thanks for everyone's responses.  I know this was a heated topic.  And I never said that Canada as a country was bad or whores, or whatever I said.  I was strictly talking about the strip clubs, so you can get your panties out of a bunch now.
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Oh OK I get it.

    Not all strip clubs in Canada are bad.  Just the strip clubs in Montreal are bad. 

    And apparently where you live Montreal gets to be in a class all by itself.  So you can insult Montreal and that's not an insult to anyone from Canada.  So it's fine if your FI goes off to a strip club in another city but in Montreal the strippers are basically whores and if he doesn't want to cheat on you with a whore inside the strip club, he has a vast array of whores right outside the club.

    The strippers where your FI will have is bachelor party are the non-whore type.
  • edited December 2011
    I honestly don't care if you people are insulted about the Canada stuff. Stop twisting my words and get over it.
    Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain....
  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm not twisting your words. I'm restating what you said.
  • KaraSutherlinKaraSutherlin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A real man will spend his life looking longingly at the person he has pledged himself to, not go looking for sexual entertainment through another woman's body. I just had a chat with my fiance and told him if I ever found out he had strippers at his bachelor party I wouldn't marry him! Here are my reasons:
    1) There is no reason for a man who supposedly loves and adores his woman to spend time and money to pay to have someone else jiggle their boobs and a$$ in his face. It isn't just disrespectful, it is hypocritical. Here is why:
    2) He is willing to pay someone else's daughter to work for their money by disrespecting/ selling themselves, but he would never be okay with that from a loved one, just someone else's loved one.
    3) Women in sexual servanthood (i.e. porn industry, strippers, prostitutes) much more often than not have a history of being sexually abused, and are now exploiting themselves because they never learned how to have autonomy over their bodies, or to respect themselves.

    I want to marry someone who had a deep desire to honor me and our relationship, respect himself, and respect and care about other women. I will take, and deserve, nothing less. My fiance agrees, thankfully.
  • MandK9MandK9 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah I really don't like that high-and-mighty tone coming across in some of these posts.  I don't have a negative opinion of strippers themselves. And lots of them are stripping because they like stripping, and don't feel degraded by it at all.  So it's not cool to put your judgment on them as if you're looking out for their best interests. It's just patronizing and better-than-thou.




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  • jsquared62009jsquared62009 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_ugh-feel-this?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:415df79d-5e3f-4558-8196-89c48a83ea75Post:2893d63f-ee27-46a2-8710-afb464a7700e">Re: Ugh. How do you feel about this?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the PP who said to talk to you FI and let him know how you feel. My FI and I have agreed we will not partake in anything like that. At all. To me <strong><font color="#800000">it isn't about trust, it's about respect.</font></strong> I don't think a man going to see (ogle) naked women as being very respectful to his FI, girlfriend or wife.(whatever the case is for him) Probably not a popular idea these days but that's how I feel and I was lucky to find a man who is good with it. EDITED
    Posted by blush64[/QUOTE]


    THIS...it's definitely about respect and if you're not ok with it then say something!!! Like pp have said, just be rational tell him how it feels to picture naked/semi naked girls around him and that should be enough to get him to agree to go a different route
    Vacation
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