WTF?!?

NOLABridesmaid · February 2012

Sarah, it can still be fun.

Why does one person not being there determine if you enjoy your wedding? It seems like this decision is impulsive, and maybe you need to pump your brakes, and discuss this with your FI.

How old are you, may I ask?

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

I'm 30. Working on my graduate degree in biology. Very smart, just letting my gaurde down because nobody I know will read this.

If my best friend doesn't go, then his best man WILL go. Or would have gone. I'm not making people go if they're going to think of my wedding as a pain in the @ss. I just want people to be happy for me, not annoyed.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

And obviously if you people are all saying that this idea sucks, then it does. The truth hurts sometimes, but I'd rather find out this way than find out after things are booked.

MinM · February 2012

What do YOU want? What does Richard want? Why don't you answer those questions (and for the love of Pete, pay for it yourself, or with money people have given you...DON'T ASK FOR CASH), and then see how to best fit friends and family into the picture.

If avoiding PissPants Aunt is a priority, go to Jamaica with the folks who want to go.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2012

This might be the first time anyone has said that.:)

And obviously if you people are all saying that this idea sucks, then it does

hmonkey · February 2012

what in the what.

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wtf-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9e8f96c1-b671-486d-a720-1cfbd8d7f90fPost:6111b82e-94ca-4b2a-aa0e-d6c0fa80a6fd">Re: WTF?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]And obviously if you people are all saying that this idea sucks, then it does. The truth hurts sometimes, but I'd rather find out this way than find out after things are booked.
Posted by SarahSvrjcek[/QUOTE]

Calm down.

I had a destination wedding at Sandals, however, it was just the two of us (we didn't invite people). A destination wedding is fine, however, you have to know that not everyone can go - even if you do pay. That is what happens when you plan a wedding out of the country. Your wedding is about you - your guests are NOT getting a vacation. They are just traveling to see you get married so it isn't a fun vacation you are paying for. Your plan is fine, but just know that not everyone you want to go can and won't act like they won a prize. Stop acting like she should be jumping up and down. Going on a trip <strong>just</strong> to attend a wedding isn't everyone's dream. I get that you want to pay, but don't act like you are giving them the golden ticket or something.

But do not under any circumstances fundraise for your wedding, that is as tacky and rude as you can get.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

So how do I politely encourage people to help us financially rather than spend their money on bridal/wedding gifts?

"If avoiding PissPants Aunt is a priority" lol! She peed in the backseat of my sister's car. Swear to god.

No, I can't go if people have to fake the happiness. It's not the same as them being 100% happy to be there to experience this with me. This is a rite of passage into a better life. This is huge huge HUGE for me. Richard's family is...the "nice" kind of country folk, not the toothless kind like in my family (not kidding), and they are all such kind, sweet people.

Uh oh, Richard's texting me. My quick little finger already texted him that I'm backing out of the idea.

E Squared · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wtf-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:9e8f96c1-b671-486d-a720-1cfbd8d7f90fPost:079bb8a7-ddf8-4d36-9617-8b535d98a0d7">Re: WTF?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]So how do I politely encourage people to help us financially rather than spend their money on bridal/wedding gifts?
Posted by SarahSvrjcek[/QUOTE]

<div>You don't. </div><div><em>You Don't.</em>
<div><strong><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#ff0000">YOU.</font></strong></div><div><strong><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#ff0000">DON'T.</font></strong></div><div>
</div></div>

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

"You don't.

You Don't.

YOU.DON'T."

LOL! I'm so glad I came on this site! I was seriously going to just tell people to donate. *shakes head* This etiquette thing gets people so uppity. Weird. Glad I got this cleared up, y'all.

redheadfsu · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wtf-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9e8f96c1-b671-486d-a720-1cfbd8d7f90fPost:079bb8a7-ddf8-4d36-9617-8b535d98a0d7">Re: WTF?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>So how do I politely encourage people to help us financially rather than spend their money on bridal/wedding gifts?</strong>"If avoiding PissPants Aunt is a priority" lol! She peed in the backseat of my sister's car. Swear to god. No, I can't go if people have to fake the happiness. It's not the same as them being 100% happy to be there to experience this with me. This is a rite of passage into a better life. This is huge huge HUGE for me. Richard's family is...the "nice" kind of country folk, not the toothless kind like in my family (not kidding), and they are all such kind, sweet people. Uh oh, Richard's texting me. My quick little finger already texted him that I'm backing out of the idea.
Posted by SarahSvrjcek[/QUOTE]

1. Don't register.

2.<strong> If</strong> people ask you what you want or where you are registered, "Oh we don't need anything for our house, we are just saving for married life." Then change the subject. People will get the hint, but do not under any circumstances say that you want cash.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2012

How are you going to change plans without talking to him first, and no you didn't text the man on top of it?

hmonkey · February 2012

YES, NOLA, YES.

redheadfsu · February 2012

And I thought you already paid? You (and him) are ok with losing the deposit?

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

We did a lot of planning with a a"celebration of marriage" idea origionally. We were going to get married totally alone in Jamaica and then have a nice reception (at a haunted house!) with a "country in the winter" theme. Very romantic white on white, birdcages, that sort of thing...

I have to write the venue lady back TONIGHT. He says that he would rather do the true destination wedding, but he wants "whatever makes Honey happy". He treats me like such a princess. I'm so lucky to have him.

So that's why this seems so impulsive. We had such a nice date last night. He had roses delivered to our table at some fancy restaurant. It was totally romantic and we were holding hands over the table talking about how much it would mean to me to have my dad walk me down the aisle. And I know that he would enjoy having his family there. We sat there and talked about it like it WAS the Golden Ticket, you know?

But you guys gave us a reality check. Well, you and my mean-@ssfriend....

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

We will still be getting married in Jamaica. We will just be alone. (It's only a $100 deposit, btw). At first, we did what the one bride said and didn't invite anyone so that nobody would feel excluded.

ReturnOfKuus · February 2012

Just don't invite Piss Pants Aunt. And that goes not just for your reception, but for any event where there will be upholstery.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2012

and then have a nice reception (at a haunted house!) with a "country in the winter" theme. Very romantic white on white, birdcages, that sort of thing...

Kill me dead, y'all.

Sarah, I like you, and want you to come back. PLEASE.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

I don't think you get it. If I didn't invite the addicts and drunks...there wouldn't be..anybody there.

...Do you understand now? This sort of disorder is dominant.

*Barbie* · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_wtf-24?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9e8f96c1-b671-486d-a720-1cfbd8d7f90fPost:b763b484-535b-4588-9e01-fc22903a5026">Re: WTF?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]We will still be getting married in Jamaica. We will just be alone. (It's only a $100 deposit, btw). At first, we did what the one bride said and didn't invite anyone so that nobody would feel excluded.
Posted by SarahSvrjcek[/QUOTE]

i have friends who did this and it made them very happy.

as the others have siad, it's rude to ask for cash. if i want to get you a gift, i'd much rather buy you a third blender or something for your home, or give you cash to buy a house/make home improvements/etc. than send someone to your DW.

DW take a lot of time and resources for anyone involved. if you have ever traveled anywhere international, you would know that a 4 hour international flight is easily an 8 hour trip - drive to airport, security, wait for flight, possible delays with plane, actual flight time, disembark, go through customs, get transfer, travel to resort.

DW are always going to exclude people - you need to be prepared to give up having people there if you really want the DW

also, you're going to need to be legally married in the states, anyways, so you could always have a lowkey dinner for your preferred guests after the courthouse wedding.

ReturnOfKuus · February 2012

No one there = fewer people to feed. It's a blessing, trust me.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

My family will almost definitely be smoking weed in Jamaica if they can get their hands on it. (Fingers crossed that the beaches really are private), and that's the goode ones. Again, not kidding. My dad might try bringing pills and he might toke with my sister. It should still be interesting -- just not scarring. They might not even have enough time there to be bad.

If we have the reception at home -- oh god, it could be really really bad. I would have to invite Pissy Pants. She's about to drink herself to death like my mom did. The weddings in January, and she probably won't even live until then. I have to invite her though. I love her.

NOLABridesmaid · February 2012

Sarah, you're going to come back tomorrow, right?

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

COUNTRY WEDDIN'! YEEHAW!!!

ReturnOfKuus · February 2012

You don't have to invite her. You really don't. You can love a person, and still say "I'm not inviting you to my events because you can't stay sober and behave yourself." In fact, that's the kind of thing you SHOULD have been doing all along. People don't stop destructive behavior if everyone around them acts like it's okay.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

Crap! Why do I keep putting "e"s on the end of things???

Come back tomorrow? I don't know.. this website sucks me in because it moves so fast...and a couple of the comments made me laugh. You're entertaining me so well...but you people...arg!...you'rejustsobitchy. No offense.

Screw, it, I'll see y'all tomorrow.

*Barbie* · February 2012

you should invite pissy pants aunt, but insist that she wear an adult diaper in your wedding colors, just in case.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

Re: "low-key dinner for your preferred guests"

Okay, now this was the ORIGIONAL origional plan. Then we sat down to do the guest list -- and came up with 70-100 people! Yikes!

It's just that for my family, on my Mom's side there is at least 1 alcoholic&pill abuser (BOTH, people!), in each family...er, what I mean is, my Uncle
Angry Drunk and Pissy Pants. They, by the way are sworn enemies. If I don't invite them, I can't invite anyone in that family. My uncle has a wife and two daughters that would not be coming. Now, on the other-hand, Pissy Pant's daughters and their kids and babydaddies were the ones that I was having on the "do not invite" list. See, Pissy Pants is actually one of the better ones. You really really don't understand. This is actually the type of the iceburg when it comes to my family. My sister and I are both actually considering writing books about life growing up with these freaks because you wouldn't even understand. If I told you, you would think I made it all up.

ReturnOfKuus · February 2012

No, I believe you. I just don't think you should invite any of them. It's less worry for you, plus more money staying in your pocket.

SarahSvrjcek · February 2012

BWAHAHA!!!

"you should invite pissy pants aunt, but insist that she wear an adult diaper in your wedding colors, just in case."

Winner!!!
That's the funniest shiz I've read all day!

WTF?!?

Re: WTF?!?

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