Name Change ~ Second Thoughts

bmd14 · March 2010

I changed my name yesterday and dropped my middle name, made my maiden name my new middle name and took his last name. My friends are having a fit over this and say I should have kept my middle name and either hyphenated or just dropped my maiden name all together. Now I'm second guessing my decision. How are you doing the name changes? Thanks!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

I'm just staying the same, since I can't bear to part with any of my names.

Don't worry about what your friends think. I assume you thought this through for more than 5 minutes. Do whatever feels right to you.

Lylad · March 2010

I was given 4 names to start with (first, middle, mom's last, dad's last). Since I think that 5 names is too unwieldy, and I don't want to just get rid of any of my current names, nothing will change.

Do whatever feels best for you.

salt78 · March 2010

Why would your friends care what you do with your name?

I did exactly the same thing that you did.

Just because your middle name is silent now doesn't mean that you can never mention it again.

Miss_Sophia · March 2010

I already have a long name, a double first name, a family middle name (of which I'm very attached) and my madien name of course. I am choosing to legally keep all of my names and take my fiance's last name. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but it doesn't matter how long or how many names you have, it just depends on how you want to sign for things. I don't plan on using all of my names to sign checks or things at work, shoot, I don't even do that now, haha

My feelings are, keep the names that you want, they're your names

and sign your name the way you want to.

megk8oz · March 2010

It's your name. You're the one who needs to sign it "for as long as you both shall live". If this is the name you wanted, why does it matter that your friends don't like what you chose?

bmd14 · March 2010

It doesn't matter what my firends think I was just curious what other people were doing. I was really torn whether to keep my middle name from the get go.

jennylove810 · March 2010

I know several girls who have done exactly what you did. Don't sweat it, and tell your friends to shaddup.

cantabile730 · March 2010

Your decision is classic - it's traditional to use your maiden name as your middle name after you get married, e.g. Laura Ingalls Wilder. I'm actually surprised your friends haven't known someone else who's done the same. I am considering that option for myself as well, since I am more attached to my birth name than my middle name.

Fystybride · March 2010

I am taking my maiden name as my new middle name and his name as my last....easy-squeezy.

megk8oz · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_name-change-second-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:a339b685-6e31-4ba4-86c3-6d1415192f23Post:a0391188-ba37-40be-85a1-961c7adaff6b">Re: Name Change ~ Second Thoughts</a>:
[QUOTE]It doesn't matter what my firends think I was just curious what other people were doing. I was really torn whether to keep my middle name from the get go.
Posted by bmd14[/QUOTE]

Well, considering when I was with my ex-boyfriend, he was under the impression if I didn't do what you did, then I wasn't like allowed to be legally married or something. I'm serious. I had told him once I planned to completely drop my maiden name and be Mrs First Middle DH's Last (Which is exactly what I did with DH). He completely flipped out saying women weren't allowed to do that, that your "new" name had to be "Mrs First Maiden Last" ... you could only keep your middle name if you hyphenated.

Granted, he was an idiot and a complete tool, but if he was convinced that's a woman's only name option, there must be some weight to the "it's an incredibly common thing to do" arguement.

Again, it's your name, you need to be happy with it.

mewebster59 · March 2010

I am doing exactly what you did

sophs_ro · March 2010

I'm keeping my name exactly as it is and not taking his name.

A couple of reasons-

1- I'm going to keep my middle name because, even though i hate it(!) my mum chose it for me and i don't want to drop it because of that reason.

2- I'm not actually a huge fan of my last name (took my step dad's name when my mum got married because i had her maiden name before) but if i take his last name i will have two S names and the alliteration just doesn't sound right in this case.

I may be wrong but i haven't really heard of many people dropping the middle name and replacing with maiden name etc thing in the UK, i think it is more common to double barrel the last name or drop the maiden name altogether and just take his last name. I've thought about double barrelling my name but the two name are very common last names and i don't think it sounds right. Our future kids can take his name, i don't mind about that

It's interesting to hear about all the things people are doing though! Some of them i would have never have thought of!!!

WhatawagSBNy · March 2010

    I kept my own name, as is.

    You should use a name you want not what others want. You chose one of the more common options, discarding a middle name and using your first, family, then husband's name.

    Friends should do you the courtesy of calling you what you wish to be called, and otherwise, mind their own business.

maggyruth · March 2010

I'm planning on keeping my middle name and moving my maiden to a middle name...so I'll have 2. It's a bizarre thing...I really don't have a familial reason to keep the maiden name...I just like it, so I want keep it in some way. I never knew that moving the maiden name to a middle name was a possibility until I read about it here on TK.

sweetep15 · March 2010

I am dropping my maiden name and taking FI's last name. We have also decided to use my maiden name as a middle name for a future child male or female. My maiden name is Blaine and I personally know both a male and a female with a first name of Blaine, so this option seemed like a great plan because I really like my maiden name, but I didn't want to not take FI's middle name and I didn't really want to have four names.

It seems like there are so many options these days! I loved reading what everyone else was doing!

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Name Change ~ Second Thoughts

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