Registry and Gift Forum

Down Payment Registry

Has anyone ever heard of this??


I LOVE this idea but I don't know what etiquette dictates.  Has anyone ever used/seen/contributed to something like this????

Re: Down Payment Registry

  • Holy god - really?  Please read this post.

    http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_cash-registry-anyone-experience-this

    And as a wedding guest, I feel no obligation to pay for YOUR HOUSE.  My god.
    GB520doeydo
  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_down-payment-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:2d2ba232-0813-4a5a-a84b-f90357f7db5dPost:6ce0cc61-06ae-490f-ba06-b9de2146a62d">Down Payment Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Has anyone ever heard of this?? <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/">http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/</a> I LOVE this idea but I don't know what etiquette dictates.  Has anyone ever used/seen/contributed to something like this????
    Posted by djanelli[/QUOTE]
    This is the main reason why I hate things like this (aside from guests knowing that cash is a preferred gift and they can just write a check directly to the B&G without having to do this crap).  The guests don't know that the cash gift they're giving the B&G isn't going to be the full amount they will receive.  Registries like this are deceiving to the gift giver.  This is directly from their website under FAQ for B&G:<div>
    </div><div><span style="color:#e7e6f3;font-family:Verdana, Arial, Geneva, Helvetica, sans-serif;-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing:10px;-webkit-border-vertical-spacing:10px;font-size:small;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><p style="line-height:15px;font-size:11px;padding-top:5px;padding-right:5px;padding-bottom:12px;padding-left:5px;display:block;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:#6c6996;color:#ffffff;margin:0px;">The registration fee for your personal wedding page and down payment registry is $50. This fee is completely REFUNDABLE if you take advantage of our <a style="color:#d6cbea;text-decoration:underline;" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/real-estate-agent-referral-service.aspx">real estate agent referral service</a> and complete the purchase of a home using the agent referred to you. In this case you will also receive a gift card with a value of up to $300 as a house-warming gift from DownPaymentDreams.com. See our <a style="color:#d6cbea;text-decoration:underline;" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/downpayment-dreams-use-policies.aspx#dpd-RefundPolicy">refund policy</a> for more details.</p><p style="line-height:15px;font-size:11px;padding-top:5px;padding-right:5px;padding-bottom:12px;padding-left:5px;display:block;background-image:initial;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;background-color:#6c6996;color:#ffffff;margin:0px;">Please be aware that PayPal charges transaction fees based on contributions to your down payment registry. For information about fees charged by PayPal please <a style="color:#d6cbea;text-decoration:none;" rel="nofollow" href="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_display-fees-outside" target="_blank">click here</a>.</p></span></div>
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • It's rude to ask people to give you money.  People give cash on their own and know it's an appropriate and welcome wedding gift.  

    Also, that particular website looks scam-y.  For example:
    The registration fee for your personal wedding page and down payment registry is $50. This fee is completely REFUNDABLE if you take advantage of our real estate agent referral service and complete the purchase of a home using the agent referred to you. In this case you will also receive a gift card with a value of up to $300 as a house-warming gift from DownPaymentDreams.com. See our refund policy for more details.

    doeydo
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_down-payment-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:2d2ba232-0813-4a5a-a84b-f90357f7db5dPost:6ce0cc61-06ae-490f-ba06-b9de2146a62d">Down Payment Registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Has anyone ever heard of this?? <a href="http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.downpaymentdreams.com/</a> I LOVE this idea but <strong>I don't know what etiquette dictates</strong>.  Has anyone ever used/seen/contributed to something like this????
    Posted by djanelli[/QUOTE]

    <div>Etiquette is crying.</div><div>
    </div><div>Cash registries are crazy rude.  </div>
    doeydo
  • Seriously there is a cash registry post 2 posts down and numerous other similar posts on this board. Read much?


  • A downpayment registry is different than a cash registry because of some poor conceived logic I'm sure some AE will come up with. Duh, guys. Those other threads don't apply here, obviously. Registries that ask guests to contribute cash of any kind always has a catch. In this case the site is asking you to pay to use their site AND pay for the payment service. Meanwhile, spreading around through word of mouth that you're saving up for a home is free.
    image
  • I know why this seems like a good idea- but trust me, it's tacky. Either register for gifts or register for your favourite charity.

  • Eep, Kate, I would not suggest registering for a charity. It's still asking for cash, just a different workaround.

    Either register for gifts, or don't register.
    doeydo
  • Total scam.  A tacky one at that.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    doeydo
  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Begging for money is not classy.
    doeydo
  • I don't see anything wrong with it. If it's your friends and family they might want to know that they contributed to you buying your house. Giving to a registry towards a specific item is not the same as just handing someone cash. You know it's going to a good purpose. And someone might actually prefer that then buying a set of serving spoons that will just be thrown out in a year. But since so many people obiously think it's tacky or would be offended, you would have to assume some of your friends and family might feel the same way too.
  • Really?  You dug up an eleven month dead thread?
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Ditto NYC!

    I hate to say it, but what people say to one's face is often entirely different to what people say behind one's back. Just because they didn't say it to your face doesn't mean that when you were out of earshot they didn't side-eye it and think it was rude. Just look through the threads here where people feel upset and used by demanding requests their friends getting married but didn't complain to their faces because they didn't want to hurt their feelings.  Everyone knows how to give money at a wedding- you would have to be living under a rock to not know it is a good gift. Bottom line: it is against etiquette, it is rude and a scam. Sorry to be so brutal but it is the truth.
    GB520
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2013
    Double post- apologies!
  • Why is it that brides always think guests are too stupid to figure out that people like money?
    image
    Liatris2010doeydo
  • PDKH said:

    Why is it that brides always think guests are too stupid to figure out that people like money?

    I think brides know that people are smart enough to know that people like money. They just think they are entitled to cash at their wedding so they "register" for cash to make it abundantly clear to their guests that the invitation is also an invoice and guests are expected to pay if they want to attend.
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2013
    Double post.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ok, first of all... this is the 2010's. Things are different. It is not rude, nor tacky to register for a money registry. People nowadays live together for years before getting married; therefore, have all of the things they need to live in a home already. I, for one, am HAPPY to contribute to a down payment to someone's house. Who the hell wants to spend $20 of their hard earned money on a damn toaster, if the couple does not need it? Why am I defensive? Because I did this,and EVERY SINGLE GUEST at my wedding said that this was the greatest idea EVER because they knew my husband and I had lived together for 4 years and had acquired all we needed for a home over the years.. So please, I'm not trying to start a war here, I'm simply saying.... to help someone in purchasing a new home is not tacky, rude, or begging. It's asking people to NOT waste their money on towels and microwaves if they already have it. Honey, this is YOUR wedding, and if you don't want to do a typical wedding registry (which is not a bad thing either), then don't. Do what you need to do to end this experience well... and if that is registering at downpaymentdreams.com.... than you do that. It was the best thing I ever did, and if it makes me "tacky"... then so be it. But, from experience, I didn't get an ounce of bad feedback from doing it. Everyone loved it.
    image
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    QueerFemmedoeydo
  • Except you don't actually know that that money is going toward a down payment. So you give money to the website, they take a cut, and then they give the money to the couple- with no strings attached. It's easier and less of a scam to just give them cash. And no matter what year it is you don't register for cash.
    I love giving cash instead of material items!  Go for it!  As a gifter, the only thing that matters to me is if it brings you joy and meaning - and WOW being a part of giving you a house would be much more special than towels.  I appreciate when people ask for what they want - instead of following a tradition that doesn't match their lifestyle or situation.  

  • GB520GB520 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    This is so tacky. I think it's downright rude actually. I cannot stand when people put thing  like lawn mowers on their regs either. I don't think a registry is rude it's like a wish list.it helps people know what you need or don't need to start /upgrade your household items.

    It's pretty much known that you will get money at the wedding so I would definitely advise as strongly against this. First time home buyers are able to only put down 3%. As far as I'm concerned if you are unable to save enough for a down payment you have no business  owning a house. Maybe look into rent to own if that's your situation.

  • I don't see what is wrong with wanting the "American Dream" over a bunch of clutter. We all need a home before we can ask to have it filled.
    Knottie52407346Knottie41823227
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why are you resurrecting a 2 year old post?

    It's been 2 years, and this is still disturbingly rude.  
    doeydo
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    amandaj18 said:
    I don't see what is wrong with wanting the "American Dream" over a bunch of clutter. We all need a home before we can ask to have it filled.
    Work for the damn "American Dream" like the rest of us.  And if you think items from traditional registries are "clutter", you really haven't given much thought to it. 

    doeydo
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    @knotporscha zombie
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards