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Mother is entirely unsupportive... but pouts if she's not included!?!?!?!

tairanryan5tairanryan5
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in Chit Chat
My mother has been entirely unsupportive since I got engaged August 1, 2008. She began complaining a couple of months ago that I don't include her in my wedding plans (despite the fact she is making no financial contribution). I put my dress on layaway on January 15th... and invited her to come up & see the dress I found (because it is absolutely fabulous)... but she has completely refused to speak to me now... so I don't know what is going on. Any advice? Are there any other bride's out there with the same problem?!?!?!?!?!
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Re: Mother is entirely unsupportive... but pouts if she's not included!?!?!?!

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    arixanaarixana member
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    Are you my long lost twin? My mom lost all interest in the wedding as soon as she heard it wouldn't be in the venue she wanted. Take it as a blessing, one less person to please. Talk to her about non wedding related stuff, and generally just be her daughter. She'll still show up and have a great day. Better the silence then dealing with the tantrums!
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    tairanryan5tairanryan5
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    Same here. My mom just likes having something to not like! I totally know where you are coming from! So just not talking wedding stuff helps? I will try that!!! Thanks!
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    cukimerrydollcukimerrydoll member
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    I have a tantrum mom.  And "we want you to be happy" in-laws.

    So, I'm trying to find ways to make sure my ILs are taken care of, because they have been enitrely supportive.  Try not to take your mom too personally, it's probably stress-induced.

    We can barely have a wedding in my family without at least one of the moms throwing a fit.  I know 2 weeks before my parent's wedding, my dad's mom said she wasn't going to go (my dad left the seminary to get married).  She came around, and I'm sure yours will too!

    It might be another external stressor that is causing her to pull away.  She might just be trying to make it easier instead of harder for you. 

    Focus on the people who are there for you - ask opinions from people whom you trust (or from us anonymous sources :) ), and continue planning!  If she wants to talk about it, wait for her to approach you, but don't try to push the subject.  It could very quickly turn her from silent-mode into tantrum-mode.
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    tairanryan5tairanryan5
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    cukimerrydoll, my future MIL is super supportive. She is willing to do anything to help. My grandmother is also very supportive. I'm pretty nervous because my parents are coming up to TN from GA to see the wedding dress I've chosen & have on layaway. I have a feeling it will be a MOM-ZILLA tantrum!!!!

    abj2010, I am trying to just not bring up the wedding... but I know it's a conversation we have to have. She cried & temper tantrumed to my college roommate last week b/c I chose a Baseball team my fiance is a fan of (even though I am not), as a way of giving him something in the wedding that is just for him. She thinks he is controlling my wedding (but in reality, he just wants to show up. If it was up to him, we'd just elope & not deal with all the wedding stuff... but where's the fun in that?!?!?!?!?!?!?!)

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