wedding planner crisis!

JessicaPop · May 2012

Let me start off by saying that my wedding is August 5th, 2012! Everything is pretty much planned out but we've hit a huge wall. My wedding planner has been deported to Mexico. He planned my friend's wedding and did such a great job that my dad hired him for my wedding. We gave him a $2,000 deposit and he was responsible for pretty much everything except for the catering and a few decorations that I wanted to do myself. Well now this guy had fallen off the face of the earth and his "company" is no where to be found. He assured us that if anything were to happen he had a back-up and we even signed a contract! I looked the company up online and called them but the numbers are all disconected!! I have no way of getting in contact with anyone!! I'm afraid that if I go to the police they won't be able to do anything because he is illegal and deported. I did not know he was illegal and he seemed so legit, I mean we trusted him he goes to church with us and did so many of my friend's weddings. Anyways we are now out of $2,000 and I have no DJ, linens, decorations, servers, bartender, silverware, centerpieces, nothing!!! It's almost 2 months before the wedding and I am freaking out! Could someone please help me and tell me where did you find your natural flowers, table linens, and what did you use for silverware and drinkware?? I'm having to start all over and the wedding is in like 2 months!

bonge · May 2012

Oh wow how heartbreaking. I would have been checking on everything much earlier than this though (to see who he had), that is a lot of the reason i could never leave it all up to someone else.

I would xp this on the atlanta board, they are your locals so they would have better advice for you.

Maggie0829 · May 2012

Have you sent out your invitations? If not, would you and your FI be up to pushing back your wedding a few months to give yourself more time to find the vendors you need?

Like PP said, I would have been checking in with my wedding planner on a regular basis to make sure everything was getting done and what vendors were booked. I am sure planners are suppose to keep their brides in the loop since the brides (or whoever is hosting) will be footing the bills for everything.

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

The police are not going to enforce your contract for you. That's your responsibility. You say that he included a backup person in case he wasn't available. Why isn't this person's name, number and signature on your contract? You should have insisted that he be included if you wanted to rely on that guarantee. Anyway, you aren't going to get your $2K back from someone who has been deported, and you can be sure that his business is judgment proof.

I agree with PP. Since none of your planning has been done and you've been totally out of the loop, you probably need to push the date back and start over. Do you even have a venue?

I can't get over not even knowing whether he'd lined up any vendors. Didn't it seem strange that you didn't have to pay deposits for DJs and caterers? This is so bizarre.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

I'm sorry JessicaPop. This is horrible, and these other knotties are not giving you kind words. Instead of telling you what you *should* have done, they should be trying to help you. My advice would be to keep your wedding date and find another wedding planner in your area. They are usually pretty good at doing things last minute. Since I am not from Atlanta (or anywhere near it), I agree that you should post this again on that board. Good luck with everything!! I believe you can do it

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-planner-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:6aefbb4f-5d42-46b1-9ef4-e313cec08293Post:2856a7df-b7be-43f5-b087-3c8bf45f0b6d">Re: wedding planner crisis!</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry JessicaPop. This is horrible, and these other knotties are not giving you kind words. Instead of telling you what you *should* have done, they should be trying to help you. My advice would be to keep your wedding date and find another wedding planner in your area. They are usually pretty good at doing things last minute. Since I am not from Atlanta (or anywhere near it), I agree that you should post this again on that board. Good luck with everything!! I believe you can do it :)
Posted by pamelaj16[/QUOTE]

<div>Good plan. Rather than help her, give her unrealistic expectations and no help at all. It might sound nice, but it isn't going to get her anywhere. </div>

[Deleted User] · May 2012

JessicaPop please don't listen to them. Until you have exhausted every option, don't give up. It is possible. These boards are created for advice and support, not people who aren't going to be nice. I'm not giving you false hope. I don't think it will be easy, but I do think it is possible. It will really come down to what you are willing to sacrifice. If having the wedding in August is most important, you will find a way to make it work. If the linens and stuff are more important, then consider pushing the date back, but it is not the only option. It makes me sad that there are people on this website that are not supportive and helpful, and only want to point out your mistakes. They happen and you can't go back and fix them. All you can do is move forward with a good attitude and do what is right for you. Again, good luck and best wishes.

rlavach · May 2012

Wait, I don't understand. How do you know that he was here illegally & has been deported if you can't reach him by any of the numbers? Who told you this?

Anyway, I don't think you really need to postpone your wedding. I'd definitely check your local board for help on finding vendors. This late in the game, some of the good ones may already be taken for your date, but some may not. You're just going to have to roll your sleeves up and really work on getting these vendors fast. Worry about your lost money later.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

I think it is completely possible to plan a wedding in two months... just focus on all the important things that you really want and it will eliminate all the uneccesaries!

[Deleted User] · May 2012

Well I'm sorry if I'm alone here, but I don't think telling a stressed out bride what she should have done is going to help her at all. Yes, it is important for future brides to know what to do, and what not to do, but saying it as if you are telling this bride that she is stupid for not doing something is not the way to go. This is just my opinion, I guess, but I think that being helpful and supportive to this bride will show future brides that they can post their questions and concerns here without feeling like they will be yelled at, and get negative comments.

shannyb41 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-planner-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:6aefbb4f-5d42-46b1-9ef4-e313cec08293Post:03c72654-c03a-47ba-adf4-254fc452e645">Re: wedding planner crisis!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I'm sorry if I'm alone here, but I don't think telling a stressed out bride what she should have done is going to help her at all. Yes, it is important for future brides to know what to do, and what not to do, but saying it as if you are telling this bride that she is stupid for not doing something is not the way to go. This is just my opinion, I guess, but I think that being helpful and supportive to this bride will show future brides that they can post their questions and concerns here without feeling like they will be yelled at, and get negative comments.
Posted by pamelaj16[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with you on this, so you're not alone.

I think its possible to plan it in 2 months. It's going to be hard and you will have to seriously prioritize but it can be done. But if you think it will be too stressful (and I am sure it will be) then push back your date if you haven't sent out the invites.

But the other posters did give some great advice. I would check out your local boards...those girls will really be able to help you find vendors etc. I always get great information from the girls on my local boards.

Worst case scenario, you have to push the wedding back. But its not the end of the world. You and your fiance will still get married, as planned, and it will be great.

Let us know how everything goes. Good luck!

MyNameIsNot · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-planner-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:6aefbb4f-5d42-46b1-9ef4-e313cec08293Post:03c72654-c03a-47ba-adf4-254fc452e645">Re: wedding planner crisis!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I'm sorry if I'm alone here, but I don't think telling a stressed out bride what she should have done is going to help her at all. Yes, it is important for future brides to know what to do, and what not to do, but saying it as if you are telling this bride that she is stupid for not doing something is not the way to go. This is just my opinion, I guess, but I think that being helpful and supportive to this bride will show future brides that they can post their questions and concerns here without feeling like they will be yelled at, and get negative comments.
Posted by pamelaj16[/QUOTE]

<div>No one is yelling. </div><div>
</div><div>You are the only one who absolutely refuses to offer any constructive advice. You are telling her that it's all going to be ok, but after all these posts, you have yet to offer one single piece of helpful advice.</div><div>
</div><div>Telling her it's all going to be ok is not helping. It's hurting her. </div>

QueerFemme · May 2012

Are you certain that nothing is booked? Did you have any input in picking your DJ, caterer, etc? Do you already have the venue?   I can't believe you are 2 months out and don't have ANY information on those items. You didn't specifically mention venue or caterer in your post, so I'm hoping you at least have those.

As fas as the $2,000.00 goes... that money is gone. that ship has sailed and you have to try to let that go.

If you already have the venue, and the caterer, talk to them and ask for help with ordering linens and hiring servers. As fas as the DJ goes, it may not be ideal, but have someone start building an ipod playlist and rent speakers.   Centerpieces are not a big deal. Do you have a florist making your bouquets, etc?   If so, talk to them about doing some simple centerpieces. Even a bud vase with a single flower.

If you have the "big stuff" (food, venue, officiant), you can rent tableware, linens from a party supply place easily.

if you DON'T have the big stuff, you are going to need to either change your date, or scale back your vision significantly. You can still get married on that date, but you may need to have a simple cake/punch reception. And you are going to have to do a LOT of legwork in the next two months. You need to ask yourself if you are prepared for that.

[Deleted User] · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-planner-crisis?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:6aefbb4f-5d42-46b1-9ef4-e313cec08293Post:69c938df-277b-4895-bc27-a137051d5956">Re: wedding planner crisis!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wedding planner crisis! : No one is yelling. You are the only one who absolutely refuses to offer any constructive advice. You are telling her that it's all going to be ok, but after all these posts, you have yet to offer one single piece of helpful advice. Telling her it's all going to be ok is not helping. It's hurting her.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]

First of all, I started by giving her advice. I said she should post to her local board and ask for help there. I also said that she should look for another wedding planner. Your only piece of advice was to push the date back. Obviously neither of us can say what is helping her and what is hurting her for sure because we aren't her, but I personally would rather hear someone say "its going to be ok, have hope!" Now, I am done responding to this because this is not what the boards were meant for. All I wanted to do was let the bride know that she shouldn't loose all hope and if August is what she wants, there are ways to make it work. I'm not the only one that thinks so because others have posted saying the same thing. I said this in an earlier post, but I think it is worth repeating. I am not saying that she doesn't have her work cut out for her; she does. All I'm saying is that with the right attitude, she can make things work. If it becomes too difficult or stressful or expensive or whatever, by all means she should push the date back, but it is not her only option. That is all I was trying to say.

JessicaPop · May 2012

First of all this guy owns a company that has all the linens, dinnerware, servers, bartender, DJ, florist... everything! I signed the contract with him! He was deported and I know this because I called Cobb County and made sure and they let me know. Now because I signed with HIM on EVERYTHING, I've lost it ALL. I wasn't being irresponsible this is my freaking WEDDING!! The invites have been sent out and you better believe that this wedding is happening on August the 5th. I'm hiring a new wedding planner tomorrow, and yeah it might be a little more expensive but it is totally do-able. My honeymoon has been booked with plane tickets and all so this is happeneing. I'm just glad I'm not one of the poor women whose wedding is this weekend. We gave this guy the benefit of the doubt because he was a friend, so this just goes to show that even if their you "friend" read the contract over and over and research!! Thanks to some of you for the advice.

JessicaPop · May 2012

UPDATE: I found a planner and everything is set up! yay!! Oh and the company is legit... I checked. See, it is do-able.

whitneymarie504 · May 2012

You CAN plan a wedding in a short amount of time! I am proof! We got engaged May 10 of THIS year and our wedding is JUNE 23 of this year.

It was 2 weeks of SERIOUS running around but we have booked:
-our ceremony location
-our minister
-our reception location and chosen what food we will be serving
-the cake baker
-the florist (choosing arrangements Tuesday but have already booked for that date)
-the dj

We have ordered or purchased:
-my wedding gown (which has already arrived, been fitted to me and is with the seamstress now)
-my bridesmaids dresses (ship on the 23rd will be here by June 1st)
-the tuxes
-flowergirl and ring bearers attire
-all ceremony and reception pieces such as unity candles, cake server and knife, the runner for the aisle, garters, toasting flutes, guest book, flower girl basket, ring bearer pillow, etc.

We've sent out invitations and I'm even doing 2 bridal showers and my bachelorette party and he will have his bachelor party even though our engagement is so short.

I won't lie and say it's been a walk in the park but if you are willing to a lot of leg work in a little amount of time and be somewhat flexible on your options it CAN be done and be done beautifully and reasonably! HAVE FAITH!

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