Hi! I'm new new NEW to the boards. I don't know why it took me so long to discover them! Here is my situation... I have been engaged for a year and a half already - the wedding is in June. My fiance is a Navy Officer stationed in Bethesda, MD and I moved up there after I graduated college. We have been living together for a year now and for all intensive purposes we might as well be married. I feel like we're going to have the wedding and come back home and nothing will be different than how it is now. I'm not saying that's a bad thing... it's just the newness of living together has worn off and I'm getting a little tired of playing house - I really want to make it official already. Also - I have had a really hard time finding a job and in turn have no medical or dental insurance. That is the major thing. There are little things like being able to shop at the commissary by myself that would be nice too. (I literally go in and do all the shopping, and he comes in at the end and pays). My fiance and I both agree that it makes sense and would be very beneficial to me if we were legally married. So we have been debating going to the courthouse and getting it done. We would like to keep it a secret (from EVERYONE -including our parents) because I don't want anything to think less of our wedding in June.
However, my main concern is MY feelings. Though I do get frustrated that I play the wifey role already without it being real yet - I also fear that come wedding time I will regret doing the JOP thing because I would somehow have taken away some of the 'specialness,' even if no one knows but me and my fiance. So my question is - for those of you that did the JOP thing before your ceremony - did you regret it? I don't want to take away the excitement of my wedding ceremony from myself. I would gain a lot of benefits by getting married (health insurance, base access/priviledges, spousal preference for government jobs, etc...) but are the benefits worth the cost? I don't think I will regret it - but what will I feel come June? Any thoughts?