XP:Change the date

AshnRobo · January 2012

So last night FI's mother text him and said we need to change the date or his family won't be able to come.

I'm really annoyed by this because we checked with his family before setting the date. We set the date last March. The conflicts they have are things that they have known about, but never mentioned before now. Most of all, I'm just really upset that they wait until 5 months before the wedding to tell us to change it.

It wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I live in Oklahoma. We are planning an outdoor wedding for early June. Late May early June is the only time weather here is decent and predictable enough to plan for an outdoor wedding. If we have to change venues most of the decor I have will not work. That means money wasted. If we keep the venue I'll be a wreck b/c August (the month they want us to change to) is Tornado season. Plus it is hot as balls in August.

I mean, obviously we have to change the date. It just is really upsetting. Am I overreacting or do I have a right to be upset? Is this a normal thing to happen?

Megbo2012 · January 2012

Why can't his family come? Which family members, immediate?

Honestly, I think this is pretty shitty. Weddings are planned way far in advance.

acaponi87 · January 2012

Uhhh I'd be pissed as hell.

I can't think of any good reason why they can't come unless they are taking someone off life support that day. What's her reason?

chelseakopperud · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:e537356c-5a76-4a2f-9250-e1b5594aca90">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Why can't his family come? Which family members, immediate? Honestly, I think this is pretty shitty. Weddings are planned way far in advance.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

This exactly! That is SOOOOOO rude!!!

sleblanc72 · January 2012

What Meg said. This sounds like a load of crap to me and I'm sorry they're putting you through all this.

Megbo2012 · January 2012

And also? I wouldn't change it. Nope. I don't care. Unless it's something like crazy surgery that is completely necessary (which wouldn't make sense because it would be the earlier the better) it's ridiculous. It's not an appointment that can just be changed. Sorry.

BluIvory82 · January 2012

I agree! I wouldn't change it either. That is very rude! You have had this date since last year, so I just cannot understand why now they have an issue with it.

MissAmeliaPond · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:e488d213-fe01-455b-917b-ec4e0610309a">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]And also? I wouldn't change it. Nope. I don't care. Unless it's something like crazy surgery that is completely necessary (which wouldn't make sense because it would be the earlier the better) it's ridiculous. It's not an appointment that can just be changed. Sorry.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

Agree! I can't think of anything more important that could have suddenly come up that trumps attending their own son's wedding. That's extremely rude. How does your FI feel about this?

Kfudge0714 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:e537356c-5a76-4a2f-9250-e1b5594aca90">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Why can't his family come? Which family members, immediate? Honestly, I think this is pretty shitty. Weddings are planned way far in advance.
Posted by Megbo2012[/QUOTE]

agreed!! and I definitely would not be changing my date!! people are so inconsiderate!

AshnRobo · January 2012

He only has his immidiate family. His mom, two brothers and sister. His mom and little brother could come.

His older brother will still be in school. That really annoys me b/c he had access to his school schedule for quite some time. He very easily could have said that June won't work for him.

His sister's reasons are even worse. She won't have any PTO. That really bothers me b/c if my brother were getting married I would take time off work even if I ddin't get paid. It isn't like she doesn't have time to give her employer reasonable notice. Plus, how much time does she really need to miss? It is a Saturday wedding. Leave on Thursday night or Friday morning. Go back on Sunday. That is just one day!!

In his defense and his families defense, they haven't seen each other in like two or three years. I've never even met them. Well, I've met his oldest brother.

Regardless, I'm still really annoyed...

AshnRobo · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:91d7eda5-e2d2-41cd-971a-5fcd60124e1f">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP:Change the date : Agree! I can't think of anything more important that could have suddenly come up that trumps attending their own son's wedding. That's extremely rude. How does your FI feel about this?
Posted by ashbear720[/QUOTE]

He told them we would change it before he and I even had a chance to discuss it!!!

He even told them a date! And invited his sister's boyfriend!!

I was so mad at him I couldn't even speak to him last night. He kept pressing me to talk to him about it so I told him I was too upset to talk about it right now and then he got mad at me!

kelsey+brandon · January 2012

Why all of a sudden now do you have to change the date?! It's been set for almost a year now!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

Do you mind sharing with us their reasons for not being able to come. Pretty much I feel like this is BS and I would be so mad. I think it's okay for your inner Bridezilla to come out on this one.

HarperBargo · January 2012

I would be annoyed too! I also would not change the date.

sleblanc72 · January 2012

I'm still confused as to their issues. How far away from you guys are they?

peachykeen26 · January 2012

I would think they would go out of their way to make it work.
If all of the deposits are put down, make them pay you back and pay for the deposits for the new date.
This whole post really ticked me off.
My brother is a cop in one of the worst counties in GA to be a cop in and he requested off the day he started.
If they really want to be there, they will make it happen.
Skipping *one* class won't kill his brother. My FI is skipping a class for our wedding.
This is a once in a lifetime deal, strap on a pair and tell your teachers and bosses what's going on.
Just saying.

(vent done)

daria24 · January 2012

Yeah ditto PP. I don't think I would change it this late in the game, except in EXTREME circumstances. It's a pretty sh*tty thing to demand. I would probably wait a couple of days until emotions calm down, then talk it out with your FI. Why everyone's plans have to change for just a couple of people-GRRR!

Kfudge0714 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:3ece4ca0-34d6-4333-9377-269e815d3070">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Why all of a sudden now do you have to change the date?! It's been set for almost a year now!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Do you mind sharing with us their reasons for not being able to come. Pretty much I feel like this is BS and I would be so mad. I think it's okay for your inner Bridezilla to come out on this one.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

definitely agree with this!! let it out =)

chelseamb11 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:2ff9ae65-bfc7-4420-86f3-d6bed43d1cf3">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP:Change the date : He told them we would change it before he and I even had a chance to discuss it!!! He even told them a date! And invited his sister's boyfriend!! I was so mad at him I couldn't even speak to him last night. He kept pressing me to talk to him about it so I told him I was too upset to talk about it right now and then he got mad at me!
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

That is really immature of him. Would he rather you blow up at him instead? He was WAY out of line to change something as huge as your WEDDING DATE like that.

If it's on a Saturday, geez. The kid would have to only miss a half day of school (at most). Only a day to a half day (at most) of work would have to be taken off. That's messed up. You guys will lose WAY more money on deposits and stuff than what she will miss from working. Not to mention, she won't have PTO regardless of when you do it, so why does it matter?

At a minimum he should have talked to you first. But I wouldn't change it either. If they had reservations about it, they should have told you, gee, idk TEN MONTHS AGO? How rude of them. I'd call their bluff and keep it on the same day.

AshnRobo · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:3ece4ca0-34d6-4333-9377-269e815d3070">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Why all of a sudden now do you have to change the date?! It's been set for almost a year now!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Do you mind sharing with us their reasons for not being able to come. Pretty much I feel like this is BS and I would be so mad. I think it's okay for your inner Bridezilla to come out on this one.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I posted the answer to your question probably as you were writing it. Lol.

My inner Bridezilla is itching to come out! I'm just worried about the long term results of not changing the date.

To top it all off, I have been working crazy hard on the wedding lately which is why I haven't been on here in a while. I just booked two more vendors for JUNE 2ND!!! Gah.

Megbo2012 · January 2012

Yeah no. School schedules are random and I get that, but isn't your wedding on a weekend?

My cousin is having to maybe miss his graduation for his sisters wedding. He also had to miss freshman orientation for his other sister's wedding. That sucks but it's whatever. Weddings are plan years in advance and you can't always predict a school's decision for graduation dates.

And who gets PTO for a wedding? Come on.

ETA: Agree with K&B, let that Bridezilla rawr and take down the sorry people!

AshnRobo · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:a3cbe447-9474-4b55-afe2-c0d843173cb2">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still confused as to their issues. How far away from you guys are they?
Posted by sleblanc72[/QUOTE]

They live in Washington state. We live in Oklahoma. 2,136 miles. 1 day and 9 hours of driving, but they are most likely flying.

sleblanc72 · January 2012

Ya I just don't get it. If it was an issue it should have been brought up earlier. Chelsea made good points about what everyone would actually miss and frankly your Fi was out of line for telling them that crap without talking to you first. I also wouldn't blame you if you freaked out about this.

Megbo2012 · January 2012

Whoa, AND she texted you to tell you this? Seriously? That right there says it all. Your wedding isn't important enough to take one damn day off and CALL if there is a huge issue?

My Dad texts and it's ridiculous. I can only imagine. "Hi. Cnt com 2 wedding. Sry. Pls chnge date. Thnx. Dad."

Dude, you don't get charged per character. This isn't a telegram. Stop. heh

chelseakopperud · January 2012

I wouldn't change it. And I would also be mad at FI if I were you. That was very inconsiderate. I know you guys want his family there, but if they cant make it a priority then it's their loss!

kelsey+brandon · January 2012

Okay...I just saw that you posted the reasons as I was typing up my other post.

Those reasons are CRAP! And how the heck is his family so important that you change your entire wedding date for them, but they haven't seen each other in 3 years?! I'm honestly not judging their relationship, but none of those reasons are good enough. You're allowed to miss at least 2 classes at the very least and I'm pretty sure your own brother's wedding is important enough to not get paid for a day of work.

Why would she be able to take a day off a few weeks before or after your current date, but not that one day (or half day).

I'm sorry your FI is being crazy about this. I would not back down and do not give in just because he's mad at you. He has no right to be mad...YOU have all the right in the world to be mad. Seriously, I wouldn't change the wedding. Not for 2 people that were given over a year in notice.

sleblanc72 · January 2012

Kelsey is oh so wise and I agree with her 100%.

Danidawn20 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:a676d223-be58-4c49-9ddf-5c5ed216210b">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay...I just saw that you posted the reasons as I was typing up my other post. Those reasons are CRAP! And how the heck is his family so important that you change your entire wedding date for them, but they haven't seen each other in 3 years?! I'm honestly not judging their relationship, but none of those reasons are good enough. You're allowed to miss at least 2 classes at the very least and I'm pretty sure your own brother's wedding is important enough to not get paid for a day of work. Why would she be able to take a day off a few weeks before or after your current date, but not that one day (or half day). I'm sorry your FI is being crazy about this. I would not back down and do not give in just because he's mad at you. He has no right to be mad...YOU have all the right in the world to be mad. Seriously, I wouldn't change the wedding. Not for 2 people that were given over a year in notice.
Posted by kelsey+brandon[/QUOTE]

I agree with this, please let your inner bridezilla ROAR

AshnRobo · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:40c6289e-0298-4cff-9d41-d1d8d726f466">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP:Change the date : I agree with this, please let your inner bridezilla ROAR
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

Lol, only you guys could make me laugh about this!

chelseakopperud · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:40c6289e-0298-4cff-9d41-d1d8d726f466">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP:Change the date : I agree with this, please let your inner bridezilla ROAR
Posted by Danidawn20[/QUOTE]

BAHAHA! I agree!!! Let it out!

Danidawn20 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_xpchange-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:edfc645b-94a7-4b0f-b1db-b22f371bc2e7Post:5bf9a070-a802-4a75-97d0-2230c6c8fa4f">Re: XP:Change the date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: XP:Change the date : BAHAHA! I agree!!! Let it out!
Posted by chelseakopperud[/QUOTE]

We will ask you to give into peer pressure. We want to hear about the zilla being let out of her cage

goodine11 · January 2012

Am I missing somthing? Their reason is the distance in which they live? What do they think the distance will change?

This is very rude, inconsiderate... the list goes on. No, I would not change the date , the place, or anything else about my wedding five months away. I could see if the planning had just began and you did not have things in place. But five months away is such short notice.

XP:Change the date

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