Pls settle an argument for me..

Re: Pls settle an argument for me..

• banana468 member

  

  January 2010

  Then tell your mom if SHE gets married you'll throw her a surprise shower.

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2010

  I had never heard of a surprise shower before the knot.  I guess it's her perogative if she wants to surprise you, but it seems sort of silly to me.  I agree with PP who suggested that she let you in on the date, but you can be surprised about the rest of it.
  
  And maybe her next birthday party should be a surprise.

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• tlv204 member

  

  January 2010

  Mine was not. My mom had a surprise shower when she married my dad, and hated her sisters so much for it (they got her gardening, so she was in a wife beater and cut off jean shorts--hot, mom) that when I got engaged she went around loudly telling anyone who would ever even consider throwing me a shower that it was NOT going to be a surprise and she would ruin it if they tried to make it a surprise by telling me.
  
  So yes I know several that have been surprises, but I'm with you, I wanted to know when it was so I could look nice at a party thrown for me.

  Leo says hi. He's...special.
  
  Married
  Planning

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• tenofcups4me member

  

  January 2010

  Of course they don't have to be a surprise! Seems to me a lot of them were when I was younger, but more recently they're rarely a surprise. Mine wasn't. I lived a couple hours out of state and they knew the only way to guarantee I'd be in that weekend was to discuss the date with me ahead of time. Of course, it was also the only way to guarantee I wouldn't have made other plans. I think life is so complicated now that trying to throw a surprise can be really tricky.
  
  In either case, it doesn't matter if she likes surprises or not. The shower is supposed to be a party for YOU and should reflect what you like, not what she likes.

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• vallyhoo

  

  January 2010

  I don't understand how a bridal shower can be a true 'surprise.'
  I mean, you and your mom are alraedy discussing it so if she tells you that you have to be at X place on X date at X time... you will probably know what is going on. So, surprise ruined? If she wanted it to be a true surprised me thinks she shouldn't have mentioned anything to you. That's how surprises work for me though.

  

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• betrothed123

  

  January 2010

  It can go either way, depending on what the host wants to do.
  
  Mine was not a surprise, because the hosts knew if they tried to surprise me I'd most likely show up in a pair of ripped jeans and a baggy hoodie.  They wanted me to dress it up a bit.

  kd.joseph's wish is my command
  
  Just call me "Brothel"
  And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
  my read shelf:
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  January 2010

  surprise showers are the norm in my family.  But I have yet to hear of a bride who was 100% surprised.  Someone always spills the beans.
  
  I get you do not like surprises,  I'm not sure this is something I would be fighting with my mom about.   Let her think she is giving you a surprise shower and then do a lot of snooping around.
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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