Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?

mirandapedigo · July 2010

From this "Wedding Guests: Real Guests Tell All" article:

Okay, Break it Up

"Cake-smashing, by far, is so replete with subliminal messages that I'd so rather not bear witness to during a wedding that I think it best be banned. This ritual is uncomfortable to watch, totally passive-aggressive, and not at all the zany, jocular show the couple thinks it is."
--Amy, 25, Middletown, CT

"The whole cake-smashing-in-the-face event makes me wonder if the couple is just getting out their aggressions from all those pre-wedding quarrels."
--David, 51, Atlanta, GA

I feel like whoever would say these kinds of things just have some real personal issues of some type that they could misconstrue the 'cake smashing game' as an actual personal issue, but maybe it's common, what are other peoples opinions on it?

danieliza1127 · July 2010

I don't have a problem with it, but I do think it's kind of goofy and immature. I guess I don't see the point in smashing cake in each other's face at your wedding. I would rather see it be a sweet moment rather than a childish one.

Knittibell · July 2010

Yeah, if you don't regularly smash food into each other's faces, then I'm not sure why you'd decide to do it when you're wearing the most expensive dress you'll likely EVER own. But hey, that's just me.

mirandapedigo · July 2010

Yeah, I can definitely see that. But that anyone could feel like it's some sort of passive agressive thing, I don't get that! It bothers me to think guests could feel like a bride/groom could or would feel like that on their wedding day!

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

I've never been a fan of cake smashing. I've definitely seen weddings where it looked like some aggressions were being worked out. We didn't have cake, just giant cookies, and we just smudged a little bit of frosting onto each other's noses.

belgirl · July 2010

Personally I can't stand the cake smashing idea. As the previous poster stated, its a bit immature--I don't know that it is all about taking out your aggressions however..

Knittibell · July 2010

I've also never seen it in real life, but have seen some on tv that looked pretty aggresive, like, eyebrow raising aggressive, so maybe that's what the first quote is talking about?

mirandapedigo · July 2010

Yeah, to be honest, I guess I can't say that I don't think that that's never the case.
I guess I just always imagined it in a 'sweet' way like aerinpegadrak mentioned, smudging a bit of frosting on eachothers noses and what no. It's sad to think that some people would be 'aggressive' though.. I definitely do not like that idea for a wedding.

trix1223 · July 2010

I detest cake smashing. I just think it makes no sense to do this ever, but particularly on the day that you're publicly professing your love and pledging to honor each other for the rest of your lives. And that doesn't even include that you're wearing a dress that you chose specifically to feel stunninly gorgeous in.

My BIL and his wife were really mean with each other at their wedding. She had cake in her hair and up her nose, he had it all over his face and all over his rented tux. I was appalled. Her family thought it was hilarious.

ehathewa · July 2010

I told my FI if he smashed cake in my face I would kick him in the balls. That is his one rule for the wedding day.

I am only kind of joking.

NillaWafer10 · July 2010

The very first quote I swear is my MIL pretending to be a 25 year old

She has a theory that no marriage can last if cake smashing is involved. I don't care if other people do it, but I definitely didn't want cake shoved in my face on my wedding day. I paid a lot to look good for DH on our wedding day!

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

I'm curious, OP, why do these quotes make you angry and confused? They seem pretty straightforward to me.

PharmacyBride · July 2010

I only like it if it truly matches the couple's personalities. When they do it just to do it or whatever.. I think it is annoying.

I was at a wedding once where they shoved it in the BM/MOHs faces. I found that EXTREMELY annoying. For one.. they are missing a cute interaction with their spouse.. when it should just be the two of them involved. Secondly, the BM/MOH knew it was coming (done at a previous wedding they attended) and why else would they be asked to stand right there. It was awkward waiting for it to happen.

I want to do it nice and cute! I think it is more romantic.

Knottie56296520 · July 2010

Lol I think those two people are just reading way too much into it. Like it or hate it....it's just cake smashing.

mirandapedigo · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_did-this-kind-of-anyone-else-angryconfused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7c4bcf1f-96ed-42c4-a119-90ae2916dc29Post:c1570866-eb05-45ba-81a2-cb64eb2a738a">Re: Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm curious, OP, why do these quotes make you angry and confused? They seem pretty straightforward to me.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

It angers me because I feel bothered that any guest would somehow feel the right to pschoanalyze a couple at their wedding, it seems so inappropriate for something that doesn't actually personally affect one of the guests. It confuses me that someone could have such strong intimate feelings about something like that.

banana468 · July 2010

I just think it's a bit classless if it's not who they are

And if they're having a more formal reception and they smash cake, I just don't get it. If you freak out about the color of your BM's shoes and then there's cake smashing, I don't get it.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_did-this-kind-of-anyone-else-angryconfused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7c4bcf1f-96ed-42c4-a119-90ae2916dc29Post:12237cf8-a591-453c-a733-53fb21f7d33a">Re: Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused? : It angers me because I feel bothered that any guest would somehow feel the right to pschoanalyze a couple at their wedding, it seems so inappropriate for something that doesn't actually personally affect one of the guests. It confuses me that someone could have such strong intimate feelings about something like that.
Posted by mirandapedigo[/QUOTE]
It's not really psychoanalysis to see the groom shoving cake up the bride's nose and think, "Whoa, they've got issues." Just observation. Even if the guests aren't directly involved, it's off-putting and uncomfortable to watch.

Are you really suggesting you can dictate what your guests THINK? Really?

MrsLa Rue · July 2010

Miranda - I agree with you. And you too, Spring. I mean, I personally, wouldn't like or appreciate to have cake smashed in my face, but let's be honest- it's all in good fun. If anyone has ever seen someone get vicious with it, then obviously marriage wasnt the right thing for them to do.. But, it's supposed to be a "funny" thing and if the couple decides its "funny" then it is! My grandma re-married and my step-grandfather shoved a tiny sliver of cake down her chest, to be funny. Not like he was trying to rip her breast from her chest and feed THAT to her. Let's not all take life so seriously.

With that said, I was laughing when I saw the article myself, Miranda.

Trishes · July 2010

Hate it. Hate hate hate it. I'm soooooo nervous that FI is going to do this to me. He keeps on joking about it, so I guess it's just going to have to be a surprise

I never read into it THAT much. I just thought it was sloppy and stupid.

MrsCiaccio · July 2010

Cake smashing is awful. The whole reason behind it was in old times it was a gesture of love to be fed by your spouse. Smashing cake is so immature, and definately not cute. A wasted photo op.

karmellah · July 2010

it never would occur to me that there4s something wrong with it. im expecting it from fi. hes a silly guy and i told him i dont care if he smashes it in my face as long as it dosent get on my dress

sjnsjnsjn · July 2010

I've never been to a wedding where it's been done. I think I'd find it bizarre, in person, as opposed to on a stupid sitcom...

lizzi97 · July 2010

FI wanted to do it until he read somewhere that couples that cake smash have a higher rate of divorce than those that don't. I have no idea how credible that "study" was, but I'm glad he changed his mind!

ivy_leaf85 · July 2010

I think it's all in fun....and I think the "wearing the most expensive dress of your life" and "flipping out about BM shoe color" are kind of part of it. Leading up to the day and during the rest of the wedding, you get really wound up about stuff being formal and perfect and pristine, and the cake smashing is kind of a rebellion against the formality of it all. I guess it is a bit immature, but I think it's important to lighten up and have fun, too.

tenofcups4me · July 2010

I pretty much agree with the quotes in the article -- there seems something quite sick to me about someone thinking it's fun or funny to throw food in someone's face on a day of celebration. So yeah, I'd think quite a bit less of any couple that chose to do that.

FWIW, I've only seen a cake smashing once in my life. The groom did it and the bride was not only surprised but upset, angry, and humiliated. They made it past that moment and are still married, but what a horrible way to start your married life.

BluValkyrie · July 2010

The Fi and I both believe that the whole cake smashing thing is incredibly juvenile and I personally don't like seeing it. My FMIL tried to convince me like I should pose like I was going to smash the cake into her son's face and I flat out told her no; she didn't like that and tried to convince me it would be "cute" and I told her flatly that it was a stupid and dumb idea; she didn't like it, but the FI thought I handled it perfectly and told her the same thing when she went and whined to him about what I had said.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_did-this-kind-of-anyone-else-angryconfused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7c4bcf1f-96ed-42c4-a119-90ae2916dc29Post:a3abd512-b374-4390-8ca1-f2390425de55">Re: Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's all in fun....and I think the "wearing the most expensive dress of your life" and "flipping out about BM shoe color" are kind of part of it. Leading up to the day and during the rest of the wedding, you get really wound up about stuff being formal and perfect and pristine, and the cake smashing is kind of a rebellion against the formality of it all. I guess it is a bit immature, but I think it's important to lighten up and have fun, too.
Posted by ivy_leaf85[/QUOTE]
If you really think that you're SUPPOSED to be freaking out over insignificant details, I feel quite sorry for you. Especially if you think that nonsense is fun.

tldh · July 2010

Personally I think it's classless no matter who you are. Juvenille. Immature. The only weddings I've seen it done at were ones where you could have had a bookie in the back taking bets on when the divorce would happen. I don't psychoanalyze why they are doing this; I really don't care what the reasons are.

flutgrl1 · July 2010

I swore I was against cake smashing. Till DH got egged on by the guests (heckled you might say) He started it with a small piece..it was so much fun. Seriously I've never laughed so hard in my life. Some of our best wedding photos of us are with cake on our faces.

catemeg · July 2010

If I get my makeup professionally done, that just seems like such a waste!

Luckily, my boyfriend feels the same way. He showed me pictures from his cousin's wedding recently and pointed out the massive amounts of cake all over their faces, as well as the camo hunting-themed baseball cap the groom wore throughout the ceremony. His opinion? 'Tacky and very immature'

klasnd22 · July 2010

I have a friend who did cake smashing at their wedding and she got frosting up her nose which caused a major sinus infection. What a wonderful way to spend their honeymoon!

Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?

From this "Wedding Guests: Real Guests Tell All" article:

Okay, Break it Up

Re: Did this kind of make anyone else angry/confused?

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