half hour before start time?

nicole1125 · October 2010

Hello ladies, I heard from someone yesterday that you should put the start time of your wedding a half an hour before the real time on the invites? Like say the ceremony starts at 4:30 you should put 4:00, to give time for people to get there and seated, I didn't know that. Is this correct? I always thought you put the actual time and start a few mintues later....any advice would be appreciated! Thank you!

kristinanddan · October 2010

No, that is absolutely incorrect. You are right, you put the actual start time on your invites.

People with manners will be at your wedding early/on time. I would hate to show up at 3:30 thinking your ceremony starts at 4, then have to sit there until 4:30.

esh · October 2010

Putting a trick time on the invite could be akward for the people that actually do show up early or on time. Those ppl could be left waiting 30 minutes or more for the ceremony to begin. It could also make you look like you started your wedding late.

Lauren1333 · October 2010

Please don't do this. Most people will end up being 45 minutes early...

banana468 · October 2010

PPs are correct. It's very rude to your guests to intentionally mislead them.

Put the actual start time on your invitations.

MyNameIsNot · October 2010

This is so rude! I would like to slap the person that invented this idea. It is punishing the people that are polite and show up on time to cater to people who are late.

Put your actual start time on the invite. If you are concerned with people coming in late, have ushers at the door direct anyone that comes late to the back row or to the reception.

nicole1125 · October 2010

Ok Thats what I thought but when she said that I thought maybe I was wrong. Thank you ladies!!

Xo

Lisa50 · October 2010

Put the time you want the ceremony to start. It's up to you (or your wedding coordinator) to make sure that first foot hits the aisle at the exact time you desire. Good luck!!

goetzr19 · October 2010

Real start time. I'd rather wait an extra 10 minutes (til 4:10) rather than being there at 3:30 and having to wait til 4:30, then having the bride be late and having to wait AFTER that.

slhbride9 · October 2010

I have heard both ways. One is to put 5 and start at about 515 or whenever everybody is settled into seats. Or you can ask that they get there at 430 and plan on a 5pm start...either way guests will not remember having to wait a little bit once the night is over, because hopefully they will have had a great time!

dnzig1 · October 2010

Although I absolutely agree with putting the correct time on invitations, there is an occasional exception. My fiance is from a culture that that considers 30 minutes late to be just about on time. Getting his friends and family to show up anywhere on time has proven impossible over the years. I am printing separate invitations with an earlier start time just for this group. If they show up at the time on the invite (for the first time ever), I am okay with them waiting after all the times I've waited for them.

marybrockington · October 2010

Well I put the wrong time on my invitations, you have to know your people. If you the type that will start on time and you know you won't have stragglers then yes put the correct time but you may be running late on your day (with pictures etc.) or your family are always late then you should definitely put the wrong time but tell your vendors the correct time because they are usually not late.

I am starting later than my invitation says but I things planned for those people who do show up on time.

Tannika · October 2010

I plan on putting putting a fake start time because I know there may be traffic, and some of my guests are just generally late. For the early arrivers, there will be food, and a pianoist to occupy their time. Also, they will get seats closer to the front.

barisaxycuban · October 2010

I have to do that for my family just because I know how they are and hispanic families (or at least mine) can never be on time for anything anyways. I don't know if it is correct but it is what I am going to do.

iamLauraAnn · October 2010

Actually th Director at my Ceremony/Venue site said the same thing. Our Ceremony will be at noon but she advised us to put the "call time" down as 11:30 am. I don't believe we'd be "catering to people who are late" and "punishing those who are polite" for a few reasons. A) we are paying thousands of dollars to feed and entertain them for 5 1/2 hours, they can cool it for 30 mins.

I would rather have a few people show up a little early, than a bunch all stacked up in the back, missing me walk down the aisle and being in my photos as the doors open. because lets be honest, no one is perfect and people WILL be late. and C) I will be providing music, pastries, coffee, tea, etc. for my early-comers.

Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, if someone I invite to my wedding is so perturbed that I asked them to be a half hour early to my ceremony and cannot understand my reasoning, then maybe they should have RSVPed no and saved us both a lot of hearache; they obviously are not there to share in a very special event in me and my FH's life as much as they are there to party and get a free meal.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

If your invitations say you're starting at 1:00, most people will show up between 12:30 and 12:45. If you don't walk down the aisle until 1:30, they're not going to think, "Oh, they must have planned for it to start late to accommodate everyone." They're going to think, "Wow, this wedding is really poorly planned. How bad is the reception going to be?"

Treat your guests like adults and don't waste their time. Don't punish the people who know how to read an invitation.

beachcat21 · October 2010

My sister did this because the grooms side of the family has a habit of ALWAYS being late, however our side of the family is generally early. now I am getting married and my poor mother has been receiving several calls from my relatives asking if my start time is true or a trick. please spare not only your punctual loved ones, but also your poor parents who are now being asked when to show up for a wedding because they can no longer trust an invitation. I love my sister, but I still feel that was a bad choice on her part.

sonnolaluna · October 2010

I agree with barisaxycuban. Except for three people, all my guests are Hispanic; nobody is ever on time. In fact, whenever you get an invitation for anything and it says one time, people usually know (or think) there's a buffer time included in there. For example, you get an invitation and see noon, you know (think) it's at 12:30. I'm not saying it's right, i just know that's how the culture is, and I am taking that into account in my invitations.

You should know the overall behavior of your guests, after all, these are people you know, right?. Other cultures or groups of people tend to be very punctual, so I would put a little bit of thought on how the overall behavior of your guests are and come up with something in the middle that would make the majority of people happy. Maybe Whitney is right...half an hour may be too much, fifteen minutes might be good. Good luck!

kmlovato · October 2010

Maybe what you were thinking about is the reception time. What happens where I am from, there is a symposium (gathering) half an hour before dinner, and they put that time and dinner time on the invite. It's kind of like a warning: ok, you don't have to come and mill around, but dinner is at this time so if you want food, be there. As for the ceremony, I think most guests try really hard to be on time for a wedding, it's kind of a big deal.

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_half-hour-before-start-time?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:63c124c5-82a2-4a1a-a46f-9fb31fc9e2cdPost:34f7b7f0-d798-4882-bd13-c8db3cf7bd7d">Re: half hour before start time?</a>:
[QUOTE]My guests have to park and then walk awhile or be taken by golf cart to the ceremony location. I put about fifteen minutes before I want the wedding to start on the invitation because <strong>I can't imagine guests knowing and planning for this.</strong> Also it could take awhile to get all the guests carted and seated and that needs to be done before I start down the aisle. I think it depends on how important it is for you to get started exactly at a specific time. A half hour is quite early though.
Posted by whitney789[/QUOTE]
That's what inserts are for. It's your responsibility as a host to inform your guests of any unusual steps that will be necessary to get to your party.

senami · October 2010

I disagree...i Hate put race on it...but black people are always late...so best believe I am puttin a "fake" start time on the invites...I am doing 30 minutes or slightly less...My coworker is asian and did that too...last weekend i went to a wedding and we had to wait 30 minutes, but we were fine...it was still just as nice. We weren't upset.

canadagk · October 2010

Our officiant actually recommended this! I'm not comfortable with it - especially as we are having a destination wedding so everyone will be there already!

luualita · October 2010

My Fi and I are kinda divided about this. My family comes from a culture where being up to half an hour late was more or less normal, however only a chunk of my family actually does that, most of my family is fairly punctual people. It used to drive me nuts because when there was a party or event they would list the start time half an hour early and my mom always wanted to be where she needed to be on time. When we arrived they would all still be getting ready for the party!

Fi's family are always exactly on time for everything, if not early. So yeah, we're not sure what we're doing, but I do understand where the half hour early thing does come from.

racehoss00 · October 2010

My officiant recommended to a fake start time for the rehearsal, but not the actual ceremony. I say it just depends on what you feel is right for yoursituation.

JloveB · October 2010

welll me and my fiance both come from cultures where people are always late, and we are from two different cultures....I am considering a fake start time because of that, but I am planning on lettting my friends who are always on time know the real time of the wedding...family won't know...becuase they will use the time on the invitation as the time to leave on their way to the ceremony. Know who the majority of your guest are, if they always show up late, and you've seen them show up late to other people's wedding....it won't change them showing up late to yours, but if you have a family of people on time. It is rude to lie to them and make them wait.

dbohacz · October 2010

I would advise against it. My brother [secretly] did that for his wedding, and in an interesting, and somewhat predictable turn of events all the guests were on time, if not early, and my brother and his bride were the ones nearly 45min late. All time factored in, the wedding was about an hour and a half late getting started. This definitely created a lot of confusion among the guests, mostly out-of -town family, and I had the awkward task of breaking the news to the church full of people. To make matters worse the day was one of the hottest in August and the church was small and historic (read: no a/c), so everyone got up and walked to a nearby restaurant/bar to kill time and cool off. Do yourself and your guests a favor and leave the trickery out, no matter how good your intentions are.

michelleastrand · October 2010

my ceremony and reception are on a yacht cruise that leaves the dock at 12pm. i haven't printed by invitations yet, but on my website i have put that the boat leaves promptly at that time. i am still worried though that unplanned things like traffic could make someone late and then they would miss the entire wedding altogether! i may put that the boat leaves at 11:45, just to account for that.

chocoholic4life · October 2010

You should put the correct time on the invites and expect to start on time. If people are still trickling in when it is supposed to start, then you can postpone it for 5 or 10 minutes. Don't trick your guests. Especially the older ones will be upset that they have to sit for so long, and it will reflect poorly on you.

shortee426 · October 2010

It's so easy to say "I'm from X culture and we're always late." Heck, I'm Jewish and we constantly joke around about how we will meet at 5pm, which in Jewish time is anywhere between 5:15 and 6pm. I've noticed in this thread multiple cultures that seem to have that "standard," which when combined means no one in the world is ever on time anywhere.

That being said, put the correct start time. If your wedding starts at 5pm, put 5pm. A few minutes ahead of time, have your coordinator or someone look out at the crowd. If everyone is seated and ready to go, start at 5pm on the dot. If a few people are still straggling in, start at 5:05 or 5:10 (but no later than that for the sake of those who arrive early, as people commonly do).

You are inviting adults to your wedding, and adults are aware that they should arrive at places on time, if not early. If they are from the area where the event is taking place, they should know what traffic is commonly like to know if they need to leave extra time to get there. If they are from out town, they are staying at a hotel recommended by you which I'm sure is no more than a few minutes away from the venue. Please treat your guests like the adults that they are.

banana468 · October 2010

Ditto Shortee!!

aerinpegadrak · October 2010

I can't help but think of that one episode of Bridezillas where the bride showed up at the church a little after the fake start time on the invitations and saw the parking lot full. "What do you mean everybody's here? Black people are never on time!"

Just sayin'...

half hour before start time?

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