Who should be my bridesmaid: the half sister I like or the full sister who is mean?

Re: Who should be my bridesmaid: the half sister I like or the full sister who is mean?

• Beachy730 member

  

  August 2010

  To prevent family drama just put both in it and not worry about even sides.
  
  If you refuse to put both, ask the one you would rather have then and from what it sounds like prepare for the backlash from it.  But don't just put your full-sister as you call her to make her happy.

  

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• rbtrumpet member

  

  August 2010

  I would say only ask the people you want - the people you think will support your marriage.

  
  

  However, if it will cause family drama, then maybe you should at least talk to your mom/dad and see what they think.  It might be worth it to add her (or maybe have her be a reader, or usher, or something).

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

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• MyWedding13

  

  August 2010

  Can you ask both or no?

  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2010

  This is a hard one. But only you know your family and from your post if it will cause problems, you may just as well have both. And you never know, your full sister may not want to be in the wedding, and then you both would be happy. I know it sucks to have to be this way, but sometimes the lesser of two evils is the way to go bc you surely don't want drama and issues on your wedding day.

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• JadziaDax member

  

  August 2010

  I agree with asking both.

  

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• strlzfan11 member

  

  August 2010

  I understand where you're coming from.  My older sister and I have a great relationship.  My younger sister & I barely say 5 words to each other when we're in the same room together.  In a drama free world I would have one in my WP and not the other, but I know I would never hear the end of it from a variety of people.
  
  Ask yourself this.... if you & full sister one day have a good relationship will you regret asking her to be in your wedding?

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• heyimbren member

  

  August 2010

  I would ask both if you're afraid of causing drama.
  
  Although, I don't know why you needed to put in "half" and "full" sister. Does it really make a difference? My sister and I have different fathers so technically she's a "half" sister, but I never refer to her anything less than just my sister. These girls are BOTH your family, regardless of how well you get along. Perhaps the one may not want to be a BM, or perhaps she does. As a BM, she really doesn't have to do anything more than wear a dress and stand up with you.

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• jillym31 member

  

  August 2010

  I am in the same boat.  My mom says that my twin sister should be my "MOH" because she is my twin. But we don't spend a lot of time together and we don't hang out much.  I do have an older sister that I have asked to be my MOH and I WILL  have to worry about the back lash from my mom.  But if my twin were my maid of honor, I would have a $50,000 wedding because she has to have the best of everything!! My older sister and I are on the same page and I knew without a doubt, she would be the one to ask and I have and she is Thrilled and so am i!!

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• ctat6800 member

  

  August 2010

  I guess I should clarify: I'm less worried about the drama from my family about it, since most of them know that my sister has treated me badly my whole life.  I'm more concerned that my sister will create drama and tension on the actual day of our wedding, and I don't want to deal with her negativity.  She has always been mean and judgemental of me.  I just don't know what to do!

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• heyimbren member

  

  August 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bridesmaid-half-sister-like-full-sister-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2c6ed8a-d69c-424d-95bc-72b438fb9614Post:63bdbfee-2a2e-4037-a357-7742cfe8ee5b">Re: Who should be my bridesmaid: the half sister I like or the full sister who is mean?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I guess I should clarify: I'm less worried about the drama from my family about it, since most of them know that my sister has treated me badly my whole life.  I'm more concerned that my sister will create drama and tension on the actual day of our wedding, and I don't want to deal with her negativity.  She has always been mean and judgemental of me. <strong> I just don't know what to do!</strong>
  Posted by ctat6800[/QUOTE]
  
  Why can't you just have both to avoid creating pre-wedding drama? On the day of, all your sister needs to do is show up and wear the BM dress. Take a few photos. Realistically, it isn't much more than what she'd do as a guest at your wedding. On your wedding, you'll be busy getting married to pay too much attention to her.

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• Goldlie11

  

  August 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_should-bridesmaid-half-sister-like-full-sister-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d2c6ed8a-d69c-424d-95bc-72b438fb9614Post:63bdbfee-2a2e-4037-a357-7742cfe8ee5b">Re: Who should be my bridesmaid: the half sister I like or the full sister who is mean?</a>:
  [QUOTE]I guess I should clarify: I'm less worried about the drama from my family about it, since most of them know that my sister has treated me badly my whole life.  I'm more concerned that my sister will create drama and tension on the actual day of our wedding, and I don't want to deal with her negativity.  She has always been mean and judgemental of me.  I just don't know what to do!
  Posted by ctat6800[/QUOTE]
  If your sister was shitty when you were kids, I would probably still ask her.  If she's still shitty towards you as an adult, then I wouldn't.  That's just me.  

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