Wedding Ceremony & Reception Music Discussions
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family DJ or professional

My younger brother is in his last semester of college for sound and music editing. He does some DJing out at college, and my guess is its typical college party type stuff but I'm not positive. My initial reaction when I got engaged was that my brother could DJ the reception and we could save money, only needing to rent the equiptment for him. So I asked him and he said yes.

After thinking about it a bit and talking to my parents, I'm not sure this is the way to go. My brother has only been to 2 weddings and neither of them was DJed or had the traditional dances or reception party. My concern, and my parents, is that he isn't going to know how to properly run the show, since basically that's the job of the DJ. My fiance works out at the gym with a professional DJ, who he already spoke to and has our date open and would love to do it for us. My little brother is still going to do the ceremony music, but he's extremely easy going and doesn't really have strong emotions about things like this.

Problem is, my dad just let me know that he thinks my brother is really into doing it for me, that he really wants to help me this way. It got a little stickier than I had hoped, because he's family and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I am just extremely concerned he won't do the type of job I need him to, and a bit piece of how my reception goes lays on his shoulders. My dad suggested looking online and printing a "script" for my brother to follow...but I don't want my DJ following a script, I want him to know what he's doing.

...help??

Re: family DJ or professional

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    edited December 2011
    well, my first reaction to this was not so much about how well he'd do the job.  its the fact that your brother is basically "working" your wedding.  dont you want him to enjoy himself and celebrate your marriage?  its not like its a distant cousin that was on the fence about getting an invite anyway.  i mean...its your brother!  i have 2 brothers and i wouldnt want either one of them lifting a finger at my wedding.  they are there as a guest and to celebrate.

    i would re-think this if i were you.  and just explain to your dad and whoever else that its more important that your bro enjoy himself at the wedding.
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    edited December 2011
    I'd hire the professional, since DJing at a club is much different than a wedding with a bit of an agenda.  You're going to want to go with someone who knows how weddings run.  Maybe your brother could fill in after all the announcements have been made and people are just there to dance?  It sounds like that would suit him better and he might actually have fun.
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    edited December 2011
    I would definitely hire a professional, not that your brother couldn't do a fine job, but for the fact that you want him to enjoy your wedding as well as you probably want someone with a little more experience under their belt. I am assuming the dj would also be the one who announces all the special dances, cake cutting, etc.

    If your brother wants to really learn from this other guy, then I am sure he would be happy to have your brother along on another event. Also, your brother could check in from time to time at your wedding with whoever who choose as your dj and tell them that he is an aspiring dj, if they could tell him a little more about how to do things, etc.

    BTW- I believe I see Ohio State jerseys on the two of you...love it esp since you are in the Gator Nation. H and I are both from central Ohio and I am an OSU grad. GO BUCKS!
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    edited December 2011
    We decided early on that we wouldn't be asking any of our very talented friends to "work" the wedding.  We wanted people with experience, and we wanted people we'd feel comfortable bringing our concerns to if things didn't go the way we felt they should.  We thought it would be hard to gripe at a friend who was doing us a favor if we didn't like the pictures they were taking, music they were playing, etc.  We also really wanted all of our friends and relatives to be able to relax and enjoy the celebration with us.  If you decide to talk to your brother about not being your DJ, emphasize that point.  Tell him you appreciate him being willing to help you out, but that you'd much rather see him enjoying himself at the wedding.  :)  Good luck!
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    edited December 2011
    I guess my biggest concern is hurting his feelings, because I know my brother, and I know that he prefers being at his computer or working on his music. He's not a dancer, not a huge socializer with people he doesn't know (which is the majority of our wedding attendees) and I think truthfully he would have more fun if he WAS working the wedding because it would alleviate him from having to make small talk with people he's not comfortable with. That being said, I'm going to go a teeny "bridezilla" and say I just want it to go perfectly and truthfully I don't know if he could do a perfect job. I don't want a DJ going by something scripted, it should flow, be natural, and be entertaining. Still unsure to do but thanks for all the input!! Smile

    ...and Melissa, yes, OH jerseys haha Smile I am actually from PA, but didn't grow up in a football, or really even "sports" family. I started getting into sports in college, and Nate is from the Cleveland area, TOTAL all American jock (sport of choice to play is soccer) and is a total Bucks fan...so by association, so am I! I'm glad I finally have a team to cheer for since I wasn't raised to cheer for any! lol
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_family-dj-professional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:6327fa14-d570-4161-a2f3-a7ff4a5295a2Post:13ac6363-abea-4cea-bdc0-a4bd3eae08b5">Re: family DJ or professional</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my biggest concern is hurting his feelings, because I know my brother, and I know that he prefers being at his computer or working on his music. He's not a dancer, not a huge socializer with people he doesn't know (which is the majority of our wedding attendees) and I think truthfully he would have more fun if he WAS working the wedding because it would alleviate him from having to make small talk with people he's not comfortable with. <strong>That being said, I'm going to go a teeny "bridezilla" and say I just want it to go perfectly and truthfully I don't know if he could do a perfect job</strong>. I don't want a DJ going by something scripted, it should flow, be natural, and be entertaining. Still unsure to do but thanks for all the input!! ...and Melissa, yes, OH jerseys haha I am actually from PA, but didn't grow up in a football, or really even "sports" family. I started getting into sports in college, and Nate is from the Cleveland area, TOTAL all American jock (sport of choice to play is soccer) and is a <strong>total Bucks fan...so by association, so am I! I'm glad I finally have a team to cheer for since I wasn't raised to cheer for any! lol</strong>
    Posted by rachelea[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, that is what I was kinda getting at. I am sure your brother will have a good time at your wedding even if he isn't the most social guy. Do you think the friend at the gym would let him help him set up and show him what he would do and maybe help out (if you choose to go with that guy) so that your brother can kinda have the best of both worlds? I dunno, just a thought. Also, is your brother in the WP? If he is, that might be a little much if you were to let him dj your wedding.

    Its so great to see some more Bucks fan's out there. =)
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    tpender13tpender13 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_family-dj-professional?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:6327fa14-d570-4161-a2f3-a7ff4a5295a2Post:fadc4afa-a1c0-4170-975c-241c34f2b556">Re: family DJ or professional</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: family DJ or professional : Do you think the friend at the gym would let him help him set up and show him what he would do and maybe help out (if you choose to go with that guy) so that your brother can kinda have the best of both worlds?
    Posted by MissySue20[/QUOTE]

    I think this is a great idea...
    image
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    edited December 2011
    Its possible they would...I'm not sure how close of friend's Nate is with the guy, I know they work out together on occasion, but I know how guys are at the gym. They work out together but not too much personal info is shared to make it more than an acquantence (and I totally just spelled that wrong). No, my little brother is not in the WP, although my older brother is. He was added to even the sides and we asked my older brother over my younger because we had thought my younger bro would be DJing...now not sure.
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    mysticlmysticl member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Just another point of view.  Have you priced renting the DJ equipment?  Are you sure that it would end up costing less?
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    MilleRsBestMilleRsBest member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO, you don't hire friends or family for anything you may have the potential of being disappointed in.  You hire a pro photog and your pics aren't right, you complain and get it fixed and maybe a refund.  But Aunt Edna takes your pics and they turn out bad, you can't really complain about it to her.
    someecards.com - What's the difference between peanut butter and jam?
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't have your brother DJ because he should really attend, not work at your wedding. It'll be hard for him to enjoy it with the rest of your family (dance, eat, take pics, talk, etc.) if he has to be stuck behind the booth the whole time. We recently attended a wedding where a friend acted as DJ and every time he stepped away from the booth to talk to someone, get a drink, whatever, the hall staff was going over and getting him to tell him it was time for cake cutting, etc. I think even if his feelings are hurt at first, he'll eventually realize that.
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