Second-Guessing

jdalke88 · May 2010

So, it's 149 days until my cruise wedding (October 16th) and I'm starting to wonder if I should have opted to do an at-home ceremony instead...I know at the end of the day it won't matter where I got married, but who I married...but still, any other brides experience this?

LolaPizzy · May 2010

Well, I do think it does matter somewhat where you get married, otherwise I'd be getting married at City Hall! What aspects are making you second guess your decision?

For what it's worth, I've never heard a DW bride say after the fact "I wish I hadn't done a DW". Everyone says the opposite: a DW is their number one "would do again"!

hibiscus118 · May 2010

I second guessed about 2 months ago, not to do an at-home ceremony but to go back to what I had wanted to do which was a cruise or island wedding. We were going through a rough time with family, which is the reason we opted to go with an OBX wedding (FI wanted his extended family to go, I didn't care I knew the people that meant the most to us would go either way). I even found a cruise out of Baltimore for 5 nights going to Bermuda and was seriously considering booking it. Turns out people who he wanted to go originally and "wouldn't miss it for the world" are most likely not going. I'm not second guessing anymore, the location of my wedding means a lot to me and I can't wait for September to get here.

Anyways, I think a lot of brides have second thoughts about what kind of wedding they are having sometime in the planning process. In the end you have to do what makes you and FI happy no matter which option that is.

DiamondDani · May 2010

I second guess myself EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Not because I don't want a DW, because I do...but I want to make everyone else happy. And I know having a DW is ticking people off and I hate that, but at the end of the day I need to stick with the wedding FI and I want no matter what. But I think it's totally normal to second guess yourself. A DW isn't as accepted as an at-home wedding. It takes awhile to get over that.

numb3rMel · May 2010

WOW! are you and my FI on the same wave length.

My FI keeps going back to wanting a big wedding at home. I think this is the influence of his mom and sister. His sister refuses to attend our wedding in MX and his mom guilt trips us all the time for not having a big wedding for her... que rolled eyes and violin. The one thing I do feel bad about is my FFIL. He's in bad health and at first when we were planning this he could move with some trouble. Now he's unable to step onto the side curb. He probably won't be making it to our wedding and this is very upsetting to FI. He feels his whole family will banish him if his father isn't in attendence. However, he probably wouldn't be able to make it either if it was down the street. Our solution - we're seriously considering going down to the court house with just our parents and getting married here then just doing the MX as renewing the vows. This way he'll be able to attend.

Sorry to hijack your topic. But the point of my ramble is that DW brides will have outside influences. Some of them are tough to ignore but it isn't about who can and cannot attend, its not about OOT bags, plane rides, or sparklers... its about the two of you and your vision. Do what makes you happy and don't look back. if that's a DW, then its a DW, if that's a home ceremony, then make it a home ceremony. But don't let those influences dictate your vision.

Beth0413 · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://destination.weddings.com/main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_second-guessing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:6bd737b3-8221-4cff-8968-ae478d832127Post:290ed3e7-6f23-43c6-9892-e6d0b30a200d">Re: Second-Guessing</a>:
[QUOTE]I second guess myself EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Not because I don't want a DW, because I do...but I want to make everyone else happy. And I know having a DW is ticking people off and I hate that, but at the end of the day I need to stick with the wedding FI and I want no matter what. But I think it's totally normal to second guess yourself. A DW isn't as accepted as an at-home wedding. It takes awhile to get over that.
Posted by DiamondDani[/QUOTE]

Ditto! I think second guessing yourself is a normal thing! Just remember to do what makes you happy :)

angybanez · May 2010

We all probably go through this at some point! All the PP I can definitely relate to. In the end it's what you and you FI want. Yes there is a chance family members or friends can't make it but they could have at an at home wedding ceremony, but that wouldn't be the wedding of your dreams! There are pros and cons to each scenario and what counts is what puts a big smile on both your and your FI's faces.

KristenCR · May 2010

Second guessing your self is just in a bride's nature, any bride, with any wedding. They way I see it you chose this type of wedding when you were deciding things in a stress free, just you and FI discussing environment (at least I'm assuming). My guess is the closer we get to the wedding the more stress we encounter, the family members/friends who act like butts, the more we second guess. I had my first 2nd guessing freak out two weeks after choosing the venue and I'm scheduling my second 2nd guessing freak out what have I done I've ruined my wedding for everyone else moment to happen in about 5 weeks, be ready people.

but that's besides the point, it's normal, you chose that wedding for a reason, just focus and that reason.

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