My groom and I both are Catholic and both divorced. We thought his annulment would be our nightmare, but it's actually gone more smoothly than we dreamed - it's been granted in the first instance, and we should hear about the second instance. Then we hold our breath to see if it will be appealed by the other party, but so far, so good.
Mine, however, has been the nightmare, which is absolutely unfathomable to me. I was married for less than two years, we weren't married in the Catholic Church - we weren't married in any church, but in a civil court! My husband was an alcoholic and abusive, and I was clinically depressed at the time of our marriage. We thought this one would go through in no time at all.
I started my annulment in my home diocese, but we couldn't find my ex-husband. I kept trying things and they kept telling me to try something else. Finally they said they couldn't establish jurisdiction, so months later I transferred the case to the diocese where the marriage took place. In August, they told me the case had been given to the psychological expert who apparently is involved in all the cases where there are psychological factors as part of the reason for the nullity. When I called today - nearly three months later - they said the expert still has my case. It still has to go to the defender of the bond, then finally to the decision stage. Each of these stages could take two months - so I won't have my first decision until four months from...who knows when? Then it has to go to a second instance, which they said could also take four months. Without a doubt, this annulment will take longer than the marriage lasted!!
I am so discouraged, I just burst into tears when I called today. The woman I spoke with was very nice and said she would try to nudge the expert and to get the case put at the top of the lists at the next two stages, but this just is so depressing. We want to plan an October wedding, but most Catholic churches ask for six months notice before the wedding, so we just don't know what to do.
More than anything, I just needed to vent and cry a little about the whole thing...thanks for listening...
