Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Parent Involvement in Ceremony

Does anyone have any ideas how my fiance and I can involve our parents, mostly mothers, in the ceremony. I'm not a big fan of the Unity candle or sand vase. Anything other suggestions?

Re: Parent Involvement in Ceremony

  • In Response to Re:Parent Involvement in Ceremony:[QUOTE]Does anyone have any ideas how my fiance and I can involve our parents, mostly mothers, in the ceremony. I'm not a big fan of the Unity candle or sand vase. Anything other suggestions? Posted by sondra0023[/QUOTE]

    Parents don't traditionally participate in any of the unity ceremonies, and honestly, I think it would be incredibly presumptuous of you to ask them. While it's appropriate for parents to give the bride and/or groom away, and to offer their blessing and support when prompted by the officiant, they're not the ones getting married. They're not forming a new family with each other, if that makes sense, and it's unfair to ask them to.
  • Please don't do this.
    The marriage is between you and FI, not your parents.

    Honor/thank them in the program, provide them with corsages, seat them in the front row, but that's about it.
  • If you involve them at all (which is not at all required) I would suggest having them do a reading, or each give a short speech at the reception.
    Praying for a miracle!
  • I've also read on several different sites about mother's being included in the unity candle lighting. I would say can ask them if they would like to do a reading/blessing but be prepared for them to say no. It may be too emotional day for them to be able to speak during the service.

  • I brought the gifts to the altar for communion.

    Guess this only works if you're Catholic though.  It's been ages since I've been to a religious wedding outside of the Church so i could be wrong.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_parent-involvement-in-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:90f73355-9f9b-4911-a39f-8bcf1a7cfc95Post:fa6c5e9e-5c21-40dd-90b1-a055c0f60c15">Parent Involvement in Ceremony</a>:
    [QUOTE]Does anyone have any ideas how my fiance and I can involve our parents, mostly mothers, in the ceremony. I'm not a big fan of the Unity candle or sand vase. Anything other suggestions?
    Posted by sondra0023[/QUOTE]

    I agree with PP's suggestions of performing a reading, carrying sacremental gifts or even walking you two down the aisle. I don't suggest having parents 'participate" in those sorts of ceremonies, but they may bring the supplies (candles/sand) to the alter. (I'm personally not a big fan of those either for myself- I can see how others may find meaning, but its not an act I find personal meaning in).
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited September 2012
    Our officiant told us about a rose ceremony where the bride and groom give each other a rose and then present it to the mothers (or anyone else important). It represents the first gift as husband and wife to each other, and then to loved ones. It's usually a surprise too from what I understand. If you can't find it online, PM me and I'll send you what her explaination is.

    (and if it's important to you to involve them in some way, don't let other posters here talk you out of it. It's not their wedding, it's yours. Do what matters to you) 
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  • I didn't even know parents were involved in ceremonies.

    *shrugs*
  • In my Jewish ceremony, both of FIs parents will walk him down the aisle and both of mine will walk me.  Then our parents will stand under the chuppah with us during the ceremony. 
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  • Rather than having my father (or anyone else) give me away, I found an "affirmation of support" online that I incorporated into my ceremony. I find it more egalitarian than just the bride being given away because both the bride's parents and the groom's participate, and it gives the parents a chance to be involved in the ceremony. Here is the wording that I'm using:

    "Today, as we join (FI's name) and (my name) in marriage, we celebrate them as they begin a new family together. Yet we also know that this new branch of the family tree will be strengthened and enriched by the love, traditions, and knowledge of their family roots. At this time, I ask that the parents of the bride and groom please stand to affirm their marriage.

     

    (To parents) Do you give your blessing to this couple, offer them your continued love and support, and promise to uphold them in their marriage? (Parents respond: We do.)"

    October 2012 December Siggy - A Favorite Wedding Photo image
  • ginadogginadog member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited October 2012
    At my sister's wedding, her FIL played the guitar and sang a song (not the procession, it was like a concert).  Her MIL gave a reading on love (she's writes for her job).  I thought it was a little weird - like the took over the ceremony to toot their talents!

    My ILs signed the marriage license as they were our only two witnesses for our elopement.

    Back when we had a DW planned, I was going to have both mothers sign the license to serve as witnesses because we weren't doing a bridal party.
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