Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Christian Weddings
musicalsunlight
member
Feeling a little down
This is something that has been eating at me, and I just need to vent it out. I feel this is the best place to post it, because I know many of you would understand.
As a basic summary of my church life, I went to Sunday school as a child and then experienced a few years of no Christian substance before high school. My parents raised me as a Christian, but more of an open one, I guess. They were both raised Christian and considered themselves spiritual but did not guide or pressure me into any belief system, which I respect their decision to do. I ended up feeling the true connection to God during a 9th grade camp trip and subsequently went to youth group with a friend at her church and became close with them. However, I have since graduated college and now am in law school. I still consider myself a dedicated Christian, but have yet to establish myself as a true member of a church. My FI was raised in a much more conservative family and thus has very strong Christian values, which I love of course. Due to our busy lives and inability to commit to weekly services yet because of our schedules, we are planning on waiting until marriage to settle down in a church as members, mainly to be fair to the church we choose. (We don't want to use a church membership solely for the ability to get married there at the moment when we may not stay in this area after school, etc)
OK...so my point? While I have taken time on my own to read God's word, I have not ever had a personal connection with a pastor. My FI and I are considering contacting his pastor who he was close with in high school, but aren't sure if he's close enough to do our ceremony. I'm just feeling a little sad that I can't fulfill that vision of having a pastor who truly knows BOTH my FI and I in a spiritual way, and can speak to that at the ceremony. I always used to dream of that, because when I go to weddings, I think it is a beautiful thing.
I guess I'm just venting, but I'm hoping that whatever happens, we find a way to spend time with the pastor we choose so that he really knows us, and isn't just a face to represent the power to marry.
As a basic summary of my church life, I went to Sunday school as a child and then experienced a few years of no Christian substance before high school. My parents raised me as a Christian, but more of an open one, I guess. They were both raised Christian and considered themselves spiritual but did not guide or pressure me into any belief system, which I respect their decision to do. I ended up feeling the true connection to God during a 9th grade camp trip and subsequently went to youth group with a friend at her church and became close with them. However, I have since graduated college and now am in law school. I still consider myself a dedicated Christian, but have yet to establish myself as a true member of a church. My FI was raised in a much more conservative family and thus has very strong Christian values, which I love of course. Due to our busy lives and inability to commit to weekly services yet because of our schedules, we are planning on waiting until marriage to settle down in a church as members, mainly to be fair to the church we choose. (We don't want to use a church membership solely for the ability to get married there at the moment when we may not stay in this area after school, etc)
OK...so my point? While I have taken time on my own to read God's word, I have not ever had a personal connection with a pastor. My FI and I are considering contacting his pastor who he was close with in high school, but aren't sure if he's close enough to do our ceremony. I'm just feeling a little sad that I can't fulfill that vision of having a pastor who truly knows BOTH my FI and I in a spiritual way, and can speak to that at the ceremony. I always used to dream of that, because when I go to weddings, I think it is a beautiful thing.
I guess I'm just venting, but I'm hoping that whatever happens, we find a way to spend time with the pastor we choose so that he really knows us, and isn't just a face to represent the power to marry.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Feeling a little down
In our case, there was only one person who fit the criteria for us, and although today he does not work as a pastor full-time, he is ordained. He and his wife were- individually, before they married in their mid-/late thirties- hugely influential in my life and in H's life, long before we got together. Matt agreed to marry us...and then his wife announced they were expecting their second child just nine days before our wedding! We had a loose backup plan in the event the delivery was delayed and Matt just couldn't be there. In the end, the baby came early (and healthy) so he did indeed marry us. I'm definitely still a little sad that his wife wasn't able to make it to our wedding from several states over, though.
I don't think your desire is unusual or unreasonable, and I think it's worth mentioning to your FI and maybe to his pastor also (or whoever ends up being your officiant.)
Best wishes to you!
[QUOTE]My FI is kind of like you -- raised Christian without pressure, but due to moving, and schedules, can't attend church each week. We're using my church pastor, and we're going through pre-marital counseling with the pastor so he can get to know my FI. <strong>Since your situation is reversed, I would let your FI's pastor do the wedding and do counseling with him so you can get to know him and he can get to know you on a spiritual level. May serve both you in a positive way.</strong> Best of luck with your decision!
Posted by kellya01[/QUOTE]
This is what I was going to suggest. Good luck!