Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Readings...so many questons

My FH's mom told me that if I'm not having my futue sister in law (who is 13) as a bridesmad (she's not responsible enough) then she needs to at least do a reading. I asked her what that was and she didn't quite explain.

I understand that the reading happens sometime during the wedding ceremony. I just don't know when.

I understand that I pick the thing to be read but I don't know what because I don't understand what exactly the reading is. (I tried to google it but al I came up with is a bunch of poems or verses) That doesn't really help to explain what it does or when it happens.

I understand that I or someone picks someone to read the reading....which has apparently been picked for me. But I was unaware that there was even supposed to be a reading.

I've never been to a wedding. Could someone please explain to me what exactly a reading is, the purpose of it, when it happens (or where it can happen, if there can be more than one)....and any other helpful things. Because I've tried asking but it's like one of those secrets that evryone seems to know and I'm supposed to somehow find out....somehow.

Please, help me understand.
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Re: Readings...so many questons

  • If you want a reading, you pick something meaningful to you and someone reads it at some point in the ceremony. That's it. The most common reading for Christian weddings (not making any assumptions, here, that's just what all the ones I've been to have been--and man, am I sick of this verse) is 1 Corinthians 13, "the love chapter."

    But what is it you think a bridesmaid does that a 13-year-old can't handle? Not that you have to have your FSIL; your groom could ask her to stand on his side. But all she'd have to do is wear a dress (usually bridesmaids buy their own, but I'd guess her mom will handle that), carry a bouquet if you're having them, and walk down the aisle. Not a big responsibility.
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  • The thirteen year old has been beating people up (including myself). She has a bit of an attitude problem that her mom is trying to fix. It's not so much the responsitbility as the attitude.

    It is a Christian wedding, but we are kind of non traditional, I guess. I saw that verse, it was the first one that came up in the search and I really don't wan that to be read. I was thinking something out of the ordinary. My FH and I are writers, so maybe we might have something we write, or something his Grandfather wrote.

    Probably a poem or an excerpt of literature (or childs book), not a verse.

    Laughing
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  • edited June 2012
    There you go. Choose whatever you like. Most ceremonies squeeze in the reading before the vows.

    Although, just IMO, I would sooner trust an ill-behaved teenager to walk and stand than to read aloud for an audience. Somehow I can imagine more going wrong with the latter than the former. But it's ultimately your and your fiancé's decision and whatever you choose, he should back you up when his mom brings it up.
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  • Do you HAVE to include the 13 year old in the wedding?  If she has an attitude she might not contribute much.  We are having two readings in our wedding.  One is an excerpt from a year with C.S. Lewis and the other is the Scottish Wedding Prayer. 
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  • I think having her read something that you wrote would be very special
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