Relationships Poll

kroot87 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? I'd say we're pretty balanced. I make the final call on most big decisions, though - FI can be very indecisive.

Which one of you married/dated up? FI would say he did, I'm 15 years younger and, well, I'm awesome. But he's an incredible person. I'm definitely marrying up. Financially, we're about even right now. He just started a new career this year, but prior to that he made almost twice as much money as me.

Who is the better spouse/partner? We're pretty even. He puts a lot of effort into our relationship, especially the little things.. but so do I.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? We communicate pretty well for the most part, but FI HATES conflict, so he clams up pretty easily when there's an issue. I wish he'd be more open with me about things that bother him. It's never anything huge, but he'll just keep it to himself to keep the peace. Dude, just tell me I'm being an asshole, or that you don't like the way I load the dishwasher, or whatever. Don't internalize.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? Sharing new experiences, laughing, being best friends. Knowing I get to go through life with FI by my side. Just being incredibly, incredibly blessed.

andrea2473 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? Big decisions? Me. Hands down. EVERYTHING is in my name and I am in charge of all finances. H has some financial issues from his past that we are working on, all while teaching him to budget. He's not a moron or anything, he was just raised without rules and consequences. Like, if shitt gets overwhelming, you can just ignore it. His mom is a gem. Luckily he's not some man-child who is stuck in his ways. He understands that it's an area to improve on and we work on it together at the end of every month.

As far as day-to-day stuff, I'm usually the one to give in if we can't agree on something silly, like what to do on our day off.    Maybe it's because I'm so bossy about the serious stuff.

Which one of you married/dated up? Ummmm...he did. But only a little    Personality wise, I can be high-maintenance when I'm being emotional (PMS), but for the most part, I've definitely improved his quality of life. God that sounds cocky. Attractiveness wise, I think we are pretty even.

Who is the better spouse/partner? He's the better spouse because he has a gentler nature and a good bedside manner. I'm the better life partner because I get shitt done.   He's getting better though. Hmmm maybe I'm the one who married up.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? I wish things were more even with us.   6 years into this relationship and I'm getting a little tired of teaching him everything. Like, how you can't throw a wadded up dishcloth in the bottom of the sink. For the 112th time.  And that he doesn't take the initiative to do things that need to be done. Like grocery shopping or laundry. He'll do it if asked, but I resent always having to ask.   I always try to remind myself that I grew up in a house that did not tolerate messes and clutter or procrastination and his mom absolutely does not GAF. Granted, neither one of us are as extreme as either one of our mother's. Thank goodness.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? He's my best friend. When it's time to play, we just laugh and laugh and just genuinely enjoy the shitt out of each other. I love that we are growing with each other and that he keeps me grounded. And he sends me the sweetest text messages EVERY day multiple times a day. He appreciates me and I appreciate him.   Even though it's not the little things that would be obvious to me, he's always looking for ways to make me happy.   It makes it much easier to overlook the little irritations with each other.

Wow this was kind of a novel.

jennamarie10 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:94762779-6b84-48ee-871f-5fd84178f44e">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE] Your favorite thing about your relationship? Hmm...I'm kind of blah about things right now so I can't really think of a favorite thing at the moment. Sad!
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

I hope you feel better soon!! Being in a funk is the worst.

snuff9861 · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? I do. Fi makes more money but I am totally able to manage money better. He is also a laidback guy and I am a get er done kind of gal.

Which one of you married/dated up? He did.

Who is the better spouse/partner? I think we're equal. We both have flaws and have a hard time with communication, but we're both working on it in order to be a better spouse.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? That I wasn't so dominant. I wish Fi would take control once in a while.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? I know there's someone who loves me unconditionally that is not my parent.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?
Definitely me, not sure how to explain this one other than if there's a decision to be made I'm the decider!

Which one of you married/dated up?
Me! I was with a lot of losers before finding FI

Who is the better spouse/partner?
Him!

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?
We have small fights that we let ruin our entire day! We need to stop, fight it out and move on.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?
I have a cat who's a real jerk, and those two are bffs

andrea2473 · July 2012

I have the flu and I'm bored so I asked H these questions and here are his answers.

Who has more power in your relationship? "You do, dumbass."

Which one of you married/dated up? *points at me* I asked "Why?" He said, "Not a big secret really."

Who is the better spouse/partner? *points at himself* and won't tell me why.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? More sex

Your favorite thing about your relationship? Laughing.

Well you can tell I'm the wordy one in the relationship. At least we agree on the last question.

Smash Adams · July 2012

Now I want to see pictures of people to compare who married up in looks, since some of you say that you or your SO did.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:945b0afd-3823-4fd0-af49-2b81a8574b31">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : I hope you feel better soon!! Being in a funk is the worst.
Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

Thanks jenna :)

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Here Smash, I said I married up in looks. (Disregard my bra insisting on showing itself)

shaydenise · July 2012

lol, Smash. Here's a recent picture of us. And where's yours hmmm?

andrea2473 · July 2012

This is from our rehearsal dinner. I said that we are even on the attractiveness level.

KateJ10 · July 2012

This is a few years old, but I don't have many non wedding photos on my comp

NicoleSahara · July 2012

Kate, Andrea and Shay, you all make good looking couples!

jennamarie10 · July 2012

you guys are so pretty!

StefffiC · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

I think that we're pretty equal. He handles our finances and controls the money because I just don't give a crap. In a way I guess he has the power, but I make the majority of the money. I trust him completely and suck at financial stuff. But I do look at our checking account statements to see what we buy every month.

Which one of you married/dated up?

I'm younger, make more, but I think he's more attractive than I am. He's also more fun than I am. I think we both did.

Who is the better spouse/partner?

He is. I manage our house - I make all of the vet appts for the cat, the horse's appts, the car appts, but he actually makes sure that everything gets done because he has Friday off. He manages our money, pays bills, what the cleaning lady doesn't do, he cleans. He grooms my horse and spends time with him. He does farm chores for the horse, even though he is a city boy who had no interest in the horses when we met. He puts up with me and my schedule. He keeps fixing the truck I love.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

The house he owns. I hate it and we can't sell it. Plus he loves it. I hope I love it when it's done.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

His warmth in bed, the comfort of knowing that he always has my back but he's always real and honest with me at home when I'm being a nut. That he will listen to me vent about work and all the crap I deal with. I love the way he deals with our animals and the 2am phone calls where I'm going to the Evet with them.

pillsburyaj · July 2012

I am on my work comp, but I will try and link the pic from my profile HERE

KateJ10 · July 2012

The first time I met H, he had on a tie, argyle vest, and pleated dress pants. Also, he was super pale at that time, with big undereye circles. I thought he was a nerd! He also thought I was super materialistic and shallow. lol

Thanks gals

OH- New question: What were your first opinions of each other?

StefffiC · July 2012

andrea2473 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:b4bf3313-c41d-465b-a7a9-fe2e4cc045b9">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]Kate, Andrea and Shay, you all make good looking couples!
Posted by NicoleSahara[/QUOTE]

Thanks! I hate how my hair looks so flat in that pic. You can't really tell, but H has beautiful green eyes.

And I don't think you married up. I think you two look very well-matched.

andrea2473 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:a18b24ef-4a84-4403-8afa-afb0be1bedb6">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE] I think we're pretty even. Ick that's an akward pose.
Posted by rachers1017[/QUOTE]

I'm not usually a fan of facial hair, but your H wears it really well. Cute picture!

jennamarie10 · July 2012

either TK is eating posts or people are DD'ing their pictures. dang.

midgetthemighty · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship? Probably me.

Which one of you married/dated up? I'd say we're about even. Same level of education and such. He just now started making as much money as I do and has more chances of advancement in his new job than I do currently. As far as looks go, I've actually had people tell me that H married up in that regard. I'd say we're even.

Who is the better spouse/partner? He probably is. He remembers all of the little things no matter what, does most of the cooking and laundry without being asked, etc.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be? That H wouldn't give in to my side as quickly as he tends to. I want discussions and he jumps to the conclusion that I completely hate his idea when that's never true.

Your favorite thing about your relationship? We can't stay mad at each other for very long and he's so good at making me laugh/comforting me.

KateJ10 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:9e041ad8-7dfe-4162-bb25-396471742857">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]either TK is eating posts or people are DD'ing their pictures. dang.
Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

I am blaming AYG. Suspicious timing again, from TK.

midgetthemighty · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:9e041ad8-7dfe-4162-bb25-396471742857">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]either TK is eating posts or people are DD'ing their pictures. dang.
Posted by jennamarie10[/QUOTE]

TK is eating posts again. I just answered all the questions and put a picture. It's gone. At least for now...it'll probably be back once I hit "submit" on here.

KateJ10 · July 2012

Yeah, posts are totally screwing up again. MUTHERFUCKER.

andrea2473 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:42b1bff8-37d7-4389-940c-dce6ab50f5bb">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]The first time I met H, he had on a tie, argyle vest, and pleated dress pants. Also, he was super pale at that time, with big undereye circles. I thought he was a nerd! He also thought I was super materialistic and shallow. lol Thanks gals OH- New question: What were your first opinions of each other?
Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

I was leading his training group at work and I had to stop several times to tell him to shut up because he wouldn't stop cracking jokes. It was a restaurant so it's not like it was super serious and I was secretly amused.

arwo · July 2012

Who has more power in your relationship?

Neither? I actually don't know how to answer this. Both of us pretty much just do what we want. Of course we share a sense of obligation to the relationship, so part of what we want is to be supportive. I don't know how to think about that in terms of power.

Unless power is a code word for money. In that case, H has all the "power."

Which one of you married/dated up?

If we're talking about straight money, I'd say that H married up; I think my family hard more money growing up than his did. If we're talking social-register-type stuff--well, his family has much deeper roots in this country than mine does, so maybe I married up.

H thinks I am smarter than he is (I don't agree) so he sometimes claims he's "leveling up."

Who is the better spouse/partner?

Meh, hard to say again. We both care about making the other person happy. H is better at making long-term sacrifices, I am better at making short-term, daily sacrifices.

Talking about my marriage in these terms makes it feel like a business arrangement, which is very contrary to my beliefs about what my marriage should be.

If you could change one thing about your relationship, what would it be?

H isn't very good at taking constructive criticism, even about little things. That makes it occasionally difficult to iron out minor annoyances.

Your favorite thing about your relationship?

I never have believed in "true love," and I have always believed that I choose the person with whom I want to spend the rest of my life (none of that "falling in love" stuff, so not my style); I like that H feels the same way. We chose to be together, and we choose to be together now and to plan our lives together. That makes it feel really special to me.

jennamarie10 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:42b1bff8-37d7-4389-940c-dce6ab50f5bb">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]The first time I met H, he had on a tie, argyle vest, and pleated dress pants. Also, he was super pale at that time, with big undereye circles. I thought he was a nerd! He also thought I was super materialistic and shallow. lol Thanks gals OH- New question: What were your first opinions of each other?
Posted by KateJ10[/QUOTE]

I think it's the 2 server thing again. Like half of the posts show up sometimes, the other half the next.

My first opinion of H was that he was a total freaking weirdo-like the class clown type of guy. I definitely thought, what a cool guy to be friends with! And then we went on a first date and he was so nervous and awkward, not at all how he had been the night I met him. Then he evened out and now he's class clown half the time and big squishy teddy bear the rest.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:7c2693e2-c36f-4c06-9e56-40f1b273bd08">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : Thanks! I hate how my hair looks so flat in that pic. You can't really tell, but H has beautiful green eyes. And I don't think you married up. I think you two look very well-matched.
Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

Thanks :) and that's funny because I totally almost commented on the fact that your H has really pretty eyes. It was the first thing I noticed about him.

NicoleSahara · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_relationships-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:509ef2d8-3117-47ba-bacc-2e289d267ca2Post:7c2693e2-c36f-4c06-9e56-40f1b273bd08">Re: Relationships Poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Relationships Poll : Thanks! I hate how my hair looks so flat in that pic. You can't really tell, but H has beautiful green eyes. And I don't think you married up. I think you two look very well-matched.
Posted by andrea2473[/QUOTE]

Thanks :). And that's funny because I totally almost commented that your H has really pretty eyes. It was the first thing I noticed about him.

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